“One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure it’s worth watching.” ~Unknown
I realized I’m going to die soon.
Not, you know, imminently. But soon. Even sixty is soon. Seventy, eighty, ninety, still soon. And I’ll be lucky if I get that old.
I’m going to die.
What’s gotten into me? Maybe it’s the Robin Williams story. That would make sense. A loss that’s shocking really resets your perspective.
Life is fleeting, it’s brief. Even if it’s what we’d consider a long life, it’s short.
This was a thought of mine in the shower today.
I think it jolted me into feeling a little less uptight. A little less scared.
The real scary thing is the big, black unknown. That vast mystery of whatever comes next. Whatever happens after life is snuffed out.
And it will be snuffed out. In the grand scheme (even medium scheme) of history, pretty relatively quickly.
That’s morbid, you may think. But I felt a little better today when I had this thought.
After a good long stretch of isolating myself and digging further into a rut, I felt better about things I’ve been going through. Like cyclical insecure thoughts I’d been having. Apprehension, anger, regret, confusion. Fear. Anxiety.
I feel good today. Because in the face of life ending too soon, and not knowing what comes next, I realize that I know what can come now. I can put together what I want. I can face things boldly.
Compared to the uncertainty of whatever is in the afterlife, whatever my blind date thinks of me tomorrow is pretty manageable by comparison. While I’m here, I better embrace life a little.
I imagine that future me will look back on present me very much the way present me looks back on younger me.
I shake my head sometimes at younger me for her insecurities and hesitation and fear. I want to tell her it’s all going to go by so fast—enjoy it now.
Enjoy it now.
Right now is the time when future me may look back and wonder what on earth I was so worried about. I’m only thirty-one. Thirty-one! Forty-one year-old me would love to be thirty-one!
And eighty-one-year-old me would really wish she was thirty-one.
My god. I’m so lucky to be thirty-one.
What am I doing wasting it on insecurity? Why do I freeze and gravitate toward inaction sometimes?
Every moment that I’m unsure, worried, fretting, concerned about how I’m doing, or wondering if I’ve made the right choices, done the best I can, of if I should worry about what someone thinks, is a waste of precious time. It’s like fourteen-year-old me thinking she was fat. She wasn’t.
Are you hesitant about a fork in the road? Feeling anxious about your options (or lack thereof)? Feel old? Regret something? I can’t tell you what will fix it, but I can share three things that have always given me motivation to really move forward and live.
Walk through a graveyard.
It seems creepy. It isn’t. A cemetery has a fantastic way of reminding you to live your life. Fear of whatever choices you have ahead, or any paralysis of action you may be experiencing, will melt in the presence of beautifully landscaped permanent resting places.
Take a walk around your nearest or prettiest cemetery this weekend and try to quiet your mind. For me, this exercise always results in a great dose of perspective on life. Namely, that it ends. So any choice of action, regardless of how it turns out, is a gift.
Imagine young you.
Remember the school dance you were too scared to go to? Or the crossroads between starting your career or traveling after graduation? How about the girl you never asked out, or the boy you never told off for hurting you?
Young you was trepidatious about a few things—occasions you wouldn’t hesitate to rise to now. So, too, would older you appreciate you finding the courage to drop the worries that are holding you both back today.
Imagine the worst that can happen.
Got a scary thing you want to do? Think of the worst that could happen and weigh it against how much you’d regret not trying. Or, if you’re not sure what to do at all, weigh the consequences of trying something versus doing nothing.
Do something. Embrace the fact that you’re living. Failure, success—both are part of a full life. Living with complacency isn’t living at all.
My favorite question to ask people is what they’d be most upset about if the Grim Reaper showed up and said they’ve got five minutes.
Why wait?
Get to it.
About Sarah Hart
Sarah Hart is a Canadian writer. She quit her job and sold her stuff to buy plane ticket and a motorcycle and travel solo. She now lives and works happily in Auckland, New Zealand.
Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 
Hi Sarah! Interesting way of looking at things. I don’t worry about what will happen after this life. I feel like people worry so much that they forget to live right now. Also, don’t worry about growing older. Things happen for a reason at different times of our life. We have to go through our childhood, our awkward teenage years, try to find ourselves as adults, etc. I think it all happens at a good time. We live and learn. One suggestion I have is to go skydiving! Especially, if a person is feeling stuck. After you do it, you realize you can do anything you want to in life! It motivates you 🙂
Sarah,
It is well written to shake everybody, the graveyard visit metaphor is a little bit in the pessimistic side of the scale, but sometimes we need a real dose of reality, so that we could take the courage to do things that are meaningful in our life. The risk taking can only push us from our comfort zone to live the life the fullest.
Hi Sarah
Thanks for sharing your insights on this…I think a lot of people have this type of stream of thought about our mortality, what we are doing with our lives,etc…It can be really uncomfortable sometimes.
I made major changes in my life over the last several years, and like many people, a major catalyst of getting unstuck was something very bad that shook up my world, forced me into the muck of my internal world and left me with a clearer sense of who I was and what I wanted.
Since then, I have found it easier to make changes and shift course when I am feeling a bit ‘off.’ For me, the biggest thing that has helped me keep things moving along was simply getting comfortable with being uncomfortable. If we can learn to do that, oh the changes we can make in our lives!
Thanks for a great post!
Thank you for this post Sarah. Lately I have been feeling a bit stuck in my life. I woke up this morning and felt completely fed up with where I am physically and emotionally. And I am trying to find the way to change all of this. It has been difficult but reading your story has really inspired me. I would love to know how you left your job and just went to New Zealand. I feel like I want to do the same.
Thank you.
Hi Sarah,
Great read, thanks for that, especially the tip about walking through a graveyard! Marvellous! Never heard of that one before, but it is a great way to contemplate life and remind ourselves of how precious, valuable and unique our life on earth is.
I totally agree with this. I lost the man I loved six months ago to alcohol liver failure, he was only 53. After the initial grief and not wanting to live without him period, it made me realise how short and fleeting life really is and how I want to LIVE, really truly live and have fun, as nobody knows how long they have. Even though we all have to work to pay the bills, don’t get stuck in a life you no longer want just for that. Live life every day, like there may be no tomorrow… As for my heart it is still grieving my loss, but I know I loved him and am glad I was a part of his life, however short that was.
The point remains; whether we do great things or do nothing, we probably will not be remembered at all since those who remember us will also eventually be gone. I think that’s a very hard reality for people to accept. Yes, it’s always better to help people and try to have a pleasant life while you’re here but, in the end, we will all be in the same spot. Why people think things happen for a reason has also always been a mystery to me. It’s as though they believe there’s a “Master Plan”. Things simply happen and it’s up to us to learn life lessons from those happenings.
Hey Peace Within. Thanks for your comment! Skydiving is a blast, and I definitely recommend it as well. Even if just for the plain fun of it. You make some great points here — totally agree. Everyone’s path looks different, and I’m glad. Have a great day, and thanks for contributing your thoughts!
Hi Emma, that’s such a big loss and I’m sorry to hear you’re going through it. The attitude you’ve taken toward life sounds like the right approach to me — I admire your courage to turn things around and find some positivity in such hard times. I totally agree with your point of view on work. It’s necessary (and good!) to hold down that job and pay the bills. And as I’ve found out in my own way, you can find a way to strike that healthy balance between work and life. Stay well Emma, and thanks for sharing your thoughts 🙂
Hey Filitech! Glad you liked the article, and thanks for your message. It’s so easy to get caught up in our issues and forget it’s just a short time we’re here for, isn’t it? Have a great weekend!
I so needed this!
This is really refreshing!! We all need a reminder of how we should keep moving on.
A light touch with an important topic Sarah, a good reminder to put things into perspective, thanks.
Love your profile! You’ve got guts girl!
Hi Sarah, nice blog.
I first knew I would die when I was 35 years old. I also was having a shower (the place for the first thoughts of the morning) and I saw clear as day my life as though I were travelling inside a very long tunnel and up to that morning I could not see the end of the tunnel, and then suddenly I saw it, I saw the end of the tunnel, I saw the end of my life. I knew in a profound way that one day I would die …. and I burst out laughing!
This year, I was meditating. My mortality must have been playing on my mind. I heard some 20-somethings having a good time outside and became irritated that they were intruding on my meditation. Then a strange thing happened. I felt an overwhelming sense of “love for life” and that love for life extended to any life, the life being expressed by those 20-somethings. My meditation became calm.
If you don’t frequently look at photos of yourself (I don’t) its quite eye-opening to look at photos of yourself 10, 20, 30 years younger. Suddenly the problems and issues of those days don’t seem so great after all. Makes one wonder if the problems of today are as great as one thinks they are!
Hmmm… Pessimistic or realistic? We ALL will die. So how is that pessimistic? I find facing that reality head on makes me appreciate my life and the time I have all the more. It’s liberating and envigorating to live with intention, to live fully, to recognize how precious and fleeting our time is. Embrace life and death.
Hey Mark, great insight! Did your sense of “love for life” continue throughout the rest of the day, week, month, year? Or do you find it’s something you need to reconnect to via your meditation practice?
Your last point is mine exactly — amazing how looking back puts some of those issues of your youth into perspective. And so you must wonder, what would a 20-years-later version of you think of your issues today? Curious!
Glad you liked the article! Thanks for your comment.
Hope it was helpful, Toyiah! Thanks for letting me know 🙂
Hey Susan, thanks for your comment! It’s an interesting point you bring up. That’s a difficult reality to accept, indeed, isn’t it. My hope is that something I do in this life will live on past the people who know me now. Something future generations (of family, friends, strangers) could get some benefit from. Hopefully I have enough time left to accomplish whatever that may be!
You’re absolutely right that life is in our own hands, rather than just fate. All the more reason to do something consciously and purposefully with our time here.
Hi Kelli! Thanks for the virtual high five!
Sweet! Thanks Ellen. Glad you liked the article 🙂
So true, ponponpo, and thank you for the comment! Glad you enjoyed the article.
So glad you got something from the article, Talya! I’m pretty certain even the most optimistic of us get stuck in a rut from time to time, feeling just the way you described. I’m so happy my story inspired you, and hope today finds you feeling a little more on top of the world, or at least more confident that you can make some good changes. Maybe even big ones.
As for how I left my job and went to New Zealand, it was a year-long process and a dream of mine for longer than that. Several years of being unhappy in my city, my job, and my relationship led me to evaluate where the feelings were coming from. Eventually it dawned on me that I could change it all, and I made sure it was for good reasons within me rather than running away. You never can run away from what’s within you, after all!
I left my job, broke up my unhealthy relationship, and spent a year slowing down and getting back to the basics of life: family, friends, hobbies. I relied on my savings, and working (mostly for fun) as a bartender. Thankfully I’m awesome at saving! When the dream to leave was still strong, I sold all my things and bought a one way ticket. It was scary and exhilarating!
Now it’s more than a year and a half later. I’ve toured the whole of NZ on my own, and picked up my career here on the other side of the world. Life as an expat is a whole other article, but I’m happy to say this is exactly where I want to be. I wouldn’t have found out for sure if I hadn’t taken a big chance and done it.
All the best!
Sarah
Hi Kelli! Totally true. That discomfort is a good sign though — I’m a firm believer in doing things that scare us a little, even if only to show ourselves we’re capable of overcoming.
Sorry to hear about your turn of events. At the same time, it sounds like what happened was a bit of a blessing in disguise. Getting comfortable with being uncomfortable is an extremely useful quality to develop and I hope it’s taken you to places you couldn’t have imagined — within yourself, among your peers, and out there in the world.
Thanks for your comment, and have a kickass weekend 🙂
Hey DE, thanks for your comment! Like you said, it’s useful to get a dose of reality (even if it may seem a little pessimistic) so we can live with more awareness. You’re so right. Taking risks gets us outside of our comfort zone, and that’s where the best living can be done. At the very least, testing ourselves reminds us how much more we’re capable of than we thought.
Hi Janetesm! True, right? We all die. It’s not exactly my favourite thing to think about in depth, but it definitely reminds me to get my head out of the clouds and live with intention like you’ve mentioned.
Our time is certainly precious and fleeting! It’s interesting to me how different people incorporate this into their outlook. Some may get scared, some may get reckless, some may get hopeless, and some may soar and achieve fantastic things! Here’s to helping everyone do the latter 🙂
Thanks for your comment.
Hi Sarah, Its been a number of weeks since the event I described. The sense did last for more than a day I’m sure. I think it just pounced on me at the right time! Since then it is not something I have consciously sought, but at a subconscious level I hope what I saw still exists.
I think the “love for life” arose because I was in a dark place at that time. My subconscious came to the rescue! 🙂
It really helped me! Thank you
thanku very much
hi Sarah…. love your view… currently i am going through a phase….. well inlove, work, at home… do not know what to do… tried with the insight.. not working… some sense of worry is still playing across my mind….. am i blocking everything… i am trying to inculcate few things… but its the decision making thats scaring me?.. scared to come out of my comfort zone….
It’s crazy how the mind plays an incredible part in life. Family, friends and colleagues often ask me ‘Why are you being so hard on yourself’? I have lost myself so deep within my own negativity that I was taken back by how I have completely forgotten to appreciate the beauty I have in my life. The incredible man that chose ME to be his wife. The fact that I live in a beautiful place, I still have most of my beautiful family and friends and I have health. Until lately I got sick over and over again and I put it down to thinking the wrong thoughts, feeling the wrong feelings, telling myself the wrong stories. Appreciating the beauty of non materialistic things is the most important gift of life. And yes I will die at some point, something that has consumed my thoughts too much for a few months now. I have been so focused on rushing to find my purpose that ive forgotten that my purpose is within my reach everyday, within every thought, within every moment that I am alive. Thank you for sharing your article. It really put things into perspective for me 😉
ok, graveyard, imagine young me, imagine the worst… THEN WHAT!!! :O
I looked at other articles, but yours motivated me alot then others did, I feel like doing something now.
Hey Leon, thanks so much! I’d love to hear what you ended up doing 🙂
Michelle — thank YOU! Glad my article inspired you. Your comment has inspired me 🙂
Anjua — I know how it feels! It’s normal. I think those difficult decision-making times are the best times to listen. There’s something important your soul may be trying to tell you. I see you commented 8 months ago, so my reply is pretty late. I hope you ended up finding happiness and peace inside!
Nice but why graveyards, why why..lol
Doing something for other people isnt the point and isnt the right attitude to begin with.
Its about being comfortable with yourself.
This is what life is about for everyone. Its about living your life the way you want to live it, not based on other people’s recommendations or pressures.
Loved the post!! 🙂
Needed it!
Your profile,
Bike, plane ticket, solo!?
SHIT!! Same for me!! Half-way there.. 🙂
Hey Sarah.. I did my b.tech 5 year ago from very reputed college but got very low grade so I didn’t get any job since then I m preparing for government job but did not succeed too . my parents are worried about my future and me too.. I don’t know what to do..please guide me I m feeling so hopeless and worthless .. I wasted so many years of my life and achieved nothing…please help me
Cemeteries are fascinating links to the past that provide a thread to humanity. They are also quiet and serene like a church. There is something sacred about life and death. If you have a vivid imagination you can create whole family sagas and become less self absorbed.
Graveyards is confusing me.