âThree things you cannot recover in life: the word after itâs said, the moment after itâs missed, and the time after itâs gone.â ~Unknown
Do you meditate?
I do. I come from a Buddhist family, and meditation is like an heirloom to me.
I didnât start meditating until I was an adult. But when I did, I meditated diligently. From forming a meditation habit to getting the latest meditation app, Iâve done it all.
And one day I got a little worried.
I didnât feel much difference. I didnât feel calm and peaceful like I was supposed to feel.
In fact, I didnât feel anything.
Nothing has changed. I was still the irritable, depressed person that I was. Meditation felt like a waste of time.
Later, I was shocked to discover how many mistakes I was making.
I want you to avoid these mistakes so that you can meditate efficiently without wasting your time as well.
1. You donât embrace distractions.
I used to hate distraction. Iâd use earplugs, lock my door, and yell at everybody to shut up before I meditated.
By all means, minimize distraction. But realize no matter what you do, somethingâs going to bother you. If youâre like me, you become more irritated each time you get distracted or interrupted. This is counterproductive.
The whole point of meditation is to observe distractions as they occur, and not to be carried away by them. Embracing distraction is part of the practice. When you do, youâll feel much more laid back, and everything else will fall into place.
2. You only meditate with external aids.
When meditation was popularized, meditation apps, meditation music, and guided meditation also became a fad.
These external aids direct your thoughts and get you relaxed and concentrated. If you have difficulty meditating traditionally, theyâre certainly viable alternatives.
However, a big part of meditation is facing your inner thoughts on your own. This cultivates insight and wisdom. If your thoughts are being guided externally, youâll miss out on an opportunity to self-realization.
If you want your practice to be well-rounded, you should devote some time to meditate with only your mind and body, even if you do enjoy using apps or guided meditations.
3. You seek escape in meditation.
I used to abuse meditation to suppress my strong negative feelings. As long as I concentrated only on my breath, I could stop myself from thinking about my problems.
But then I learned that focus isnât a hammer of suppression; itâs a ray of light. The light of your meditative awareness will bring up your problems in the form of thoughts. Itâs your job to face and neutralize them in the process.
When strong feelings emerge, put your awareness on those feelings before returning to your focus. Otherwise, you would be suppressing your emotions to the detriment of your mental health.
Observe the feeling, let it grow, and itâll naturally dissolve.
4. Youâre doing the wrong meditation for your body type.
If you feel physically or mentally uncomfortable while meditating, you may be doing the wrong meditation.
I have a slight nose condition. Sometimes I wouldnât be able to breathe comfortably through my nose. At those times, meditation became torturous because I would strain my tracheal muscle badly afterward. I decided to drop breathing meditation soon after.
Meditation is not a battle. Fighting discomfort is neither healthy nor helpful. Thereâs no reason why meditation shouldnât be comfortable. Stop doing your current meditation if youâre in a similar situation.
5. You donât try out other types of meditation.
No one meditation technique is superior to one another. For example, most of us meditate to cultivate mindfulness. Breathing is not the only way to do so. Many meditation techniques can achieve the same purpose.
There are mantra meditations, visualization meditations, walking meditations, contemplation meditations, as well as various schools of Vipassana meditations for you to choose from.
After I dropped breathing meditation, I tried many other techniques and finally settled on mantra meditation. It felt much more natural to me.
Learn different techniques from credible teachers. Try out the ones that appeal to you.
If youâre already content with your current meditation, great. But remember you always have the option to explore different meditations. Maybe youâll find one that you love even more.
6. You donât stick with one meditation technique for long enough.
While you should explore different techniques, avoid switching around all the time.
If you do, you wouldnât be familiar enough with a technique, and there wonât be enough time for its benefits to come to fruition.
Practice a technique until you know it inside out before you determine whether you should move on or not.
The exception here is that if a meditation clearly makes you physically or mentally uncomfortable, you should stop right away.
7. You have unrealistic goals.
I used to meditate to reach âenlightenment.â Needless to say, I didnât get there.
And I thought it would make me at least a tad calmer, or give me some obvious health benefits. I didnât get both.
I was expecting too much. And it drove me crazy.
Donât expect too much, and donât expect anything too soon. Meditation is not the magic cure that could banish all your stress and turn you into an enlightened being in just a few days, months, or even years.
Remember, the masters meditated day and night for decades to reach where they are.
Unrealistic expectations prevent you from focusing on your practice. When you have high expectations, you focus on results instead of the process. This is counterproductive, as it takes away the present moment awareness that meditation offers.
Whenever I find myself expecting, I remind myself that Iâm not trying to get anything from meditation. As I do so, the practice becomes much more enjoyable. And in the end, by releasing my expectations, meditation does make me more peaceful.
8. You never learned how to meditate.
If you donât study meditation thoroughly, you wonât be able to discover your own mistakes. And if you continue your practice with these mistakes, youâll waste your precious time at best and injure yourself mentally or physically at worst.
Read a wide variety of books on meditation, watch videos and listen to lectures by different teachers, join a meditation forum online or social group in person. Expand your knowledge constantly. Use that knowledge to improve your practice regularly.
If you can afford it, itâs best to learn from a trustworthy and reputable teacher. A good teacher will not only guide you through advanced meditations safely, they will also help you save a lot of time and avoid most mistakes from the outset.
Guidance from a teacher is necessary if youâre interested in meditations using mantras or visualization. Some of these meditations are potentially dangerous to your mental health.
Until you can get a teacher or become knowledgeable enough, stick with basic meditations. Avoid visualizations, contemplations, and esoteric mantras you donât understand.
Meditation Has Never Felt So Good
Now that you know what to avoid in meditation, youâll able to make much more progress than I have in a much shorter time.
With this knowledge in mind, identify your mistakes and correct them.
Then meditation will no longer feel like a chore. Youâll actually want to sit down and meditate. Not because you think you should, but because it feels so good. And you can be assured that no matter what happens during the session, youâll remain peaceful, calm, and happy.
Yes, it is possible.
So get to work, and let a whole new journey begin.
About Blon Lee
Blon Lee is a Chinese Buddhist who helps people transform suffering into joy with Buddhist wisdom. Download his free guide: Buddhist Meditation Ultimate Guide: A Step-By-Step Guide to Finding True Inner Peace.