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3 Ways to Find Fulfillment Wherever You Are in Life

Feel Alive

“Don’t wait for the perfect moment. Take the moment and make it perfect.” ~Unknown

For almost all my life, I have lived in my head.

In my head, there was a utopia. And that utopia was named “someday.”

“Someday” I would have my degree, have the perfect relationship, become successful in business, own a beautiful home near the beach, be more athletic, and of course, be completely fulfilled with every aspect of my life.

For me, “Someday” was both a place of refuge and a place of torment. Because although in my mind, it gave me something to hope for, it also made every moment of every day feel… empty.

Nothing I did or experienced in the moment was ever enough. I lived life as a means to an end that never seemed to come.

Each day I would wake up and jump from one thing to the next. When brushing my teeth I would think about breakfast, at breakfast I’d think about my commute, and so forth until I reached the brief moments just before I fell asleep, so I could promise myself “ Don’t worry, it’s all worth it—you’re getting closer!”

I felt like I had to rush against some invisible clock to pack my life with the fulfilment I thought I needed.

Milestones were passed and yet, I never stopped to appreciate any of it. I rushed head first into a serious relationship that wasn’t right for me, moved across the country to find myself, and launched a business.

After years of working hard, I finally woke up one day to realize that I was “there.” I was engaged, living in a five-bedroom house, working as a high level marketing consultant, and had everything I thought I had wanted “someday.”

And yet… I was still completely unsatisfied.

While outsiders saw an amazing life, I was stuck comparing “someday” to my current life, and lamenting on how it didn’t stack up.

Then, something amazing happened.

I lost it all.

And I mean lost. It. ALL: My relationship exploded, I had to leave my home, I was let go from my high paid consulting gig, no longer had a car, and to top it off, I lost the two closest members of my family. All while being stranded thousands of miles away from any loved ones.

In the space of two weeks.

At the time I didn’t think it was such an amazing experience. It felt like I was standing at the top of a mountain while it crumbled under my feet, and I saw the fall I was about to take.

The amazing part came over the next couple of years, while I nestled in a humble little cottage working to rebuild my life.

At first, I felt sorry for myself. I started to sink into a deep “why me” pity party, and everyone was invited.

Then I realized, I was standing over the edge of a deep, bottomless hole. I could fight life and keep sinking deeper and deeper. Or I could decide to find a reason to step away from that edge and keep going.

I decided to look away from the edge. And it changed my life.

Here’s what I discovered:

Love the present moment.

Fully accept it and fully love it. It took me a long time to understand that you can want to change or move towards a goal, and still love where you’re at now. Life is about living and embracing each moment, not looking to some future that will never come.

Find the blessings in the current situation.

No matter how dark your situation seems, there is a jewel hidden somewhere inside it. You can make up your mind to see only the bad stuff, or you go find the beautiful stuff and be grateful for it.

Understand that there is no magic moment that will save you—and rejoice!

We’re all looking for that thing that will give us deep fulfilment. But it’s not outside of you. It’s not hiding in a job, in cars, in a house, in a relationship, or anything else. Those are all nice things to have. But that deep fulfilment will not come from any of those sources.

You’re already a full and complete person. And part of connecting with that deep fulfilment is simply in finding the joys in the current moment.

These three simple steps broke the hold that “someday” had on me. I realized that “someday” was every day. Every moment of our lives.

I started to enjoy every day. And to my surprise the fulfilment I thought that I had to work for was right there all along—even though I had nothing that I thought I wanted!

The funniest thing is that once I let go of that search for fulfilment, everything that used to live in the world of “someday” manifested into my life with ease. I have since found my soul mate, live next to the beach, run my own heart-based business, and although I’m no athlete, I’m definitely much healthier.

However, I always remember that regardless of whether these things stay with me or go, I will always have fulfilment in my life.

Sotake on any challenge or go after any goal with a clear conscience knowing that you don’t need it to become completely fulfilled right now.

You are already complete.

Man on top of the world image via Shutterstock

About Danielle Lynn

Danielle Lynn is also known as the ‘Karmic Marketer.’ She believes that you will get the most out of your business and brand if you never compromise on your values. Head over to daniellelynn.com to learn more about building a profitable, heart-based brand or to say hi!

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Daniels

Quality read.

Kelli Cooper

Hi Danielle
Wow, this post really resonated with me on so many levels. While I didn’t experience circumstances as extreme as yours, I did have a time where things were really going badly on many fronts, and like you, the pity party made an appearance for awhile, but then I realized how I was thinking was not serving me, and I had no choice but to gain a different perspective.

That is one of the most powerful lessons I have learned–we always have a choice on how to view things. We can choose to be happy no matter what is happening around us. I also used to be both buoyed and tormented by the ‘someday.’

But, then came a point where I realized I needed to act now to get what I wanted because someday may not come. We need to find joy in the moment and while it is awesome to grow and expand and get the most out of life we can, it is important we maintain a sense of gratitude for what we have right now.

Thanks for sharing your wisdom!

Ellen Bard

A great post Danielle. You’re so right – so many of us wait for ‘someday’ rather than experience the joys of the present moment. I love ‘there is no magic moment that will save you’ – a great reminder of how we can find small joys in any moment, even some of the darkest.

Talya Price

This was a very good read and it resonated with me today, especially today. I have just come hoe from having a root canal and I paid quite a bit a money for it, and I am a bit worried about when I will get my next payment. I had 2 auditions this week and I am feeling a bit of anxiety about them. I keep thinking that one day I will get a big break and and fully support myself with my acting career. And I keep thinking when will that be? When is that magic moment going to happen?

However, I have to change my thinking and know that I am already supporting myself with my acting career despite the fact that people around me are saying how difficult it is. I know I am a fulltime working actress. I know I am a good actress and I have already made it. I am living my dream now.

Thank you Danielle and The Universe for this reminder.

Nichelle

Wow. I think this sums up the struggle that I have faced for the last 15 years. I am always waiting for someday and have felt empty even on days I should be happy. My expectations of how my life should be and when I should get there have put a wall up between me and happiness. This is a life lesson that I need to get a grip on, I just hope I don’t have to loose everything to get it. Thanks for the post

Danielle Lynn

Thank you Ellen! Beautifully said.

Danielle Lynn

<3 I'm really glad that we could connect on this point. You're not alone!

Danielle Lynn

Talya, You are amazing. <3 Thank you for your comment as well.

Danielle Lynn

Thank you Kelli <3

For your kind words and for sharing your story as well!

Makayla

While reading this I literally felt like you were writing exactly how I feel, everyday of my life. I’ve spent so much time waiting for that day.. that if I keep searching, I will never find. I too, when I’m washing my face think about breakfast, when eating breakfast think about the next thing. I seem to never fully enjoy or seize the moment. For some reason, it seems so hard for me to understand that this moment is all we’ll ever have.

Arijit Banerjea

Danielle, I can completely relate! I had been living in the future all my life (ever since I was 4, I guess!) While that initially had it’s merits, it has actually slowed me down for the past 14 years – as a student, as an employee and as an entrepreneur. I am 34 now and I can finally say that I am doing exactly what I want to do.
It’s great to see you say “regardless of whether these things stay with me or go, I will always have fulfilment in my life.” Congratulations!

Rachael

This is very true and I am learning everyday how to appreciate it.

I am still not living my dreams to the fullest,but i am loving the path towards it. It might take time,but I enjoy each day that is given to me and I am grateful for every thing that comes in my life and all the things that do not come in my life. Its all for the best. Happiness is within us and we must fully embrace life as it is. Someday is today,make it worth and count. Don’t wait for the years to to stack on each other. Someday is today in this ultimate moment,embrace it.

Thank you for this artcile Danielle its great!

Benja Castilla

Blog is really very interesting and inspiring Danielle! I loved it! Whenever I interact with budding entrepreneurs, I always tell them that moving the first step is always the difficult part but you have to take it to reach your goals. As Dave Morin rightly said “My best entrepreneurial advice is to start.”

Jeevan/Mirthu/Gupt

“For me, “Someday” was both a place of refuge and a place of torment.
Because although in my mind, it gave me something to hope for, it also
made every moment of every day feel… empty.” This is so true & something I struggle with on a daily basis…Thank you so much for sharing your story. 🙂

SadLoser

I’m doing it all the time and I am fully aware how damaging it is. I just cannot break it off! I am supposed to work on a paid writing assignment, but I cannot focus and instead I waste time in crying over my underachieving and procrastination. I don’t know where to find the courage and self-esteem to carry on. It’s the pity party right here. This is killing me…

LN

I’m slowly starting to understand this for myself. For years I’ve always been waiting, hoping, grasping at that thing, that circumstance that is going to make me happy.

Well here I am, recently moved to a new state to start over completely. I find I still have that old mindset a lot of the time, but instead of frantically and fearfully applying to any and every job and feeling sorry for myself that I have no friends, I’m reminding myself to take it slow and not forget to inject fun and relaxation into the experience. It’s ok, it’s not being lazy, I deserve it. I know that if I go about life this way, the things I want will come and I’ll be more open to receiving them.