UPDATE – The winners for this giveaway are:
- Melissa Ballinger Dees
- Julie C. Perry
- Bobby Irion
- Michael Jon Piper
- Hannah
Sometimes the world can feel like a lonely place. There are billions of people on the planet, and many of us encounter hundreds in the course of our daily lives. Yet it’s easy to feel disconnected from most, if not all of them.
The many strangers we pass on a given day, who may avert their eyes to avoid awkwardness, can start to feel like part of the scenery—like cars parked in a lot or leaves floating in the wind.
And, of course, we may feel the same to them, when we attempt to busy ourselves right when we cross paths—anything to avoid an intimate moment of locking eyes with someone we don’t know.
We look at our feet, or our phones, or our friends. We shut down, cave in, tune them out. In that moment, they’re not people, with stories and feelings just like us. They’re strangers. Unknown. And perhaps a little scary.
The luckiest of us have deep connections with people we do know. But even those relationships can feel distant at times, and maybe more often than not.
We may feel judged, or misunderstood, or ignored. We may worry about what those people think of us, or wonder if they’ll be there when we need them.
And worst of all, we may question if they’d still be there if they really knew us, deepest secrets and all. Proximity doesn’t always equal closeness, and closeness doesn’t guarantee trust.
If it sounds like I am speaking from experience, that’s because I am. I have felt lonely, and insecure, and suspicious. I’ve feared letting my guard down, letting my feelings out, and letting people in.
As a result, I spent years living on an island in my head, maintaining a physical presence in the world but remaining as much emotional distance as possible.
The irony is that I thought I was keeping myself safe from pain, when really I was causing it.
It hurts to feel separate. We are wired to seek connection and belonging—to feel like we are part of something larger than ourselves.
They say it takes a village to raise a child, but I believe it also takes one to sustain an adult. We were not built to live in isolation, hidden behind apartment doors, phone screens, and dead eyes.
We thrive when we feel like part of a tribe, when the people we share space with become part of “us,” not “them.”
I’ve spent my whole life fantasizing about “us,” and years trying to learn what it takes to be part of that.
I wish I could say I’ve discovered some great secret to forming deep, meaningful relationships and feeling less alone in the world, but that would be a lie.
I haven’t discovered any one thing that turns strangers into friends, and friends into family. I have, however, identified countless tiny things, which, compounded over time, can make a massive difference.
And that’s how Tiny Buddha’s 365 Tiny Love Challenges was born. As you may recall, I launched the book in October of last year.
I wanted it to be a comprehensive list of small things we can do, every day, to create deep, meaningful connections with the people around us.
I wanted to offer specific, actionable ways to show kindness, compassion, trust, and support; to be authentic, accepting, forgiving, and encouraging.
They’re abstract ideas, and not always easy to put into practice, especially when you factor in that other people are flawed and scared, just like us.
Though I still don’t feel as connected as I’d like to be—a natural consequence of moving every two years for the past sixteen—I no longer live alone on the Alcatraz in my head.
I have healed relationships from my past, dug beneath the surface with people who would otherwise have remained acquaintances, and most importantly, strengthened my relationship with myself so that I finally believe I am worthy of being loved and fully seen.
And I feel proud that I’ve created a book that, I’ve been told, has helped other people do the same.
If you grabbed a copy last year, you may be at the halfway point now—meaning you’ve completed six months of challenges pertaining to kindness, compassion, authenticity, forgiveness, attention, and honesty.
I’d love to know how this experience has been for you—if you feel more connected, if you’ve strengthened your relationships, or if there have been any other pleasant, unexpected side effects of taking these action steps.
And if you don’t have a copy, I’d like to offer you a chance to win one today. I’m giving away five autographed books, and all you need to do is leave a comment answering one of the following questions:
-What is one thing you believe most people want to receive from the people they love?
-What is one thing you believe most people want to hear from the people they love?
-What do you think it means to love someone?
Your comment doesn’t need to be any specific length; in fact, it can be one word. However much you choose to write, know that you are giving all Tiny Buddha readers a gift through your time and effort.
Whatever you choose to write could inspire someone, guide them toward a life-changing epiphany, or help them form deeper, more meaningful relationships with the people around them.
Your comment is, in itself, a tiny act of love. And I will be the first to say that I am grateful for it.
You can enter the giveaway until Wednesday, July 13th, and you can learn more about Tiny Buddha’s 365 Tiny Love Challenges, or grab a copy, here.
About Lori Deschene
Lori Deschene is the founder of Tiny Buddha. She started the site after struggling with depression, bulimia, c-PTSD, and toxic shame so she could recycle her former pain into something useful and inspire others to do the same. You can find her books, including Tiny Buddha’s Gratitude Journal and Tiny Buddha’s Worry Journal, here and learn more about her eCourse, Recreate Your Life Story, if you’re ready to transform your life and become the person you want to be.
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Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 
“What do you think it means to love someone?”
Love is about taking the good and bad of a person, and coming at them with unconditional love and acceptance. It is the joy of connecting, being one.
Looking forward to reading your book 🙂
“What is one thing you believe most people want to receive from the people they love?”
I believe that most people want to receive acceptance from the people they love. Personally speaking from my own introverted experience, day to day life can be exhausting when trying to find that balance of being yourself, and being just social enough to avoid the ‘weird people watcher in the corner’ label. It’s a comfort knowing that I can get off work, go home, and bury my head in a book and know that my fiancée accepts (and often joins in) with this part of me. I also accept that she is more of a social butterfly than I ever hope to be, and in those situations I dust off my limited collection of social skills and join in, enjoying the fact the because we accept those parts of each other, we balance each other out perfectly.
“What is one thing you believe most people want to receive from the people they love?”
Non-judgement and acceptance. They don’t want to be loved because they’ve done something “right” or pleased anyone. They don’t want conditional love. They want a love that allows them to be and grow and change.
Thanks for this giveaway and I’m excited that I might win! 🙂
“What is one thing you believe most people want to hear from the people they love?”
“I am here, and I’m with you.”
I believe this, apparently simply phrase, has an enourmous impact on anyone. From personal experience, sometimes, when you’re all by yourself, all you want to hear from someone you care about, and that you know, cares about you, is that they’re there, with you, if you need, and you can let them know as well, that they can count on you. To feel that sense of trusting and being trusted by someone, is one of the most beautiful blessings of life, and one that certainly helps you carry your wagon along the path.
-What do you think it means to love someone?
I think loving someone is selflessly providing for the needs of another (in a reasonable manner – each of us can only provide for ____ people before we begin to take away from ourself) while trusting that the other person will provide something in kind.
-What is one thing you believe most people want to hear from the people they love?
I think it’s less about speaking and more about listening. You want to be able to feel like they’re listening to you, and they care about & value what you’re saying. I believe it’s important to feel like the person you love is interested in the way your mind works and is there to hear you out when you need it the most.
What is one thing you believe most people want to hear from the people they love?
acceptance
What is one thing most people want to hear from those that they love?
I don’t think that “hearing” things is what people want most from those that they love. I think that most people want and need to be shown things, in tiny ways and on most days. Cliche as it is, talk is cheap. You need to show up in the emotional and physical sense of the phrase.
I think most people want to feel unconditional acceptance from the people they love.
I think people want to hear validation and encouragement.
To love someone is to see them entirely and completely, their assets and shortcomings, and still wanting them to be a part of your life.
Acceptance. It’s the one word that popped into my mind when it comes to feeling loved, whether it’s by friends or family or your spouse. We all need to feel it and know that we are OK in their world.
To love someone is to accept them unconditionnally, to offer them kindness and to enjoy to see them thrive without clinging on them….
-What is one thing you believe most people want to receive from the people they love?
Unconditional acceptance and permission to be vulnerable.
— What is one thing you believe most people want to receive from the people they love?
Acceptance. Absolutely. Sometimes I don’t even accept myself, but my husband accepts me unconditionally. And I accept him unconditionally, too. We are learning from each other that we’re both beautiful and loveable and safe. We both carry so much baggage and are going through it one item at a time…
(1) Love is about appreciation, understanding and respect for each other.
(2) They want to hear that they are accepted and are enough for each other. They want to hear that every dreams they dream of, they want to fulfill together.
(3) To love someone is to feel free being together, enjoy life in all circumstances and feel safe with each other.
-What is one thing you believe most people want to receive from the people they love?
Respect and understanding
-What is one thing you believe most people want to hear from the people they love?
That they are appreciated! And really the words “I love you” are so simple but so needed sometimes.
-What do you think it means to love someone?
Opening your heart and learning how to grow with them.
What is one thing you believe most people want to receive from the people they love?
I think acceptance for the person you are, with your struggles and the patience it takes to overcome them. Teamwork and humility.
IMO, all 3 questions can be answered with one word: Validation.
Love is the decision to respect the beloved’s integrity (the beloved being all persons in one’s life, including one’s self), with out trying to possess or control the beloved.
What is one thing you believe most people want to receive from the people they love?
Love without condition.
What is one thing you believe most people want to receive from the people they love? – I think most people want to receive words of affirmation from the ones they love. Knowing that they are being loved is enough to make them feel that all is right in the world.
I believe most people want to receive appreciation and acceptance from the people they love.
What is one thing you believe most people want to receive from the people they love?
I think it’s respect, attentive listening and compassion.
“What’s one thing you believe most people want to receive from the people they love?”
-From experience, what I wanted most was their time.
The one thing people want to most receive is attentive listening. Not grunts while someone is checking Facebook on their cell phone. They want someone who is going to respect them enough to listen actively without bias.
I know I crave acceptance as a form of love. I have to remind myself moment by moment to lower my guard and see the person in front of me and let them see me.
“What is one thing you believe most people want to receive from the people they love?”
In a word…respect. It is the foundation for any meaningful relationship
In this digital age, where everyone is constantly connected to their phones, I think the most important way to show love to those we care about is by the act of being present. By disconnecting with our devices and truly paying attention to our loved ones around us will make a tremendous difference.
The one thing I believe most people want to receive from the people they love is ACCEPTANCE!
What is one thing you believe most people want to receive from the people they love?
Appreciation
What is one thing you believe most people want to receive from the people they love? That they are validated and loved for who they are.
-What is one thing you believe most people want to hear from the people they love? That they matter and they are loved with full acceptance.
-What do you think it means to love someone? Looking through their flaws and imperfections and laugh cause you have imperfections too.
“What is one thing you believe most people want to receive from the people they love?” To be heard. To have that person give their time and be present.
What is one thing you believe most people want to hear from the people they love?
That everything is going to be okay. It’s not a promise that everything will be perfect, but more that support that together they will get through it. Not wanting to sound sappy, but “you are the wind beneath my wings” is true. When I have that physical or mental support from someone I love and I know loves me, I can make it through the bad times.
What is one thing you believe most people want to receive from the people they love? That they are understood and loved for they are with full acceptance.
-What is one thing you believe most people want to hear from the people they love? That they matter and they are loved with full acceptance.
-What do you think it means to love someone? Looking through their flaws and imperfections and laugh cause you have imperfections too.
What is one thing you believe most people want to hear from the people they love?
That they are not alone, and that people aren’t leaving.
-What do you think it means to love someone?
-What do you think it means to love someone? – It means giving them the freedom to be themselves around you !
What does it mean to love someone?
Loving someone means loving them unconditionally. Unconditional love is loving someone regardless of their faults or choices. We may not like a choice someone makes, but it doesn’t mean we love them any less. Being on the receiving end of unconditional love means knowing you are accepted no matter what.
Well one thing I need from the people I love is acceptance. Acceptance as I am, fully. For me to expect that from others I need to do the same. Not always easy but realizing that we are all basically in the same boat makes it so much easier. Realizing that, also helps us to accept ourselves unconditionally which is paramount. Doing so is probably a lifelong struggle which with practice becomes more of an occasional short lived battle.
I think when you truly love someone, you stand with them and support them through difficult times, especially when it doesn’t feel as easy to love them. That unselfish patience and kindness is the definition of unconditional love.
“What is one thing you believe most people want to receive from the people they love?”
Acceptance
Appreciation
Friendship
Love
“What is one thing you believe most people want to receive from the people they love?”
Affirmation that everything will be okay
What do you think it means to love someone?
It means give your all, respect , growing together, accept the person the way it is sometime find an agreement
I believe there is nothing to be want in return of their love but it feels amazing that they are appreciated .
People want to here that they are absolutely perfect and amazing just the way they are and they are loved more each n every time.
To Love some one would mean to accep the person with the good and the bad… Love them tor what they are inspite the flaws 🙂
Love and Gratitude … 🙂 <3
This is a tough subject for me right now as I am struggling with a breakup after a four year relationship with the person I truly believed to be my soulmate. I let him in behind my wall and showed him all the raw parts of me that I have never revealed to another person. Ever. I know that all I wanted to hear from him was, I choose you, with all your imperfections, flaws, raw parts, and all your amazing wonderful parts. I will learn and grow with you.
Unconditional love.
What is one thing you believe most people want to hear from the people they love?
That you are a priority to me — my number one priority. I will make time for you no matter what else the day brings and no matter what my other obligations are. I am here for you always, but especially when you need it most.
I believe people want to be accepted as they are, flaws and all. They do not want to, nor should they have to, mold to whom you need them to be.
Loving someone is wanting the greatest good and best happiness for them.
-What is one thing you believe most people want to receive from the people they love? Love in return.
What is one thing you believe most people want to receive from the people they love?
Acceptance