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A 60-Second Practice That Will Help You Find Peace and Relaxation

“The present moment is filled with joy and happiness. If you are attentive, you will see it.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh 

A while back, someone very dear to me entered intensive care. He’s someone I’ve learned so much from, and yet never met. I’ve read dozens of his books, both listened to and watched countless lectures, as well as been inspired to study Zen because of him.

On Friday, November 14th, after suffering a brain hemorrhage, Thich Nhat Hanh, a Vietnamese Zen master and peace activist, went into a coma. For the past few weeks, Thay, as his students call him (teacher in Vietnamese), had visited the hospital on a few occasions due to a decline in his health.

At the age of eighty-eight, he’s lived a long and amazing life.

He’s considered one of the two foremost Buddhist teachers in the world, next to the Dalai Lama, and was nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize by Martin Luther King, Jr. himself. Now, he and his loving community must work to help heal the damage and hope that he can make a full recovery.

I was inspired to write something about Nhat Hanh, who helped me overcome my own anxiety when I was overwhelmed after the birth of my first son. I didn’t know how to pay rent and support my family, and closing in on thirty without having accomplished anything of value in my life, I felt like a failure who was quickly running out of time.

At Plum Village, Thich Nhat Hanh’s monastery in France, a bell sounds at various moments in the day. The bell is used to notify the monks, nuns, and other visitors of important events, such as the beginning of meditation sessions, lectures, and mealtime.

But it’s also used for another reason. Any time the bell sounds, literally every waking soul at Plum Village stops. They all just… stop. And in that moment, while the bell sounds, they practice mindful breathing.

Every monk, nun, and visitor breathes in with mindfulness and breathes out with mindfulness. This is the practice of “going home,” and it’s the practice of reuniting mind and body as one in order to find peace within ourselves.

The way most of us live our lives, we’re halfway in our heads, bouncing around in an endless stream of thoughts, and halfway in the present moment, only partially awake to what we’re doing.

This state of semi-consciousness, or mind dispersion, is a state where we’re unable to attain complete rest, our minds are perpetually clouded, we build up stress and anxiety, and we shut off our own source of creativity. In this state, we can never find peace or complete relaxation.

This semi-conscious state, or mind dispersion, is what the Buddha often referred to as our “monkey mind.”

Our monkey mind is constantly bouncing from one thought to another. We’re doing one thing (body) but thinking about another (mind).

You’re driving home from work while you’re thinking about work, and then bills, and then dinner, and then that dinner date with your old friend coming up, and then your daughter’s school project, and then whatever happened to your favorite band because they seemed to drop off the map, and then “When was that TV special again?”

Then you think about work again, oh and then that sounds good for dinner, and then you look in your overhead mirror and think, “I look tired today,” and then a Sit-And-Sleep commercial for some reason pops into your head and so you start thinking about how you really should get a new mattress soon, and then you think about home again and how the day is passing so quickly, and then…it never ends.

Mindfulness delicately brings the mind to rest and reunites body and mind as one force.

When you walk to work, you’re walking to work, and you’re enjoying the walk with all of your being. You’re not thinking about what’s for dinner or what you’ll say to your boss about that project when you get into the office while walking.

Your body is walking and your mind is at rest. When you drive home, you know you’re driving. You’re not letting yourself be distracted by the passing billboard advertisements or thinking about your overdue bills.

You’re truly enjoying the drive home in peace and quiet. When you’re sitting down to play with your children, you’re fully present for them, giving them your complete and undivided attention. When you live with mindfulness you’re able to truly appreciate the presence of your loved ones.

We can use the same principle of the bell used at Plum Village to find peace and relaxation in our everyday lives. By setting up simple alarm reminders on your phone or posting signs on the walls of your bedroom, restroom, or office, you can create your own “bell of mindfulness.”

Set an alarm.

Set an alarm to go off every hour, two hours, three hours, or whatever is comfortable for you. (I do once every hour.) Plan to just sit and be completely aware of your breathing for about one minute every time the alarm goes off. It’s just one minute, so it’s easy to fit it into your daily schedule.

Stop and breathe mindfully.

Every time the bell goes off, I imagine the bell sounding at Plum Village. No matter where I am, I transport myself to a place of peace and quiet.

When this bell sounds, everything stops. I don’t listen to the excuses I try to give myself about “Oh, let me just finish this one thing,” or, “I’ll get to that in just a minute,” I stop everything and just breathe mindfully.

No matter where I am, I stop. If I’m not comfortable, I immediately go somewhere that I am. Just breathe. Let this be your daily vacation time.

No matter where you are, for one minute every hour you’re transported to a place where you can find peace and tranquility. When you come back you’ll feel refreshed and ready to tackle anything.

Or, use signs.

Toward that same end, you can also post physical signs that you type or handwrite and place them on the wall of rooms you walk into every day, such as your restroom, kitchen, office, and even your car. You can write or draw whatever you want on it as long as it reminds you to be mindful during your daily life.

For instance, you could have a poster or sign that symbolizes breathing meditation in your bedroom that sits on the back of your door. This way, each time you walk out of your bedroom in the morning, you’re reminded to stop and breathe mindfully for a moment before exiting.

If you tend to rush around at the office and build up most of your stress and anxiety there, you can place one on the back of your office door or laminate and place a small one on the surface of your desk.

It doesn’t matter what you use, as long as it reminds you to be mindful throughout your day and helps you find peace and joy in the present moment. Use the bell of mindfulness to ground yourself to the present moment, and find peace and joy in each and every day.

About Matt Valentine

Matt Valentine is a father, husband, and a self-published author. He writes weekly on his blog, Buddhaimonia.com, about everything from spirituality to self-mastery. You can get his eBook, The Little Book of Mindfulness, free by joining his newsletter here.

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Jessica

Thank you for this post! This is just what I needed! 🙂

Halina Goldstein

Hi Matt,

Thanks for a beautiful post!

One thing that I notice (about not noticing…) is that most reminders (such as posters, sounds etc) feel great in the beginning – and then lose their impact and become more or less non-existing (even if physically they’re still there).

The only thing that has ever worked for me is the habit of simply being aware of how I feel. This never quire wears out – although there can still be multiple hours where I get so absorbed by something (work, typically) that I lose touch with how I feel otherwise. Any thoughts?

Thanks!

Kindly
Halina

Matt Valentine

Hi Halina,
Thank you, I’m glad you liked it!

I agree with you about reminders, they can just as easily become non-existent. In fact, I’ve experienced this myself before. But I believe the trick is in how much perceived value you get from the practice as well as the importance you place on the reminder itself.

If you prioritize the reminder above anything else that’s going on on in that moment, even if it’s just most of the time (100% of the time is impossible, let’s be honest), you’ll begin to see the value you get from it on a consistent basis. This will then further encourage you to keep it up. If the perceived value from the practice is low, you’ll have no reason to keep it going.

And in other cases, it will just be something you only do sometimes. And that’s OK too. As long as you’re working on becoming mindful throughout more and more of your day, it doesn’t matter what helps you develop the habit. There’s so many ways to do it. 🙂

Matt Valentine

Thanks Jessica, I’m happy it could be of help!

Jeevan/Mirthu/Gupt

This was beautiful…I loved the story & the practice of Mindful breathing at the Plum Village Monastery! Going to see if I can somehow incorporate a little bit of this 1 Minute breathing exercise into a daily practice… Thank you for sharing your story! If I ever travel to France, Plum Village Monastery is going into my top list of Must-See places. 🙂

Matt Valentine

Glad you liked it. 🙂

Same here, Definitely a must-see top 3 for me!

Peace Within

Reading Thich Nhat Hanh’s books has changed my life. He has a way with words that hits the soul. I hope he gets better soon. This was a beautiful post and very realistic. We have to learn how to give our minds a break! You’ve inspired me to take a minute every hour to practice mindfulness. Thank you =)

Matt Valentine

Happy to hear it! I agree, he definitely has a way with words.

Linda VanDeusen

Wow…you described me. I’m driving to work and I think of all the things I need to accomplish..which reminds me I still have some more schoolwork to do, then I remember stuff from what seems like another lifetime ago. Oh, and I need a vacation. Some place warm. And it’s going to snow tomorrow…wish we could have the day off…. You see where this goes! I would love to learn to turn it all off before I lose what’s left of my sanity.

helloimnik

Really wise post Matt – I was saddened to hear of Thich Nhat Hanh’s health declining. He’s a huge inspiration to me too. I recently started freelancing which has meant I don’t give myself enough time (as I’m thinking of ALL of the work things) – I’m going to start doing this! Thanks for sharing.

Matt Valentine

Right? By the time we reach adulthood we’re all that way naturally. There’s nothing we can do to stop it, but with a daily practice centered around mindfulness we can tame the monkey mind and, essentially, put ourselves back in control of ourselves.

Just remember that thoughts aren’t bad, and you should never try to stop them. The point is to:

1) Calm the mind – The crazy “100 thoughts per minute” state of mind isn’t your natural state, and very unhealthy, but thinking itself IS natural and shouldn’t be treated as bad. The idea here is you want to gain enough clarity so that you can observe your natural self, if you try to do this at first it will be impossible (too much craziness!). Then…

2) Become the silent observer of your own mind – Once your mind has calmed down, your job isn’t to eliminate all thinking, it’s to then simply observe yourself in your natural state. The clarity you gained from step one is what allows you to observe the process that goes on within your mind. Without step one you wouldn’t be able to advance to step two.

Step one already brings much peace, but step two allows you to really begin unearthing deep-seated beliefs and emotions that are holding you back. But I’m getting ahead of myself, that’s for another post. 🙂

Matt Valentine

Thanks for the kind words Nik! Good luck on your practice. 🙂

Halina Goldstein

Wow, this was an eye-opener – I never thought about it this way, and it makes total sense. Thanks a lot!

Matt Valentine

No problem!

Jeevan/Mirthu/Gupt

The way you were able to describe in such detail about the monastery and the inhabitants of the Plum Village, I thought you actually lived and/or visited there…:P. Btw, I was quite oblivious about the recent health struggles of Thich Nhat Hanh; Lets hope he gets well soon! He is been quite an inspiration for me as well.

Andy Nathan

Cool idea! Just installed the mindfulness app from Google Play.

Matt Valentine

Who knows, maybe in the future? 🙂

Thich Nhat Hanh hasn’t just inspired a generation to live in peace, he’s provided detailed instructions on how to do it and lives by example. You really can’t do better than that.

I plan to live each moment of my life expressing the same principles, and contributing my own unique gifts to the same pursuit.

Matt Valentine

Great! Perfect for anyone who works on a computer, and compliments this well.

Miffy

Mindfulness bell app for smart phone is great – it goes off randomly throughout the day. I love it. Love your post too. Thank you.

Andy Bailey

great idea! just installed it after reading this article. thanks Andy (and Miffy and Matt)

Matt Valentine

Thanks Miffy 🙂

Deborah Shouse

This is a beautifully written blog, with such a simple, yet profound reminder–Stop and breathe. I love your idea of setting a bell and training yourself to appreciate the moment.

Matt Valentine

Thanks Deborah! I’m glad you found it valuable. 🙂

Jessica Maybury

Reading Thich Nhat Hanh’s work has opened my life up so much in the past few years. Thanks for the beautiful article, it reminded me of something I had forgotten to be doing: breathing

Matt Valentine

Same here Jessica, few people have impacted my life as he has. I’m glad it could serve as a reminder!

Pamela

I didn’t even know there was one! So gonna check it out now! Thanks!

Andy Nathan

the app is so useful! It dings at certain times in the day, and I stop to take a breath.

Sameer

Hi Matt,

I experience monkey mind while driving, walking and even as I try to sleep. Off late – I started with chanting prayers and i chant prayers while I am driving, walking or moments before i go off to sleep. But Monkey Mind stills exists.

After going through your post – I realize – All that is required is to disconnect from the state you are in and breathing is one thing that we can do naturally in public / office (simpler that meditation)

Thanks for the blog and Happy Breathing to you and all the readers.

Sameer

Matt Valentine

Thank you Sameer, I’m so glad it’s helped. 🙂