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A 6-Step Daily Ritual to Create the Future and Enjoy the Present

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“What you do today is important, because you are exchanging a day of your life for it.” ~Unknown

I have always loved to-do lists. It gives me joy to plan my day in advance. Lists give me an overview, focus, and I simply love crossing things off.

Things changed when I became self-employed. My to-do list behavior turned from a supportive tool into an instrument of self-imposed pressure.

I felt that being self-employed meant that I had to work very hard to make things happen. The lists became longer and longer, at least fifteen big items per day.

As a result, it became nearly impossible to finish all the tasks on my list in one day. And as a result of that, I was not happy with my daily progress.

Even doing half the things on my list was not good enough. All I could think of were the things I had not managed to do.

My focus shifted from the positive to the negative, from where I was to where I desperately wanted to be. I was not in the now. I was always one impossible to-do list away from being happy with where I was.

I felt grumpy, did not want to speak frankly of how things were really going, and was constantly putting myself under pressure. I felt that I had to prove myself. Prove to the world that I could be successful.

So I tried a bunch of different things.

Among them, I tried living without to-do lists altogether and just going with the flow. I know people who are able to do that and I really admire them.

This did not work out for me. Instead, I shifted the to-do lists from paper into my head, which is a much messier place. So rather than just coping with an impossible list, I was also trying to memorize all the items. Not a good idea.

Then I tried working with weekly to-do lists because this would allow me to spread things out and give me more freedom to allocate tasks, according to how my day was going and how I felt.

Doing this eased things up a bit, but the lists just became even longer so I was still feeling that sense of pressure. I hardly granted myself time off, and all my focus was in the future.

I never got out of bed motivated to do the things on my list, because the sheer bulk brought me down. I was actually stressed before the day had even started.

I did not realize that the one who had to believe in myself was me, not everybody else. My to-do list was full of things that I felt I had to have in order to be successful: A running blog, a great website, a list of followers, paying clients.

This was a reflection of my forward focus, the notion that “things will be great in the mysterious land of tomorrow.” It all came from a sense of not being good enough now.

I was dedicating my focus to a place I was not even ready for yet. I was confusing growth and improvement with what it looks like when you are successful, and I was not doing the work that mattered: the internal work.

Once I started doing the internal work I realized that the best way to get forward is to be happy in the now.

So, I developed my own little ritual. I now do this consistently and make it a point not to check my phone or turn on my computer before doing this morning ritual.

It has changed the way I perceive work. I am more excited and in tune with myself, moving at a comfortable pace.

Here it is. Maybe it serves you too:

1. Be grateful.

I start my day by giving thanks to where I am now, for all the wonderful things that have happened that transported me to this beautiful time and place called the present.

2. Take your time.

I make myself a big pot of tea, sit down in my favorite spot, and snuggle up with my dog. I just give myself time to greet the day, to breathe, and to feel.

3. Connect with your vision.

Before, thinking about the future meant thinking about all the things I do not yet have or do. Connecting with my vision is different.

It means envisioning a world much bigger than myself. My vision guides what I do today. If today is a step, my vision is the direction in which I take that step.

4. Choose a theme.

Each day, I choose a theme that feels right. It reflects how I want to feel and what I want to accomplish. It can be anything, long or short, specific or general. “Today is all about…”

5. Find your three priorities.

Research shows that you can only do three to five meaningful things per day. I feel comfortable picking three and leaving enough space for magic to happen.

6. Assign celebrations.

Since I tend to gloss over my accomplishments after five happy minutes and move on to the next thing to do, I now assign a celebration to each of my three priorities. A celebration can be anything you love, big or small. It can be a walk in nature, a drink with a friend, a manicure, or reading a chapter in an inspiring book.

I hope this ritual inspires you. If you try it out and like it, I’d love to hear how it goes!

Photo by IchSapphire

About Anais Bock

Anaïs Bock is a transition mentor and personal branding coach. She helps entrepreneurs to show up authentically and build systems that allow them to balance strategy and creativity, the feminine and the masculine. She is currently doing post-graduate research on authenticity at work. Find out more at: www.meetanais.com.

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Really nice post! I actually just got out of somewhat of a slump myself. Like you I was getting grumpy and even lonely. Not a lot, but enough to realize there needed to be change.

Habits can have a snowball effect; they build upon each other. So if you cultivate bad habits, they will only get worse. Cultivating good habits forms better and better habits.

I also especially like the last part of the ritual, Assign Celebrations! Personally, I love going for walks and if I can’t do that, I stumbleupon.

List User

Actually, I just renamed my To do list – once I started calling it a Menu, rather than a To do list, it felt like the pressure was off. I track everything I would like to do with an online tool (Todoist – I have no connection to them). In the morning, or as I go through the day, I look at my Menu and choose something from the array of possibilities.

The Furries

For years I tried to find or create the perfect Time Management System
and I have eventually found a solution that works for me. I keep one
list of my absolute musts – the grown up things that cannot be
forgotten. If I review this list and see that nothing will catch fire I
am free to do whatever seems best at the moment.

GREAT POST!

Patrik Edblad

I practice some mindfulness and then meditate for about 10 minutes every morning. After that my routine is very similar to yours. I make sure to connect to my vision and be grateful for everything that I have so that I can start the day being present in the here and now.
Thanks for sharing your routine, Anais 🙂

Evelyn Lim

I am probably one of those whom you have described as “going with the flow”. However, this makes me tend to procrastinate on things that appear to be small but necessary. Recently, I started the practice of making to-do lists on a regular basis. I have found that it helps. I am finally getting to the tasks that I have been putting off for a long time!

I enjoyed reading about your ritual, Anais. Mine includes internal work plus meditation.

Joan Harrison

Number 5 works for me Anais, I need to start the day with a short list that I hope to accomplish – if it is any bigger I feel overwhelmed!

The subconscious holds so much information, it is better to feed it small chunks and as Evelyn says incorporate meditation in to achieve a balance. Thanks for the reminder!

My take-aways: 1. Slow down, 2. Make space to savor life, learn, and grow, and 3. Move from a “scarcity” mindset to one of “enough.” Thanks for your wise words, Anais.

Lacy Ellman

I’m loving #5 and #6! Adding them to my daily list now and saving this post to remind me that it’s okay to make space and to celebrate even the small things rather than feeling like work has to feel like work.

Anaïs Teresa Bock

Glad you like them, Lacy. And YES, it is also about redefining what work means and moving away from the protestant paradigm of suffering. Work does not have to be hard!

Thanks for your comment, Linda. Wishing you abundance!

Anaïs Teresa Bock

That is a great trick too. I stopped using the word “planning” when I prepare my weeks. I say skymapping instead. Ready to fly..!

I am glad you enjoyed the post. I totally agree that habits need to be cultivated. I have found that the more I celebrate, the more reasons I find to celebrate… 🙂

Growth Guided

Celebrate mini wins helps to create more momentum that is needed to accomplish the big wins we all strive for. By not passionately embracing successes in life we negate our hard work and worthiness. It’s no wonder we seem to give up on projects so easily, we lack the self pat on the back and encouragement of others after breaking through barriers.

Nicole/TheMadlabPost

I tend to celebrate accomplishments by eating cupcakes and other goodies. Unfortunately, I sometimes also use those things to wallow in my sorrows, so I have to find another “celebration” mechanism that doesn’t pack on the pounds so much, lol. I like your idea of developing and sticking to a routine. I’ve done the former part several times over…it’s the latter that I can’t seem to get a handle on.

Luca Samson

That was a nice little post haha

I also love planning my day ahead and it is one of the reasons that I am able to accomplish all my tasks and have free time at the end to hang out with my friends.

I’m going to implement some of you steps for the next few weeks and see how they go!
Thanks

Anaïs Teresa Bock

Hey Luca, I am glad you liked it. Do let me know how it goes 🙂

Anaïs Teresa Bock

I totally agree! Once we allow ourselves to celebrate our mini succeses a half-hearted self-pat becomes more like a self-monster hug! As a result, I find that we depend less on the encouragement of others.

Anaïs Teresa Bock

You are welcome, Joan. Often simplifying and planning to do less results in more, both quantity and meaning. Have fun with it!

Janice

When I first started reading this it was as if I’d written it myself! I experienced the same “to do list trap” when I started my own company five years ago. Way too many times I’ve startled myself awake in the middle of the night (as if someone had literally shaken me) with the thought of all the things I hadn’t gotten done…. I’ve recently started a daily gratitude ritual which has been a huge step toward stress reduction and now I’m looking forward to incorporating your other steps. I especially like #5 – three priorities per day sounds very realistic and do-able and will give me that wonderful satisfaction of crossing things off my list 🙂 Thank you!!

Nicola Byrne

Great points – thank you.

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iUnplug

I really liked your post and all six resonated with me. Number 5 really hit home.
Thank you….

Growth Guided

That is the hard part, knowing when you have a great thing going not to ask others validation, cause it is so easy to get discouraged from great things in life. I wrote about this today, tell me what you think.

http://www.growthguided.com/when-feeling-insignificant-focus-on-the-little-things/

Jennifer Garcia

I already do my 3 MITs (most important tasks) and have what I call 3 treasures (things I love to do, and are short, cheap and meaningful) but I often find that I don’t make time for the 3 treasures…attaching them to the MITs might help me….and give me something to look forward to.

Kristine

I struggle with my to-do lists and have also tried to memorize to-do lists in my head and that was a disaster! Having a small business, part-time job and taking art classes can be time consuming for a twenty-something who have yet to master time management. I’m going to try your approach and hope it helps me to reach my goals and stay in the present. But I do know when I write out gratitude lists, I feel just as accomplished as finishing a to-do list and helps me see the “bigger picture.”

Suzanne

Thanks for sharing the different “To Do List” methods you have tried out. The most important (and hardest) in my opinion is #2 “Take Your Time.” It’s so tempting to turn my phone on and check my email first thing, but I’m so much happier, content, calm, and focused when I take my time.