“Your emotions are the slaves to your thoughts, and you are the slave to your emotions.” ~Elizabeth Gilbert
I felt zapped. Depleted. Drained. Out of gas. And I wasn’t sure why.
- Enough sleep? Check.
- Enough exercise? Check.
- Enough nutritious food and vitamins? Check.
- Health check-ups and tests up to date? Check and check.
- Reasonable schedule? Check.
I thought I felt this way because I’d recently had surgery to remove a sizeable tumor.
But that had gone smoothly, and I was fully recovered and back to my regular schedule.
However, there was one thing that I noticed since the surgery: I was angry and couldn’t seem to shake it. I don’t think I realized the grip it had on me until I started trying to figure out the source of my low energy.
I began to wonder if my anger and inability to let go of it could be the cause. I also wondered why I was so angry when the surgery and recovery had gone so well. I should have been happy that the tumor was benign.
I was in it, but not necessarily conscious of it and not realizing what it was doing to me. The best way to describe it would be an automatic emotional reaction coupled with a lack of awareness.
I had been zapped by my emotions!
How we manage and deal with our emotions affects our energy big time.
Here are four steps to process your emotions so they don’t zap your energy.
1. Be mindful and consciously aware of your emotions.
Before we can manage anything, we need to be aware of it instead of acting on autopilot. Awareness puts us in the driver’s seat and allows us to not only engage in the experience, but also decide how we want to respond to it. In this case, we need to realize how the energy of our emotions affects us.
I noticed that I had been low in energy, and by the process of elimination and observing my behavior, I realized I had been stuck in anger. I had been irritable, argumentative, and overreacting to the smallest things. Once I had observed my behavior, I acknowledged that anger was becoming my main emotional state.
The next time you catch yourself in an emotional experience, try to notice your behavior and identify the feeling behind it. This will give you insight and a new ability to manage it.
2. Identify what thoughts are triggering the emotions.
Once you’ve observed your behavior and identified the emotion that’s zapping your energy, you need to see what thoughts may be triggering it.
After I identified that I was stuck in anger, I kept thinking about the surgery and the events that led up to it. I had felt pain in my abdomen, so I went to the doctor and told her this.
She did a regular check-up and said there was nothing wrong. I was relieved to hear this, and went home and didn’t give it another thought—until I started feeling pain again.
I went back and told her that I felt pain and I was sure there was something wrong. It was a very strong intuitive feeling. This time she did a quick check and said, once again, “There is nothing wrong with you.”
I questioned her about the pain, but she rolled her eyes and said, “Ignore it. At a certain age everything starts to hurt.”
I asked if I should get a test or an ultrasound, but she said it wasn’t necessary, so, despite my intuition, I went home.
A few days later, I was in pain again and began to think it was my imagination, because a doctor that I trusted said, “Don’t worry; nothing is wrong.”
My intuition kept telling me I needed to get a second opinion. So I went to another doctor who immediately sent me for a test and quickly scheduled me for surgery after having found a tumor.
Having gone back through the events, I realized that the few days before the surgery I was livid about what had happened. What if it was cancer? I let precious months slip by because I didn’t listen to my intuition.
After the surgery, I was so focused on recovering that I guess I just put it out of my mind. After I recovered, the anger set in again, but it wasn’t until I started searching for the cause of my low energy that it started to make sense.
The thoughts running through my mind post-surgery were: Why didn’t she take me seriously? How dare she blow me off like that? Why didn’t I challenge her and insist on a test? All these thoughts were triggering anger. I was stuck in it, but not aware enough to figure it all out.
Always try to connect your thoughts to the emotion you’re expressing. In recognizing the thoughts, you’re able to address them to move through the emotion.
3. Lean into the emotion and learn from it.
When we suppress our emotions, we send that energy underground, with toxic effects.
Don’t suppress your emotions, but also don’t get caught in the energy of them. When we let our emotions hijack us, it’s like we’re on a runaway train. We are not in control. We may get addicted to the surge of emotion and get stuck in it.
This is what happened to me when I was angry after my surgery; my emotion dictated my behavior, which depleted my energy. When I acknowledged what was happening and leaned into the emotion, I was able to identify the problem instead of just suppressing it.
When we lean into an emotion, we can learn from it.
4. Respond proactively to the emotion and transition from it.
When an emotion lingers, we don’t have to get stuck in it.
Now when I feel a powerful surge of emotion that I think will hijack my energy and time, I take a deep breath. I then visualize a simple picture with the cause, the emotion I’m feeling, and the action I can take to shift out of it and deal with what caused my reaction.
For example, if something makes me angry, I visualize anger in a red circle with an arrow pointing to what caused it and another arrow pointing to the releasing action.
The releasing action usually has two parts: The first part deals with the energy shift. For example, if I’m angry about something, I absolutely have to fit in some form of exercise as soon as possible. Even if I don’t have time and it’s just twenty sit-ups or a quick walk. This releases the energy in a healthy way and clears my mind.
The second part deals with the cause and what action I can take to address it. In this instance, I promised myself I would always be my own advocate and insist on a test if I feel it is necessary.
Make this process a habit and it will have a great effect on your energy, happiness, and productivity.
You can only manage your emotions to the extent that you’re aware of them. Creating awareness gives you the chance to maximize and manage your experience. And by doing so, you can avoid getting stuck and depleting your most valuable resource: energy!
Have you ever felt like your energy was zapped by your emotions? What helped you move past it?
Photo by AlexanderStein

About Sheila McCann
Sheila McCann is the creator of the Rainbow Framework, a universal framework for life, love, wealth, and creativity. One look and you'll get life in a big way. Pop on over and get your free rainbow framework e-book and visual.
Oh you’ve actually managed to write my thoughts and behavior these
couple of months! I’ve drained my energy to the very bottom. A
couple of weeks ago I was so mad and angry, I went to work so frustrated, I
went home, called my mom and just let all the anger out. She had to deal with
this a couple of times, poor my beloved mother. I kept saying I’m so angry mom,
with my job, I’m so angry mom with my life, I’m so angry with everyone around
me, mom I need a change! I kept crying and I kept beating myself so much every
day, that it made my mornings, evenings, a living hell. I thought that my unhappiness
lied within the anger I had, but not until a week ago, when I cried my eyes out
of seeing someone that meant a lot to me, with someone else, did I realize, I
was never angry, I still hadn’t let go of what happened a couple of months ago,
I was sad because I felt so much pain. And even if I was angry, I wasn’t angry
with my entire life and everyone that was in it, I was angry that I couldn’t have
that one person that I wanted and I was so angry that I somehow ended up here,
with pain, when I’ve tried and been so very careful my whole life. I guess I’m
a combination of everything; I’m mad, sad, and scared. Scared because I’m
waiting for my x-ray appointment too, and I don’t know the outcome, don’t know
if I’m very sick or if I’m not. Cancer has no age limit, you can be 25 and very
sick. I guess I just thought I’d been through
enough this year, was my health going to be an issue as well? Couldn’t I just
worry about my broken heart? All I know is that I’m so tired, my mind, my
heart, my arms, my legs, my stomach, my appetite, everything within me has no
energy left. But I’ll will get through this, I just have to, if not for me,
then for everyone I love and loves me.
Thank you miss Sheila, knowing I’m not the only one feeling like this!
You “will” get through everything Evelyn. You’re venting the anger and that is so important. You’re also aware of what triggered your reaction and have a support system in your mom. I’m sorry that you’ve gone through so much in such a short period of time. Yes, anger often masks fear and hurt. Try to focus on what action you can take to shift out of the anger. As you do this you will flip the anger switch off. But most of all be kind to yourself. Take care, Sheila
I’ve just ended a very toxic 16 year friendship and it has deeply triggered my anger. I have acted out on this anger, retaliating to get even and also to feel some sort of relief. Of course, this is not truly helping me, but hurting me more. However, each time that I have retaliated (which is completely uncharacteristic of me) I have learned many lessons. I just wish that I could learn them without causing myself more pain. I have a therapist. I examine my thoughts and feelings. I meditate. I’m just incredibly struggling with a lot of rage. I am aware that it is not all caused by my friend. I have a lot of repressed anger. My friend intentionally hurt me and sabotaged me and it is beyond difficult to let it go and get past it. I’ve just retaliated to knock her down. It’s absolutely horrible, especially when I feel my actions are justified. I’ve moved far away from her in the past month, which was a very good decision. I’m very new to experiencing this scale anger and boy am I making a ton of stupid mistakes! Thank you for this article.
Hi (your insight as to what is going on with you belies the “unenlightened” name so I’m hesitant to call you unenlightened. How about “evolving.”
I can only sense the height of your anger is as great as the depth of your pain. First let me say I am so sorry for what you are going through. I think the length of the friendship is adding to your intense reaction. And you are right retaliating is just keeping you in the cycle of anger and rage. The other person and the situation still has a hold on you and you will not move forward until you let it go. This is no easy feat and may take time. I’m so glad you have support in therapy and are aware of the why and how of your reaction. This situation has triggered your suppressed anger to come out and in the long term this is better for you, as suppressed emotions are toxic. Going forward try to use the anger as fuel for constructive action. My very best to you. Take care, Sheila
Sheila~ I loved your point about leaning into the feeling. When we open ourselves to experience the feeling, we get our power and courage back. By experiencing that feeling and approaching it with curiosity, often we find gifts there and come out of it stronger.
Thank you Jackie!
Beautifully said! Years ago I heard someone say lean into the pain and at the time, I thought, what the heck are they talking about. Now years later, I realize these experiences provide lots of opportunity for growth and are a source of wisdom.
Best to you, Sheila
Hi Sheila, hope you don’t mind me asking but did you give your feedback to the first doctor? As we no, everybody makes mistakes and it would useful for her to learn from the incident too. This would be a good way to constructively manage anger too.
Hi Flo,
Yes! Absolutely, I did give feedback to the first doctor for several reasons. And yes, mistakes happen all the time but I was more concerned with her unwillingness to listen and her resistance to running some simple tests to be on the safe side that bothered me. I know doctors are human and busy and therefore make mistakes and hopefully my feedback helped prevent it from happening again. I agree this is probably one of the most constructive ways to manage the anger and also help others. Thanks for pointing this out it was a great addition to the conversation.
best to you, Sheila
This is amazing. Thank you so much for sharing your experience and your thoughts. I will be sure to make an effort to utilize these four steps in my daily life. This article touched my soul on a particularly difficult week, thank you for this.
Thank you Jackie! I think curiosity is the the key word. Every thing is a learning experience.
Best to you,
Sheila
Thank you Meghan! I’m so glad the article made your week a little brighter : )
Best to you,
Sheila
The correct idiom is “sap”, not “zap” your energy
“sap” is to gradually weaken something; “zap” is to completely obliterate something. I had no problem with the use of “zap”. How do you know if the writer meant to use an “idiom” (i.e. cliche’) or if the writer consciously chose a more descriptive word?
“Cliché” is not synonymous with “idiom”, so I don’t think you’re qualified to chime in on a vocabulary critique. How’s that “internet white-knighting” thing working for you though?
Flagging/removing my responses will never make “cliché” be synonymous with “idiom”, kudos on your white-knighting prowess though ;D