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How to Recognize and Overcome Dysfunction in Your Family

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“A family is a place where minds come in contact with one another. If these minds love one another the home will be as beautiful as a flower garden. But if these minds get out of harmony with one another it is like a storm that plays havoc with the garden.” ~Buddha

Family is often considered the cornerstone of our lives, providing support, love, and a sense of belonging. However, not all family dynamics are healthy, and breaking free from toxic patterns can be crucial for personal growth and overall well-being.

Unhealthy family dynamics can manifest in various ways, …

How to Tend to the Garden Within and Help Create a More Peaceful World

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“Until we transform ourselves, we are like mobs of angry people screaming for peace. In order to move the world, we must be able to stand still in it.” ~Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche

It only happens about every ten years or so. The primal scream. It gets unleashed when things feel like too much.

But it happened recently, to the dismay of my husband who was enjoying a rare moment of quiet in the house. I had just dropped our son off to basketball practice. The soup I’d picked up for dinner spilled in the car, and the lid to the …

I Won’t Let My Losses Break Me: How I’m Choosing Growth

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Loss is confronting. But I ask you to please walk beside me while I address this most challenging aspect of life.

Losing those we love.

While loss is inevitable, it is something that we always think happens to others.

Until it happens to us.

The last six months I have had a steep learning curve on loss.

The spiral began in May this year.

On May 18th, my partner suddenly walked out. I was blindsided. Heartbroken. I would later learn the truth about his duplicity. But that is fodder for a memoir at a later date.

Two weeks …

The Magic of the Mountain: My Perfect Healing Recipe

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When I woke up this morning, the first thing I did was a guided meditation titled “Cultivating Joy.” In this meditation I was taken back to a time when I felt joy. The first thing that popped into my mind was a time about three weeks ago; my husband, my dog Lily, and I had traveled to Wintergreen Resort to celebrate my birthday.

Wintergreen has always been a magical place for me. I was born and raised in the same county, but just on the other side of the mountain. My idea of a birthday celebration has become much less …

How to Process Intense Feelings with Mindfulness: 4 Powerful Steps

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“Feelings come and go, like clouds in the sky. Conscious breathing is my anchor.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

In today’s fast-paced world, it’s easy to find ourselves caught in a whirlwind of intense emotions.

Whether it’s the stress of looming deadlines, the anxiety of an uncertain future, or the frustration of unexpected setbacks, intense feelings often hijack our mental well-being, leaving us feeling drained and powerless in their wake.

In such moments, our instinctual response is often to either suppress these emotions or allow them to dictate our actions, leading to a cycle of reactivity and emotional turbulence.

Growing up, …

My New Goal: To Believe in My Inherent Worth

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“I have inherent worth. It cannot be raised by my strengths or lowered by my weaknesses or defects of character.” ~Pia Melody

Perhaps you’ll resonate with the way I am feeling as of late: I tell myself I am enough. I have always been enough, just as I am, without doing anything at all. But I struggle to accept this truth without feeling like I have to earn it. Like I have to take a zillion steps for self-care, accomplish a certain number of goals, or do enough things to win validation from other people.

I believe at the …

We Cannot Conquer Hate with More Hate (Only with Love)

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“Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.” ~Martin Luther King, Jr.

I suspect that most people are victims of hate. Wars happen because of hate. Your mental, emotional, and even physical balance is lost because of hate. Hate destroys joy and happiness.

Think about the last time you felt intense emotions of hate—for another person, for a group of people, or even for yourself. Just thinking about it will make you feel not so nice. Now, as you think about those feelings of hate, simply observe yourself.…

How Being Alone Made Me Fall in Love with Myself

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“Solitude is where one discovers one is not alone.” ~Marty Rubin

“No one invites me to their party.” That’s what middle school was like for me, anyway. No matter how hard I tried, I could never really fit in with any friend groups.

It seemed like everyone got the instructions on who to hang with and where to sit except me.

I was the serious, quiet type. And the gossipers and sleepover crews didn’t want serious and reserved. So I bounced around, making a buddy here and there. But I was never fully brought into the social scene.

At first, …

How I Cherished Every Beautiful Moment of My Daughter’s Short Life

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In the spring of 2012, I heard this word, “rest.” I realized how horrible I was at it. I wasn’t even sure what it was. Was it extra sleep? Was it not working on Sundays? Shortly after I heard this word, my life began changing. For one reason or another, one by one, the things with which I occupied myself were stripped away until I found myself with nothing left to hold.

A year later I was in a panic, wondering how we were going to make ends meet. Everything in me said to do what I had always done: …

How to Find Peace When Your Mind Is Restless

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“Within you, there is a stillness and a sanctuary to which you can retreat at any time and be yourself.” ~Hermann Hesse

When I work with people who are suffering from anxiety, fear, grief, or other challenging issues, I like to take them through a simple exercise I call “The Noticing Exercise.”

It’s my first port of call when helping people break free from mind-created suffering.

It’s amazing how quickly, and effortlessly, people can move from suffering to peace, simply through shifting their focus to being aware of the present moment—noticing the sensation of the body touching the chair, …

5 Reasons to Try Something New Before You Feel Ready

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“Great people do things before they’re ready. They do things before they know they can do it. And by doing it, they’re proven right.” ~Amy Poehler

Ready isn’t a state of being, it’s a state of mind. Or maybe I should say we don’t have to be anything to qualify for the label of being ready for something; rather, it’s a mindset in which we choose to embrace the unknown. My story starts like this…

A few months into my soul-searching, I realized I had to move. Away from my unfulfilling job, away from my unhealthy habits perpetuated by my …

How Embracing Grief Can Open Us Up to a Beautiful New Chapter

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“When we are brave enough to tend to our hearts, our messy emotions can teach us how to be free—not free from pain but free from the fear of pain and the barrier it creates to fully living.” ~Kris Carr

It’s crazy how you go about your life thinking all is okay, and then BOOM, something happens that changes you forever. Grief and loss come and hit you in the face.

You know… the days that you start as one person and end as someone else.

But it’s not your first loss or trauma! You had a childhood of pain …

The Epiphany That Freed Me from My Body Obsession

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“Your body is precious. It is your vehicle for awakening. Treat it with care.” ~Buddha

What is the first thing that comes to mind when you hear or see the word fitness? Do you think of an Olympic power lifting athlete, gymnast, or swimmer? The way we interpret and respond to the word fitness is a driver of physical health, but also our mental health.

From a young age I associated health with fitness, which, to me, meant fitter is better. Society fed me the image of perfection. And so the chase of fitness became a moving target that …

How I Healed My Anxiety with Simple Mindfulness Practices

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“Every step taken in mindfulness brings us one step closer to healing ourselves and the planet.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

When I returned from an extended stay in India at the beginning of this year, I was full of worries and uncertainty. Since I was coming back to a very different life, I had no idea what was next.

I was without a job but determined to build my coaching business full-time. However, I felt lost as to where I was going to be within the next few months and how I was going to figure things out.

Eventually, I settled …

How to Free Yourself from Pain from the Past

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“There are two levels to your pain: the pain that you create now, and the pain from the past that still lives on in your mind and body.” ~Eckhart Tolle

When I read this quote, it stopped me in my tracks. So much of our pain and suffering in the present is caused by us repeating cycles and dwelling on pain from the past. We want so badly to resolve our suffering. But our search for resolution often involves repeating the painful cycles we have already been through, in the hope that someone or something will change.

…

If You Aren’t Happy with Yourself and Your Life Right Now…

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“For the person that needs to see this today: Your heart will heal, your tears will dry, your season will change. Rest tonight knowing the storm will end.” ~Unknown

When I was fifteen, I officially started engaging in the diet scene. As a teenager who was trying to fit in, feel pretty, and gain acceptance, I thought that food was the fix. Food—or the lack of it—would be the solution to all my problems. All that thought really did was make everything worse.

As a child, I would visit Europe every other year, to visit family. The culture and the …

How to Slow Down and Take Care of Yourself

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“You are worth the quiet moment. You are worth the deeper breath. You are worth the time it takes to slow dow, be still and rest.” ~Morgan Harper Nichols

“It’s great to see you without three laptops and two phones,” my cardiologist quipped. I nodded, remembering how, a year earlier, I’d sat in the ICU tethered to my to-do list while having a heart attack. Even as the doctors were attaching wires and monitors to me, I couldn’t put my laptop down. I believed that everything would fall apart if I stopped to take care of myself.

It had …

Emotionally Overwhelmed? 5 Simple Practices That Can Help

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“Whatever you’re feeling, it will eventually pass. You won’t feel sad forever. At some point, you will feel happy again. You won’t feel anxious forever. In time, you will feel calm again. You don’t have to fight your feelings or feel guilty for having them. You just have to accept them and be good to yourself while you ride this out. Resisting your emotions and shaming yourself will only cause you more pain, and you don’t deserve that. You deserve your own love, acceptance, and compassion.”  ~Lori Deschene

One cry a day. I have used this four-word phrase to defend …

How to Let Go of Your Dream When It’s Time to Move On

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“We must be willing to let go of the life we planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us.” ~Joseph Campbell

There’s something I find rarely talked about in discussions about letting go, but I notice all the time. It’s not the release from letting go of outdated stuff. It’s not grieving the loss of loved ones. It’s not healing from trauma. All of these precious topics are talked about and should be more so.

What I find rarely discussed is the letting go of past versions of oneself—often versions you’ve worked tirelessly to …

Why I Love My Anger and How It Can Be a Force for Good

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“Where there is anger, there is always pain underneath.” ~Eckhart Tolle

“I don’t know why I’m so angry,” my mother said.

It was 3 a.m., and my mother was standing outside my door. I had awoken suddenly to hear feet stomping up and down the hallway on one of my last visits to my childhood home before dementia and breast cancer really took hold of her.

“Phht, me either.” I tried to empathize, but inside of me rose my own fear and anger, as my siblings and I had watched her decline over the years, yet at the same time, …