“What you do today is important because you are exchanging a day of your life for it.” ~Unknown
During the first week of July 2012, a storm left my little town and nearly one million other people in the Mid-Atlantic Region without electricity. The outage lasted eight days for Buffalo, Ohio, and we saw triple digits (F) each day.
I spent much of my free time in a hammock practicing my watching skills. I watched as I breathed in. I watched as I breathed out.
I watched thoughts pop up out of nowhere as I watched the leaves of two young oak trees dance in the hot, humid July breeze.
I think that week here in Ohio was as impactful as the 10-day Thich Nhat Hanh Retreat I experienced in October 2011.
It’s amazing to me the amount of perspective one can gain in such a short period of time.
The day the electricity was restored I decided to limit myself to just a few minutes on the Internet, which turned into an hour. I then returned to my hammock to watch my breath and my thoughts.
I wanted to make sure I understood the lessons of that week, and most of all I wanted to take with me the peace of mind I had rediscovered.
So, there I was—under those two trees listening to birds chirp in the absence of gas generators and watching my thoughts.
I brought with me a pen, a legal pad, and a few questions I thought would be helpful to answer before I plugged back in and continued to do what I do.
Question 1: What Brings Meaning to Your Experience?
As I asked this question to my “self,” I started to realize that my focus has been all over the place.
I have a long list of goals. I spent most of my life goofing off, and never thought I could do much of anything. Since I realized that I can do whatever I decide, setting and achieving goals has been fun for me.
After spending enough time asking this question, I realized that I have three major goals and a list of desired outcomes based on me reaching those goals.
This realization has narrowed my focus a great deal.
What brings meaning to your experience?
Question 2: How Do You Spend/Invest/Leverage Your Time?
Now that I have an idea of what is meaningful to me, it’s easy to look at my daily habits and see where it is I am being mindful of my use of time.
I love me some Facebook, but is it really helping me develop my primary goal—being calm, peaceful, and loving—or is it falsely fulfilling my “need” to feel connected?
I quickly realized I am better off by scheduling social network time as I do appointments. It’s actually been more effective in connecting with people.
This question is proving to be very valuable to me daily, and has morphed into “Is this the best use of your time and energy?”
Question 3: How Do You Feel?
A lot of my research lately has been focused on the limbic system. I’ve been studying stress hormones and breathing techniques that will bring the system (mind/body) back to a state of calm being.
I ask this question each morning and the answer greatly determines how the rest of my day goes.
My primary goal in life is to be calm, kind, and loving. All of the other goals I have listed are things I’d like to do or things/experiences I’d like to have. If I’m feeling a little anxiety when I wake up, my best course of action is to get myself relaxed and calm.
Make sure you ask this question before any coffee. This leads to the next question.
Question 4: What If You Die Tomorrow?
This question actually morphs into a few more.
If you die tomorrow do they know you loved them?
If you die tomorrow are all your apologies said?
If you die tomorrow do you take any forgiveness with you?
If you die tomorrow did you do something today that was meaningful?
Many things in my life are meaningful to me.
On my last day on this planet I hope to wake up and write, eat a variety of fruits, nuts, and oats for breakfast, take a nap, hug 20 people, paddle on my standup paddle board, catch a wave or a wake, tell some people I love them, make love, and enjoy a nice cup of tea.
What if you die tomorrow?
Question 5: How Can You Brighten Somebody’s Experience Today?
Hugs are proven to produce a sense of well-being in both people. Smiles are contagious. Sometimes a kind word from a stranger makes the difference in a person’s day.
It’s so easy to allow our attention to spin out. Most of us are overstimulated, overcommitted, and overly concerned with getting more stuff.
A lot of people have their eyes fixated on the tiny screen of their smartphones. They answer texts and update Facebook while they are in the company of loved ones. The world passes them by as they scroll through so called newsfeeds.
I rarely take my phone out of my house. I know that the ease of access will have me staring into the abyss trying to fulfill that sense of connection while missing the chance to connect in person.
Whose day can you brighten today?
Question 6: What Choices Can You Make Differently?
My brain is programmed to recognize every stupid thing I do, and I still do some pretty stupid things. I recognize them, and do my best to change my behaviors. Some habits seemingly take longer to adjust.
The main reason I haven’t shaved my head and gone to devote myself to mindful meditation at some Thich Nhat Hanh Monastery is that I really think I gain more from the challenge of living a regular guy’s life mindfully.
I think sometimes conflict brings resolution. I’ve learned more about myself through dealing with people I don’t particularly like than I have from my time on the yoga mat or the meditation pillow.
I recognize myself in all that I see. So, I ask myself this question so that I am able to see more and more beauty each day.
What choices can you make differently today?
Question 7: What Can You Give Today?
I spend very little of time trading hours for dollars. I’ve reduced my expenses and lifestyle to afford me the time to work on me, and to write.
As my marketing of books and services takes hold I’ll have more money to give; but for now I have so much more than money can buy.
I have an able body and some helping hands. I have two ears to listen, two arms to embrace, and a mind full of useful information.
I have an endless supply of encouragement when I see people on a mission, and an infinite supply of love when I spend the time to clear.
I have a great smile, which I sometimes forget to show. I’m witty, goofy, and geeky enough to give the gift of laughter.
I really have all that I need in life and so much more.
What can you give today? And what important questions would you add to the mix?
Note: Tim has offered to give away 5 autographed copies of his book It’s All About Me: A Soul Surfer’s Guide to Happiness. Leave a comment on the post for a chance to win! You can enter until midnight on Friday, August 31st. (You can access the PDF version for free on Tim’s site here.)
UPDATE: The winners for this giveaway have already been chosen. Subscribe to Tiny Buddha for free daily or weekly emails and to learn about future giveaways!
Photo by Gane

About Tim McAuley
Tim McAuley’s debut book It’s All About Me! Illustrates that we each have the power to live a lifealigned with harmony, happiness, and love; he freely shares his book, a 6 week video tutorial and weekly tips, to learn to ride the metaphoric waves of life at soulsurferschool.com.
My question – How can I best not judge? I try to always mindful of judging others because I know that when others tell me why I am doing or saying something they are nearly always wrong. I have no reason to think I am any better at guessing the reasons why other people do or say things.
Responding in the way most helpful to the other person tends to improve their connection with me while providing me with the most personal satisfaction and happiness. Responding to percieved meaness or anger with more of the same degrades the personal connection and provides no sense of satisfaction.
“My primary goal is to be calm, kind & loving”…….love that!
My challenge is to use technology in a positive way rather than losing myself in it. I have been fortunate to have met so many wonderful people through a lot of travel, and things like Facebook and email help me stay in touch, but one minute leads to ten which leads to hours. Thanks for the well-timed post.
This is a wonderful post. Your questions really spoke to me, especially questions, 1, 2, and 6. Like you, I also have many goals and things I want to do with my life. I think you were right to focus on the ones that bring the most meaning to your life, and then have fun pursuing (perhaps smaller) goals that also bring joy. I also very much agree with your points regarding thinking critically about how one’s time is spent, and dealing with daily challenges in a mindful and constructive way. Sometimes I too would like to join a (looooooong) spiritual retreat to ‘get away from it all’, but then what would I be learning about myself and others? Learning about the world around us is one of life’s most precious challenges, tasks, – and also gifts. Thanks again for this wonderful article, and for sharing your wisdom and experiences here. With Metta, Renata 🙂
I love the way you describe having an able body and two helping hands. Ears to listen, arms to embrace and a mind with useful information. Encouragement, love and a great smile.
What an awesome approach to life.
Love your post it is inspiring to say the least.
What a unique piece. I love your questions – especially 4,5 and 6. We are so missing the chance to connect in person, as you say. It’s so sad that as our technology sky-rockets, our humanness seems to diminish. We’ve got to live more consciously of this since clearly our advances are not going away or lessening. It’s up to us as the human species to create that good yin-yang and not forget that no matter what, we the people count the most. That’s where the love and connectedness begins, remains and ends.
What brings meaning to your experience? I am going to set this as my intention. I am currently working on taking a passion and brining it to the next level. I need to focus on the steps to do that and do them one at a time. One-at-a-time. This will allow my focus to remain calm and head me in the right direction.
A wonderful post and another example for me of how to make the best of a bad situation. I have friends in Ohio that went through the same storms and power outages you did and they inspired me with their ability to get through a really tough time. Here in NE Wisconsin, we “only” got into the upper-90’s and when I heard people complaining, I couldn’t help but think, “but we have electricity and water! Don’t take these things for granted!” Every time I was tempted to complain, I focused all of my energies on all of you, hoping that things would work themselves out quickly.
Thanks for brightening my experience today!
Hi Tim,
Good perspective. I especially enjoyed this line “I’ve learned more about myself through dealing with people I don’t particularly like than I have from my time on the yoga mat or the meditation pillow”.
I think of ‘those people’ as emery boards or grinders, roughing us up – end result – turning us into gemstones! If you look at it from that analogy it makes perfect sense!
Laura
Loved the suggestions and perspective in your post!
“Whose day can you brighten today?” – this one’s pretty important, I think. Nice post, thanks!
That’s an awesome question; and great insight! I’ve had to work very hard at the getting my inner judge to be a loving man….ok, still working on it a little bit! 😉
Have you studied anything on Neuroscience. That judgement part us may just be part of the limbic system! What has been working for me is to remind myself in the morning what my values are….kind, loving, caring, supportive and when the judge kicks in….I can look at it and realize that’s just my brain sending up a signal.
I get to choose if I give my attention to those thoughts.
Thank YOU! Big internet hug to you!
My challenge too! Hi I’m Tim….I’m a facebook Junkie.
I’ve learned to set a time chunk for just about everything I do. Once the timer goes off I have a few minutes to wrap it up. Keeps me focused and intentional…productivity has been raised to a whole new level!
Thanks for connecting with me!
Much Metta to You Renata!
I’m learning that life itself is a spiritual retreat or a living hell…..my choice! 😉
Thanks Fiona C! It took a while to for me to come to grips with all of that….until early 2000s I could stand to look in the mirror! Your comment is much appreciated.
very cool Jeg! Next level is a great level! I’m cheering for you!
Kathi, I love your perspective! thanks for sharing it. My dad moved in with me last year and he gets a kick out the way I talk to the faucet and water filter. Once a week I say “HOLY CRAP! I can turn this thing right here and out comes fresh clean drinking water! DUDE this is amazing!”
Diamonds were once coal put under intense pressure…and the most beautiful flowers on this planet grew from a big pile of S…. (oh, wait this is Lori’s website…keepin it clean! 😉
GREAT blog with wonderful questions to ponder, thank you for sharing your experience and wisdom!!! 🙂
Thank you so much Tiela!
well, you can check me off your list Anita!
That one is the one I overlook most often. I forget when I’m in a store that the cashier may need a smile, my attention or even a hug. Sometimes my brain is just too busy trying to take over the world to allow for the natural flow of the present moment to emerge…..I’m working on kiddo….thanks for the encouragement and support!
Balance between virtual and real are necessary indeed. but I feel that the connection we get through tech is going to drive us into a better future.
We can connect and plan events in the real world with just a few key strokes. Share our journey and our thoughts with the world and hopefully by doing so we’re going to leave this a better place for future generations.
This is so beautiful and so poignant to me, particularly right now in my life. Thank you.
Thanks you for taking the time to comment and share.
And these comments fulfill my purpose! woo hooo!
big internet hug to you Briana! you’re changing the world!
And thank you for taking the time to comment and share! Much appreciated
Very cool! This makes me able to check “meaningful” off the list for the day.
Thanks Briana!
Thank you for this.
SO, as I reading this, I am in another online meeting…I teach online—Special Ed HS students, and yes, I ask myself, quite often,”How is this even possible”. Some days I even wake up, and think” No Way”. But, a little Jack Johnson, some sunshine and a few words from my students and I know I chose this positionfor a reason. As a single mom, it gives me options —
Thanks for your article. Always a good reminder!
it’s my pleasure Tooley
Wow this is AWESOME! great questions!
Sometimes in life you find something that helps you to see things differently and today you have done that thank you :))
thanks PAT!
Great post! My question would be “who is the you present in the other
questions?” and does that definition of ‘you” (or “me”) make sense? We tend to invest so much time/energy into supporting/defending/propagating self-narratives that are seldom of our own conscious choosing. So often, we grow up into a sense of self that has little bearing on the greater reality of the universe.
Thank you! Just what I needed to read today.
thanks for inspiring me before going to bed… yet so simple things but hard to commit with these things in Life…
I love it, especially question 4, brings a lot of mindfulness…. thank you 🙂
Hi Tim,
you’ve got it!you’ve developed your own “secret” to a life well lived, and are sharing it with others.life is so wonderful living this way.this is truly freedom.
enjoy,linnaea
what a great idea to leave your phone at home thank you~
Charminkymaine…..you just brought a tear to my eyes! Thank you.
You my friend are very wise!
I’ve learned that the “ME” I’m talking too is mostly my brain.
I’m reading a great book right now that helps make the distinction between the false sense of self derived from the Neurons and Limbic System functions. It’s allowed me to further become the watcher of those thoughts and identify less with ME!
Awesome Comment and Question!
Ann. It’s an absolute pleasure to read this comment.
Thanks LORI for introducing me to so many wonderful people.
Fharjo…it becomes much easier with a daily practice of mindfulness, stillness and deep breaths. Combine that with some journal work and new ways of thinking will emerge! Promise
Thanks Patty! Glad I could be a helpful reminder.
Linnaea, Life is indeed a wonderful thing.
Glad to meet you!
Casey, that one tends to make people upset. They expect me to text them or answer the phone at the moment the want my attention, but it’s the only way I know how to go throughout checking FB, emails and twitter all day long.
I thought I already commented. I’m giving out 6th book now to you Christy!
Jack Johnson is a story and part of a metaphor I use throughout this book!
So, let Lori know where I could send the signed copy of the book! YOU WON!!!
I love your perspective in regards to taking in your surroundings and appreciating what you have at this very moment. I just lost two friends within the span of two weeks and I feel as though these words really spoke to me. It helped me to realize that we need to take time to appreciate those we love, our surroundings, our experiences, and ultimately ourselves. I am very glad that I read this today as I am currently experiencing a lot of sorrow in my heart. I now feel as though I should appreciate my empathy for others and my ability to think about my friends and smile because I am so fortunate to have them in my life.
I
if you don’t win Jessica I’ll gladly sign and send you a book.
Quite a few of my friends have passed since 2009. Dealing with death was the catalysts that made me decide to quit what I was doing and try my hand at writing. I didn’t want to live the rest of my life being anything other than a writer.
It was my dream when I was six years old, and I ignored it for 30 years.
SO it would be my honor to send a copy to you. May my stories continue to strike a chord that leads to gratitude and mindful loving of family and friends that are present in our lives.