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Assume the Best

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“We must never assume that which is incapable of proof.” ~Unknown

You can never truly know someone else’s intentions.

If a coworker offers to cover your shift, she may be trying to ease your stress—or she could be vying for your job. If your sister-in-law offers to pay for your meal, she may want to help you out during tough times—of she could be trying to remind you that you’re inferior.

You can always find a negative assumption that allows you to believe the worst in people. Or you can give that person the benefit of the doubt and believe they have your best interests at heart.

When you assume someone is being kind and not selfish, you may occasionally be wrong, but for the most part you’ll feel appreciative and peaceful with the people in your life. The alternative is to believe people are bad, seek and find proof everywhere, and walk around feeling bitter and critical.

When you have no proof, it’s a judgment call: assume the best and feel good and grateful, or assume the worst and feel bad and suspicious.

Choosing to see and feel good does more than ease your sense of doubt; it also expands your awareness.

Barbara Frederickson, a professor of psychology at the University of North Carolina-Chapel Hill, explains that positive emotions allow us to see more, whereas negative emotions literally narrow our thinking.

When you feel more positive emotions, you form closer bonds with people, increase your resilience, and become more satisfied with life.

You can’t always feel good. But you can choose to feel good more often, starting with the way you interpret the things people do.

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About Lori Deschene

Lori Deschene is the founder of Tiny Buddha. She started the site after struggling with depression, bulimia, c-PTSD, and toxic shame so she could recycle her former pain into something useful and inspire others to do the same. You can find her books, including Tiny Buddha’s Gratitude Journal and Tiny Buddha’s Worry Journal, here and learn more about her eCourse, Recreate Your Life Story, if you’re ready to transform your life and become the person you want to be.

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[…] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Tiny Buddha, MayaK. MayaK said: RT Do Happy: Assume the Best | tinybuddha.com http://bit.ly/5GW6Mh […]

Sylvia Perez

Even if it means being hurt from time to time, I choose to believe the best…

ejblax

look here, I think that this article covers a lot of what is said in the following post on Lifehack.org….(I, myself, do my best to assume that other's really do have good intentions. These posts are very helpful and have solidified my understanding of positive intent)

http://www.lifehack.org/articles/lifestyle/assu
Start Here:

Thanks for a top-notch post ; )

Sincerely,
Emily

[…] Do Happy: Assume the Best […]

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Social comments and analytics for this post…

This post was mentioned on Twitter by tinybuddha: Do Happy: Assume the Best http://bit.ly/75NzQW

[…] Assume the best when you’re tempted to suspect someone for no valid reason—even if they haven’t always given […]

[…] Do Happy: Assume the Best […]

[…] when you’re tempted to let your thoughts wander just to show them their words are valuable. 12. Assume the best when you’re tempted to suspect someone for no valid reason—even if they haven’t always given […]

ejblax

look here, I think that this article covers a lot of what is said in the following post on Lifehack.org….(I, myself, do my best to assume that other's really do have good intentions. These posts are very helpful and have solidified my understanding of positive intent)

http://www.lifehack.org/articles/lifestyle/assu
Thanks for a top-notch post ; )

Sincerely,
Emily

Navanirajni

I loved this article.

Rajni Navani