“Breakdowns can create breakthroughs. Things fall apart so things can fall together.” ~Unknown
A decade ago, as a nomadic adventure-seeker, I traveled and lived in Belize. I’ve always been a dream chaser, which means if I dream it, I start living it.
My twenty-year-old self was convinced living the island life in the soulful country of Belize was my dream and gateway to happiness.
After about a year of a major reality check—living on an island is very different than vacationing on an island! I felt totally empty. I felt like I had nothing.
Seriously, I had no job or city to go back to. Yet, it was just the breakdown I needed to move to the other side of the breakthrough.
A friend I met down there, another nomadic adventurer, said it so simple and straight:
“Well, since you got nothing, you’re really free to do anything.”
And in that moment was a major mental mind-shift:
Having nothing also means having everything.
That made it easy to get off my sorry butt and take full charge of the limitless possibilities in my life.
In the empty space of having nothing, there is plenty of room for the new and incredible to make its way in.
And that’s what I am sharing today:
If you feel like something is missing, or if you feel like you are not where you want to be, if you feel like “This is not it!” You know what? Within the “This is not it” rests the answer of your “Yes! This is it” life.
If you are not living the life you want, the biggest hurdle you face is within your own mind. As said by Anthony Robbins:
“It’s not about resources, it’s about resourcefulness.”
Instead of focusing on what you don’t have, use that to fire up what you want.
If you want anything to change in your life, you need to change your mind first. If you feel like you are in a the midst of a breakdown—like things around you are falling apart and not going the way you hoped, you need to first change your mind and then choose another way.
The energy around a breakdown is heavy. However, energy is just energy. Instead of labeling the breakdown as “bad,” imagine un-charging the heaviness, and simply seeing it as pure energy. That pure energy is pure potential.
Take that massive amount of energy from the breakdown and transform it into your breakthrough moment.
If I had remained in my funked-out state, worrying that I have no job and no home, I never would have started researching new places to live, and new things to learn, and the new life I wanted to create.
I took the energy of the breakdown and redirected it into taking action to change my circumstances.
The moment I shifted my perception, my reality changed.
As Marianne Williamson says, “A miracle is just a shift in perception.”
And that is what happened to me that day. It was a miracle.
A shift in my perception led me from living in a situation that was no longer serving any joy or purpose, and directed me to move to Vancouver and study holistic nutrition, which has played a massive role in my joy and purpose.
Whatever is not working in your life, you can make a miracle out if it, too.
All you need to do is take that first step and decide.
If you are feeling in a funk, or like things are just not working out, take that energy and redirect it.
Start by simply giving yourself permission to fully feel the pain you are in. Once you can accept that your current circumstances are no longer serving you, you can choose to deliberately change it.
Give yourself permission to take “thinking time.” Life can get so busy, and often when we don’t like where our life is, we fill it with things to do so that we don’t have to think about our unhappiness.
However, this doesn’t help us get out of our funk. This is what keeps us stuck in a perpetual state of unhappiness.
Give yourself permission to think. Go outside in nature and give yourself an hour of pure thinking time. Ask yourself: What do I want in my life? What is my dream solution?
The answers are inside of us. All we need is to give a little time to take care of our emotional body so that we can break free from the self-made blocks that leave us feeling heavy and unhappy.
Once you give yourself time to think, you will often start to shift into a new mindset full of possibilities. The most important thing at this stage will be to make an action plan to actually change how you are living.
Ask yourself, what step can you take today to make your life lighter? What can you let go of that is no longer serving you?
Sometimes it will be a radical change, like moving to a new city and starting a new job, or studying something brand new. Other times it can be as simple as integrating a new healthy eating habit or daily exercise routine.
Whatever it is, make sure you take action so that you actually breakthrough to the other side and live a life of more meaning and fulfillment.
Now it’s your turn.
Have you ever experienced a shift in perception that helped you get unstuck? Or are you in a place that feels stuck and you’re finally ready to shift your perspective?
Share your story and insights in the comments below. Your contribution helps us all grow!
Photo by Leland Francisco
About Tova Payne
Tova Payne is an author & personal coach. Her newest book, Eat Think & Live Rich: A Guide to Health and Happiness, is now available on Amazon. She runs a virtual coaching practice helping people turn their dreams to reality. For a FREE guide to starting and finishing your dream projects and weekly inspiration, sign up with Tova at tovapayne.com. Connect with Tova on Facebook.
Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 
Tova!
This was a real inspiring post 🙂 I loved reading it and I loved your message. ‘Having nothing means having everything’ Wow! Its a beautiful reminder. Thank you so much for sharing that.
A shift in perception that really helped me (I had it recently only) was that I am never alone and the Universe is always here to help me. It made me just exhale fully and deeply and I felt really relived and relaxed after that. Another insight was that whatever negative (if I may use that word for a moment) emotions I experience aren’t to be feared. They are portals of discovery, revealing things about me that I wouldn’t have known ‘cuz I wouldn’t go there voluntarily.
These 2 insights have made my days a lot better and I am really grateful for them. Thank you so much for today’s message. Simple, straightforward, and truly effective.
Much love!
P.S. I loved the ‘thinking time’ part! I love to be in solitude and get in touch with my insides. Don’t you too?? 😀
I fully agree that a change in perspective can change your whole life. I experienced this with my career. I decided to stop focusing on what I didn’t like about it and to take advantage of all the great things I could do with it. That shift changed my whole career for me. I focused on the possibilities instead of the limitations, and I today I really love my job. Great post! Thanks!
Great and ispiring post! One of the difficulties in letting go of the negative to get into the positive attitude, thought, I find it may be, letting go of the past, of the memories that you tend to keep. The process must need a really strong motivation!
Beautifully written! When you change your thought/energy you also change your reality. Shifting your perception is not an easy task but the key is to be patient with yourself and remember that it’s a process. Very inspirational post. I love it.
Hi Esha! Thanks for your comment. Yes, time alone, in nature is the best way to ground, get clarity and allow our mind to release and move into greater clarity & peace and connection. I love what you say about portals of discovery. Thank you for sharing 🙂
Thank you Tkresia 🙂
HI Chris, thanks for your comment. I think at times the process can need a strong motivation, but another thing is our mind can only be occupied with one thing at a time. Its a law of physics: no 2 things can occupy the same space at the same time. So if we shift out attention to gratitude, or something positive, that alone is strong enough to release the negative. Then, it turns into a game/or like a meditation of sorts. Anytime a negative though comes in that you are aware of, you consciously choose to release it and focus on a positive one/a thought of gratitude. 🙂
Hi CJ, that is very inspiring. Thanks for sharing 🙂
Somehow the tiny Buddha articles always align with my circumstances and what I’m going through at that point in my life. This article included. Recently I decided it was time to move out of the apartment I was living in for various reasons, the most prominent being it was time to move on, just felt right. Was getting a little worried the end of the month as I was finding little few living situations that would suit me, that is until my older sister calls me up out of the blue and asks me if I wanted to move to the city of kelowna half hour away from my little old hometown vernon to help her open her new gym and work front desk girl full time. BOOM responsible roommate, full time job, limitless new learning opportunities all fell into my lap. We just recently found the perfect affordable place downtown. West kelowna very recently opened a new csnn school where they offer holistic nutrition which is exactly what I want to get into. I cant believe how lucky I am and how things just fell into place, which just goes to show you have to put a lot of work into it but its so worth it. Can’t wait to start this new life 🙂
This article has great timing for me! I’ve just had a massive breakdown (lost fiancé, apartment, job) but the immense sense of freedom I get out of this situation made me feel like the world waiting for me to achieve even greater things. Having nothing to lose definitely can motivate to try something new, maybe even something crazy. ^_^
“Take that massive amount of energy from the breakdown and transform it into your breakthrough moment.” – I love this quote and since I’ve already thought a possible new direction in life I shall take your advice and make the best out of it! ~
The only difficulty I face are self-esteem issues but right now I can’t afford to stay in my comfort zone so I’ll just push myself through these issues and out of this situation! Fighting! ~
Less is more. The more we have to take care of and balance in our lives the more unhappiness we are likely to feel. Most helpful to unload a little something every day – either physical or emotional baggage. That way we can function at a little higher level of consciousness. I’m in transition again in life, this time after a devastating loss. It is from difficult circumstance and grief that we can open portals to new ideas and opportunity. When things are at their darkest and we seem to be blocked from all directions we are actually standing on the threshold of something new. God bless.
Yep, that’s very true indeed! And a good thing to practice daily 😉 thank you!
I enjoyed reading this- it’s reassuring because I’ve just decided to quit a job and live off of savings in order to find my way into more meaningful work. It would be nice to jungle-bar from this job to the next, but I just need SPACE. At times I worry about becoming destitute in this job market once savings run out, and feel like I should stay and be thankful for the stability. But the stability is stifling. I’m deciding to take the leap. Thanks for the inspiration!
Wow Dee! That’s inspiring. Brave. Courageous. And sounds incredible 🙂 Thanks for sharing here :))
Hi Girldawg1, wow, so inspiring and helpful for us all to hear. Yes, the dark times do lead to light, and thank you for sharing with us here. I also love what you say about unloading a little everyday. Yes! Thank You 🙂
Hi Lacosta, Thanks for your comment and sharing here. And the magic happens everytime we push just outside our comfort zone 🙂 And that alone, I believe, will strengthen your belief in your strength which increases your self esteem because moving outside our comfort zone is challenging and rewarding 🙂
Hey kittykat your email made me smile Big Time! Thanks for sharing this great story 🙂 WaHoo! And CSNN is where I went back in 2005. Its a great learning experience 🙂
I experienced a shift in perception two years ago, thanks to yoga, meditation, hiking/nature and journaling. I know yoga was the most significant factor. It’s changed my life for the better in ways that are still revealing themselves. Anyway. I loved everything you said. Spot on!
“They are portals of discovery, revealing things about me that I wouldn’t have known ‘cuz I wouldn’t go there voluntarily.” OMG, Esha! What an AMAZING way to put it!
Activated by the Sacred YES!
Things are falling apart right now for me, at a frightening pace too. Same deal of always feeling cursed and nothing really working out. Conquered ground lost. Back to square one. I guess the message is I’m on the wrong path altogether. I can’t think of another reason things would fall apart so quickly. Your post helps somewhat but I’m sick of always trying to ‘make things work out’, only to watch it fall apart again. I guess you just gotta keep grinding until things finally work out for you. But right now I have no clue what to do and I’m just sick of it all.
I’m sorry that you’re in a phase of feeling stuckness right now. I’ve been there, in my own way. And, I know how painful, frustrating and just plain soul-crushing it can be. As a control freak, the greatest lesson I’ve learned thus far is learning to let go and let be. Yoga has helped me immensely with that. Not sure if you’ve tried that, and I have no idea what your situation is, so please forgive me if I’m overstepping my boudaries, but just figured I’d throw it out there. May you find some clarity soon! <3
You didn’t overstep any boundaries. Letting go and letting be is good advice. I find it very hard to do though, because I believe I’m responsible. It’s like I keep coming back to the same point. I keep failing.
hi Ru-an. what a powerful comment you leave.
i can empathize with you completely.
here i offer what i feel for your situation.
the line “i believe im responsible” is the key truth in all of it. by being aware of this the changes can happen.
letting go and letting it be is hard when you are not playing your own rhythm. I have seen in life that when we are not playing our own rhythm, and we are trying to “be someone” or doing things that others think you should do, then things will fall apart.
failure is part of the growth, if we dont see it in a negative light. it can help us get out of our cycle,
if we choose to see it as a lesson, it will help us turn our cycle/patterns into a growth, like a spiral staircase. instead of a merry-go-round.
i hope this makes sense 🙂
in summary, if you can see that you are responsible, it means you have the same power to get out of the cycle/pattern.
much love 🙂
heres a good quote from Batman 🙂
‘why do we fall down? so that we can learn how to pick ourselves up”
Geez!! Thanks a lot 🙂 Inspiration like a thunder bolt of lighting 😉 I really liked that too when I wrote it.
Hey Tova!!
I forgot to tell you but you have a really beautiful name! 🙂
I visited your site too and I loved how simple, honest, and impactful (the word’s my creation!) you are in your writing. Awesome!! I could totally connect with it.
Wishing you the best of luck in everything!
Much love <3
Thanks Anthony. We will see what comes out of it all. Right now it’s just a bit hard for me to look at things in a positive light.
After reading this post, I am reminded of the following poem in French – Liberte by Robert Desnos – “Le monde appartient a ceux qui n’ont rien” = The world belongs to those who have nothing.” I taught HS French for 20 years, and every year I had my seniors memorize that poem. In this consumer-driven world of ours, I like to think that I planted that seed in people who were stepping out into the world . . .
This is one of my all time favorite Tiny Budda lessons! I have been suffering through a breakup for nine months,we were together 12 years. We owned 2 beautiful homes, one in RI and. Beautiful family camp in New Hampshire. I was given all the furniture,which really just made me feel I was thrown out like trash, and I feel I am responsible for this life changing event. I know I need to let go of my guilt, and my things. It’s just so very hard for me, my collection of “things” I’ve collected my whole life. I want to move with little to the mountains of North Carolina, but finding it soooo hard to part with “stuff” even when I need the money desperately , for I have been unable to work much,being in a comatose state most if the time.I desperately want to let go and be free of these feelings and things. Reading Tiny Budda is helping me every day through this living hell. I have great support of friends and family,that keep telling me life WILL get better:) thank you for this words of wisdom, I really needed it today.
Tova, I just wanted to say thank you so much for sharing this! I just quit my job today & this article has given me the strength to take the thinking time that I need!
Thanks Esha 🙂
Hi Gia, Wow, brave and amazing 🙂 Thanks for sharing here.
Hey Gretchen ((hug)) thank you for sharing here. Letting go is definitely one of the most challenging but freeing experiences. xoxo
Hey Sheila, that’s a great quote, thank you 🙂
HI Gina, thanks for sharing here. Yoga is an incredible practice that has this magical power to touch us in ways beyond the physical. I think of it as psychology through the body, and so thanks for sharing the impact its had on you. I can relate.
🙂
The section where you suggested giving oneself some “thinking time” hits home for me because l have a habit of filling my time, days and energies with things that help me avoid thinking about my unhappiness. It is a coping mechanism, and the only one that I’ve found to be effective in keeping me from going off of the deep end. If I were to “think” about all that I’m not satisfied with, I’d be in big trouble, as a lot of pessimism and self-loathing would overflow and lead me to a lot of inaction. Being busy and active at least gives me a way to fill my time without sulking in front of a TV with a pint of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream. I mean, that’s no way to live. We all have to find what works for each of us and many times, I think I’ve found what works for me.
What a great post! I’ve been in a bit of a rut lately. I had graduated college and realized my major wasn’t what I wanted to do. Then came two years of unemployment and falling in and out of depression. I finally broke free and landed a job, completely unrelated to my major. It’s been almost a year and a half working at this job, and the job duties have also shifted. Deep down I know I don’t want to stay with this profession or company in the long run, but I’m not unhappy. The job is highly tolerable and even enjoyable at times. I think the route of my problem is that I still don’t know what I want. I’m a big thinker, and I’m sure some will say I think too much for my own good, haha. It’s the thinking that often leaves me even more confused than in the first place! I have so many passions and technically I have a lot of freedom to pursue my dreams, but why don’t I know what I what? How does one know?
Hey Jenna, thanks for posting. I find the best way to know is to take action on one thing and through action you will know. We cant know just through thought. Thought will only take us so far, and our mind is so clever it can think up all kinds of stories to think ourselves IN and OUT of just about Anything! This is why action is the magic. The moment you take action you get immediate feedback. The feedback will be—Yup, this feels right, or Heck no! This ISNT it! So lets say you had 3 major passions. I would take a little time to brainstorm them, write it out and see if there is an underlying common theme. Then, I would focus on one thing and decide what First action can I take to test this out? When you look at things as a “test” or “experiment” it lends some freedom and allows you to discover if that passion is something you want to pursue at the level of Intense commitment/career or to keep it as a hobby. Hope that make some sense 😉 Let me know if I can help further
Hi Nicole thanks for sharing. Being busy, can in fact BE a very healthy coping mechanism. At the same time, when we allow something to be as it is fully, all things in life complete itself. Like when we are happy we don’t try to distract it with something else because we enjoy it. And like all things in life, that event completes itself. In unhappiness we often try to resist it/stop it/not want to feel it, so it never gets its opportunity to complete itself and it sticks around. The practice and Art of allowing is powerful. However, it can be tricky. It is one thing to be with an emotion, which is a powerful and ultimately peaceful state(even if it is the experience of sad), the tricky part is the stories we make up(in our head) that go with the emotion, versus the pure emotion in and of itself. Not sure if that’s making sense. I guess its the difference between ruminating over something which is not healthy or beneficial, and then simply allowing the emotion of sad to run its course which is healthy and beneficial. I like what you bring up here, because I think it is helpful for a lot of people 🙂
Nice post. I’ve recently gone through a major transition–everything broke down/restructured and I’m rebuilding. New city, new job(s), new people. I’m living with much less–it’s refreshing. If I had to leave I could without having to do much of anything with my belongings. I got all my furniture donated in my place. It’s been a challenging year, but I know is taking me closer to my ideal life–not the detour I expected, but making the most of things really makes you feel good. Difficult, but reframing one’s perspective and using that energy to make changes, builds you : ) The post was very enjoyable.
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My boyfriend and I have been working a lot on changing our perspective towards the positive. We live in an apartment we hate, feel like we own too many things, and he’s stuck in a job he hates for the next two and a half years. Despite all this, we’ve been so motivated to being positive and making the best out of our situation. We’ve been downsizing our life in preparation for our dream of living in an RV and looking for a new place to live with cheaper rent. Instead of complaining about our money situation (my job doesn’t pay squat!) we think it’s a good thing since it prevents us from being mindless consumers and we pay a LOT more attention to our budgeting and savings. Instead of being down about our current situation, we spend a lot of time planning and being REALLY excited about the future.
Thank you so much for the advice. It makes a lot of sense. Unfortunately I’ve had a lifetime battle with anxiety that often prevents me from taking action. Although I can proudly say I’ve come a long way in the last few years. I think I just need to continue to push myself out of my comfort zone. Even if it takes little steps at first.
I have been spiraling down the path of removing the ego and enlightenment for the last 3 months. All of my distractions (video games, movies, etc) have disappeared. I have been reading and meditating in all of my free time. I read this and quit my job 20 minutes before noon, couldn’t even wait it out to round my hour up. I knew I had to quit, I’m not who I used to be, and I couldn’t work the job of my old self anymore, it does not serve me. Reading this put me over the edge. Thank you.
Wow Fncanuk! Inspiring and made my heart light up 🙂 Thank You for posting 🙂
very inspiring, I’m considering doing the same, would be great to hear how you get on, good luck 🙂
My name is Apollinaire N. and I am 31 years old. I was born in poverty-stricken environment. When I was 13 years old, I decided to change my life by taking risk adventure. I was in primary school that time and hadn’t completed it. When I left my birth country, I was not sure how I would survive there, in a foreign country, where I had to complete my education, learn new things including new languages, new skills and adapt to the new life experience on my own, of course without parents and a minor. After many years of trying to change my life, I lately found happiness and the good life I was destined to live. It’s a long story. My conclusion is that impossible is nothing, God gave us reason and we have to use it for our advantage to radically change our lives.
Tova, your post really struck me. I guess you could say that I’m the category of being “in a place that feels stuck and you’re finally ready to shift your perspective”. I hope you don’t mind that I used a quote in your post as a springboard for a post on my blog. http://aneternaltraveler.wordpress.com/2013/12/01/distracting-yourself-from-your-unhappiness/ You wrote, “Life can get so busy, and often when we don’t like where our life is, we fill it with things to do so that we don’t have to think about our unhappiness.” That really resonated with me. I feel like I’m at a crossroads and the decision I make will define my life for a good long time. Thank you for posting. Thank you for sharing your wisdom.
Hi Ru-an, so funny- I completely understand what you’re going through. I thought I was the only one in the world who felt this way. It’s like you feel like you keep messing things up, even when you try to set them straight. So in a way theres no control, yet you are responsible for the failings. But anything you do to succeed turns backwards. It makes you feel and wonder if you are cursed. Like nothing you do really matters, because it will always turn negative. And it gets so exhausting and feeling hopeless..,like you’re fighting some nameless faceless evil force, so how can you possibly win?? I had such bad luck tonight, and throughout my life, I am feeling exasperated, alone, empty and helpless. But maybe the key is to have faith in God, no matter what, no matter how dark, how hopeless things seem, to always hold on to that light, and never let go, to always believe God will come in and change it all, that God is with you through it all. Maybe that is the key…to let go, and let God do whatever comes…believe there is a meaning and purpose behind all that happens, good and bad