“I care not what others think of what I do, but I care very much about what I think of what I do! That is character!” ~Theodore Roosevelt
I’m currently doing the whole “quit my job to pursue a dream” thing. I left the security and stability of having a salary along with a supposed career.
Back then, I didn’t really know what I was doing. I had no experience in blogging, plus I didn’t exactly have the confidence to market and start running a business.
Sounds crazy, right?
You can imagine the reaction I got from my friends and family. The support was next to nothing, and people generally never understood what I was doing—what I was trying to do.
Does this sound familiar?
You may not have done something huge, like make a career shift, but perhaps you’ve offered a different opinion and everyone just disagreed.
You would have expected more from your loved ones. I know how disheartening that can be.
You expect support and encouragement from people you consider close to you only to be completely rejected, criticized, or worse, laughed at.
It can be really hard to swallow all the “noise” around you.
I was taken by surprise by some of the things I heard from friends; some of the comments were particularly hurtful.
I think it boils down to learning how to not care so much about what others think, and also, conversely, understanding what goes on in their minds.
I’ve come up with a little guide of reminders that I hope can help you keep going if you feel alone.
1. Your passion is a priority.
A lot of people go through the motions in life, not doing what they love. They end up constantly looking back, asking themselves, “What if?”
Whether people support you or not, do you really want to look back in regret one day down the line? To not know what could have happened if you tried to do what you really wanted to do?
This love of yours is one of the most important things in your life. Follow your heart, and not the words of others just to live up to their expectations.
2. Life is short.
It may be a little disheartening to have people around you discourage you, but remember, life is short.
Do you really want to spend your time feeling down over others’ words when they’re completely unwarranted, baseless, and probably not making any kind of sense?
Do you really want to pull back on following your dream or doing what you want because of others, and start living a life that probably doesn’t fulfill your potential?
Remember that life is short, and it will be easier to stick to your own convictions when other people disagree with your choices or put you down.
3. Others may not fully understand.
People who don’t support you and discourage you may not actually be bad people who intentionally want to destroy your dreams.
Sometimes they just don’t understand why you do what you do, so they voice out their concerns, which may make them seem dissenting.
I personally try not to take it to heart when people discourage me. I see it as they need a little education and explanation. Or sometimes, I just ignore them.
If anything, since they don’t fully understand, I don’t see why it’s something to be upset over.
4. Sometimes others are insecure.
Sometimes when people don’t support what you’re doing, it may be more about them than you.
It could be plain ignorance or even jealousy, but some people tend to attack things that are new to them.
So again, don’t take their words to heart. If their criticism isn’t constructive in any way, they may be discouraging you because of their own fears and insecurities.
5. Anything is possible.
Nobody can predict the future for certain.
The people who don’t support you might paint a gloomy picture of what’s to come if you do what you want to do.
You don’t know the future either, but do you want to listen to others instead of believing in yourself?
Don’t let objections from others become your truth and limit you from creating what you want in life.
Anything is possible if you believe in yourself and work hard.
6. You can do this without their support.
It’s natural to want support and encouragement from the people around you, but it is possible to do what you want to do without it.
Just think of how many successful, inspiring people took the road less traveled.
You’re a very powerful being, just by yourself. Believe in that, don’t give up, and you’ll go a long way, whichever road you take.
7. You can’t please everyone in life.
You can’t. It’s impossible. And a lot of people forget that.
If you try to please everyone, it’s going to be next to impossible. So don’t bother. Keep your focus on what you want to do and why.
In an ideal world, we could constantly surround ourselves with positivity. We can’t do that, but we can work on ourselves so that we stay committed and positive.
Are you surrounded by naysayers? How have you dealt with this?
About Alden Tan
Alden Tan writes about honest and real stories at his blog. He's both a passionate writer and Bboy. Check out his free book, 12 Things Happy People Don't Give A **** About!
Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 
This is SUCH a wonderful post that rings so true!!! I could totally relate to all that you were saying. I had a similar bout a couple of years back when I wanted to quit a well paying software job because “it wasn’t feeling right”. From the outside, i had everything–a great office close to home, lovely colleagues, excellent work timings with hardly any stress/pressure, “dignified” post/role @@ work–it was a dream come true for many! But I wasn’t happy. the job content was not utilizing my potential to the fullest and the main problem was I didn’t know where else I wanted to be!!! But I wanted to quit this job since I knew it was sucking the joy outta my system…
My family, which has been my greatest support through everything, all my life, was appalled when I told them. This was more because I had no clue where my interests lie. My father told me, “See, if you wanna quit and go into something as wacky as film direction, I’m ok with that, but since you dunno what to channel your talents in, why don’t you stay in this job, find what you truly want, and then shift?” Of course, it makes perfect sense like most of the things he says all the time 🙂 but I couldn’t pull through in that job any longer. i quit and went through one month of lack of support, lotsa fear, anxiety and stress over how the future’s gonna be like…
Soon, after a little bit of introspection and with ample help from a good friend, I realized I could get paid for what I love doing – reading books! And, right now, its been 2.5 years since I joined as an editor in a leading MNC in my city! I’m happy, my parents are super jubilant too 🙂
One thing I’d like to add onto your list is:
8. Remember, its bound to get better soon! 🙂 and in the end, it’ll be totally worth it!
Thanks again for this wonderful post, Alden!
So true!
Unfortunately.
These are things that can make you loose faith in a lot of aspects – ultimately in humanity and life itself.
My way of dealing with it, to avoid becoming a bitter old bastard, is to try to understand WHY the persons (or Furries) react the way they do. As stated in the post it is ALWAYS something within them that triggers or explains the result.
Sometimes it is actually out of a misdirected attempt to protect YOU from hurt and failure (often done by parents).
Great, great and inspiring post!
Enjoyed this article. The interesting thing is that often, the naysayers will dish out advice even though they don’t have any real experience with the subject matter. Most people mean well – I thank them for their advice but remember that just because they couldn’t succeed at something, doesn’t mean I won’t succeed.
Great piece!!! I also recently left one career to follow my calling to develop a music ministry with only the belief that I had to do this. I am blessed to have the support of friends and families, even my former coworkers, although I know some may be confused by my methods, which don’t fit old paradigms on ‘paths to success’. But I have more faith in myself and God than I do in anyone’s opinions, including the occasional fear that may arise (which remind me how to be patient and to remain trusting and faithful).
I’m currently going through this myself where I’ve come at a crossroads in terms of what to do career wise. I have a stress free job with good hours, decent pay and also close by but I also feel depressed. I dread going into work everyday and I also feel that it’s draining me.
Originally I wanted to quit here and apply for something better paying but I realized that wouldn’t make a difference. It’s the same type of office setting which is very mundane and routine. It wasn’t until I met someone who now as a friend, has showed me that it’s possible to make your dreams come true. Their optimism wotj their life and how they’ve pursued their passion became very inspiring for me.
I decided then and there to pursue mine: pursue my passion for art and teaching. I’ve become very happy since I’ve started painting and drawing again. I haven’t had a creative outlet in so long. Slowly over time I want to build my name as an artist and host my own exhibition, collaborate with other artists…use my art to beautify the world And inspire others. My other passion is teaching. I enjoy teaching others and making that small difference in peoples lives. I’m pursuing my own tutoring business as well.
If all I ever wanted was the money then I could stick it out with this job and move up in the company. I wasn’t happy and I felt lost and drained, even depressed. Choosing a path that allows me to make a difference and pursue my passions has made me feel happier again and I feel that I’m living, enjoying life and its little things. I’m thankful to meet that one person who inspired me to follow my heart and follow my dream, and that it is possible. I’m also thankful to have the love and support of my parents, for not putting me down and allowing me to pursue a path, which to most people, doesn’t seem practical and secure.
Hey Tammi,
I know right? I had a lot of flak on my current relationship and it amused me that people think they were qualified to give out advice.
Glad you see it that way :). You can succeed. Nothing else matters.
That’s awesome Navy.
It’s great you already know your passions. Some people don’t even know.
Passion is inspiring, for yourself, your life and those around you. Great to know that your parents are there for you. The support of those around you would help a lot too.
That’s why successful people emphasize surrounding yourself with positive people.
“More faith in myself”.
You nailed it!
Other’s opinions don’t matter 🙂
Thanks Furries,
Yeah finding the underlying issue and intent of what they say matters too. Sometimes it ain’t all that bad 🙂
Thanks Dochy!
Awesome! Reading books and being paid for it. THAT’s the bigger dream.
But hey, think about it, it was probably the fear, anxiety and stress which brought you all to where you are now. And the universe is never wrong.
And all you did was try.
It takes courage to become who you really are 🙂 Thanks for this great article.
eh, so so article. i appreciated the spirit in which its given but disagree but many of the specifics. anything is not possible, in fact most things are highly improbable or so improbable as to be effectively zero. however, everything does not need to be possible in order for your hopes and aspirations to be probable.
most the other portions are nicely stated. and i do appreciate the general theme of self referential self reliance
This article really rings true with me. Thanks so much for posting it. I quit the 9-5 of a job I was uninspired by, unmotivated in and generally ungrateful for, because it was so far removed from my passion. I decided to go back to uni and get my teaching qualification which was the best decision I ever made as so many doors were opened up for me along the way in regards to other passions of mine. As a result of choosing to follow my heart I now get to enjoy teaching plus I work as a professional singer and also have my own vocal coaching business, something that would probably not have been possible had I been still doing my old job. I’m inspired to write now (another passion of mine) and a few books planned which I can’t wait to get started on. All of my family and the majority of my friends have been so supportive, but there have been friends who have made unsupportive comments (some insinuating that I’m just lazy) which at first really used to make me feel I had perhaps chosen a wrong path. Now, after some time reflecting, and on reading articles such as yours, I totally know that I made the right decision and that I don’t need to take any unhelpful comments to heart. You are right, many people try to dissuade others from a path that they wish to travel but fear that they can’t, perhaps through insecurities or jealously, and it’s useful to understand this so that they voices do not become your own limited beliefs. Thanks, Alden for reminding me of this!! 🙂
😀 your story is so like mine! Good for you for following your true passions. There is nothing quite like it, is there?!
You say “I’m also thankful to have the love and support of my parents, for not putting me down and allowing me to pursue a path, which to most people, doesn’t seem practical and secure.” This is exactly how I want to raise my daughter – your parents sound ace and this is so the type of parenting that we need in this world. My parents are the same and I think it makes a big diff!
All the best with your new career 🙂
Amen Alden.
A great reminder that not everyone is waving the flag for you when you decide to flex your creative muscles and choose the improbable or impractical path that deviates from “conventional wisdom”. That brings up a lot of fear in people when they see you doing what they wish they had the courage to pursue.
I just turned 50 with a family and a mortgage in New York city and am in the process of pivoting from the daygig blues to blogging and helping others unearth their own unique stories and live their passion. Trust me, the silence can be deafening sometimes from your support network. But in that silence you can find your strength of conviction that the dream is worth it and so are you.
Thanks for this.
Mark
go Alden
Inspiring! Thank you kindly!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PEQxEJ5_5zA
That is all.
No prob Joice!
Already got hooked at “Own kind”.
No prob Courtney!
Thanks Stephen!
Hey Mark,
Love it! Your story is already awesome. The silence is deafening sometimes indeed, but hang in there! It won’t be silence when you grow even older when you look back. It will all be colourful memories.
No prob Polly Peace!
I get flak all the time, from what I do (blogging) and having a relationship with someone overseas.
It used to bother me a little, but meh, after awhile it amused me that these people, who are clearly unhappy too like to talk too much.
Love your story. Unique talents indeed 🙂
No prob David! Thanks for dropping by!
Alden, thank you for the wonderful post. I really needed to hear your 7 tips today. I’ve been involved in many creative endeavors in my career and am currently unsure of where I am and want to be creatively.
Creative people are not easily understood by those who have a more analytical mind. We are passionate people who need to follow our dreams in order to feel fulfilled. #7 pretty much says it all…you can’t please everyone in life and at some point you have to stop trying. If you haven’t pleased yourself, what have you really accomplished?
All the best to you my friend…
Craig
Fantastic list!!! Thank you for sharing this insight 🙂
Great post and just what I need to read at this point in my life. I started a new blog in February, but didn’t really publicize it to friends and family until last week. I have gotten a lot of positive feedback from people, but there are certain people I haven’t heard from which surprised me. I try not to take it personally and just keep plugging away. Kudos to you for following your dreams!
I am exactly in the same situation. Quitting my job on a month’s time in order to pursue my dreams. I don’t know what result will be, but what I know are 2 things- I don;t want to be in my current job and to give my 100% in my upcoming exams- gateway to my dreams. Thanks for sharing your experience !!!
This post gave me the right inspiration at right time which I was looking for! Thanks a lot! 🙂
Hey Craig!
Glad it helped. Nice! I know right, creative people really do think a different way, which I think is really cool 🙂
Np!
Nice Dawn!
Yeah as long as you’re not aiming to be controversial, it’ll be all good with a blog.
Nice Arushi! What’s your dream?
Glad to hear Sharma!
These seven tips are very helpful. I realize when people question someone else’s decisions, they really are thinking about their own insecurity and limitations. They have never been through what you are experiencing so a lot of questions come up (why are you doing this? what will you do for money? what will people think?) as well as their expectations of possible failure (what makes you think you can do this? what will you do afterward? I don’t think you can do it). I made a couple of major life-changing decisions that I’m happy about because I did it for myself, and it brought me to where I am today and I am very happy. Now, I have much smaller goals that are just as important to me and not easy for people to understand why I’m doing it. My husband is the most supportive person I have ever known, and because he sees how passionate and determined I can be, he will support me all the way!
Alden I loved this post and it serves as a wonderful reminder.
I gave up employment for self-employment in 2000 and a few people thought I’d gone mad! The majority were simply worried and concerned for me as employment is the norm.
Someone once said to me that if you do, or don’t do, something because you’re worrying about what others will think, then they are in control of your life.
Thanks for your insight.
Very inspiring article. I am also in the same boat but I don’t know what my passion is???
Hi Alden, this post was really meaningful and put some perspective into things for me. While my situation is different, I saw many parallels in your article. People constantly question me about decisions with regards to my relationship with a treasured person in my life, though I told myself what I did was ultimately the responsible thing to do. Sometimes I eventually cave in and begin to believe what others say and it gets awfully confusing at times. Thank you for this article, it really helped alot.
I must add one thing: Sad as it is, often, when you undertake something huge, everyone will oppose you. If you fail, they say “Told you so.” But if you SUCCEED, then everyone will praise you, as if they really believed in you all along. It’s not pretty, but it’s true.
This article is great confidence fuel to continue what it is that I am doing with my life despite the lack of support from the most important figure in my life. I have held back and tried to follow a safe route when I really wanted to go off the beaten path and explore all there is to life. I have strayed a little but never fully committed.
Well, now I’m off the path hacking my own trail slowly learning to balance on my own without the support I thought I desperately needed.
I’ve learned that As time passes we gain more confidence in trusting ourselves so when moments without support arise we can stand steady and continue on our way.
Thanks for your wisdom
thank you
I have gone through the ringer so to speak the past few years. Moved out at 18 went to college had a few jobs couldn’t find my niche but manged to land some pretty great jobs. Now 24 going on 25 and I moved back home this year after two deaths in my family I have two younger sisters 19 and 20. I being the oldest and coming back home have my own dreams but I am constantly not good enough. The only one who will pitch in around the house , etc. I go to bed crying numerous nights a week knowing I do so much and it’s never good enough but the other two do nothing and are still shining stars. I am at witts end!! I don’t want to cut off contact with my family nor should I have to move but I am concerned for my own well being ! I am constantly feeling crappy because of the negative moods in the house. It felt like the right thing to do after the deaths in my family to move home but I’m so torn ? I am more than appreciative of everything that was done for me when I was little and I show tons and tons of support , help around the house , errands , etc. this article was enlightening but I’m still torn as to how I should feel. Does anyone else go through this ????? Thank you for your insight !!!!!
Nice topic 🙂
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I’m 25 and still living at home, my parents keep banging on at me to find a ‘career’ type job, but I just want to find a job that will make me happy. They try to control & manipulate me all the time, and I suffer from very low self confidence and self esteem because of them. I just want to live my life the way I want to, and not have them riding my back all the time.
Thank you for this article, I have a business idea and eveyone around me is being so negative towards it 🙁 this has really helped me significantly, again thank you so much.
Alden Tan, I don’t think break dancing is good for you. Stop wasting your time on this endeavor. I absolutely don’t support you in this.
Thank you. You have a great site here filled with wise and comforting tidbits. I have visited the site more than once. Keep up the good work.
I’m glad to find this article to start me off somewhere. its difficult to find the right career but i want to be successful when i do and be happy. currently my family hasn’t supported me and I’ve been pushed away. I’m married but i don’t feel that I am of how my husband is. I’ve been put down and basically yelled at. My self esteem is real low. I’m using steps to improve my life and be around those that DOES care about me. I have a couple friends that are more supportive then my family but I live with those that are not. The family I live with and my mother to help out brings me down to the point I feel useless and not in control. My mom and husband worries about themselves and not once talk to me. I’m slowly pushing them away and might end up messy. I’m at a brick wall that I’m going to climb over very soon! This is only the beginning for my path to take in life. I can only do whats right for me and my future!
I’ve just quit my job today and I was so depressed because no one in my family know about it yet. I even went out with a good friend who thought I am still working. This decision brought the sense of being free to me but I feel very guilty for not being able to tell everyone I love about the truth. The thing is.. I like my job but I don’t fully enjoyed being there. I find myself forcing my mind, body and soul every morning to get up to go to work and being a very laid-back type of person.. I don’t like scheduled routine. I don’t like being in a box full of pressure. I just can’t. So I quit and I don’t regret it. I know what I want.. Although I do not know how to get it.. I know what I want. I am going to leave my country in 2014 to travel. I love adventures and I am not giving up on my dream. I don’t care if everyone I love do not understand this. I just need myself to understand me.