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How Self-Care Can Actually Save the Planet

“Take care of the earth and she will take care of you.” ~Unknown

The morning the sky turned red and the sun didn’t come out, I decided I wanted to sell my car. In a strange way, it seemed like an ultimate act of self-care.

Mind you, my wife and I are a two-car family and neither of us commute in the traffic-clogged Bay Area. So losing a car wouldn’t be a hardship. Instead, it would be a frank statement of living my values. A way to stage my own protest and live true.

I now understand this is …

A Love Note to Introverts: 10 Superpowers That Make You Amazing

“Your vision will become clear only when you look into your own heart. Who looks outside dreams, who looks inside, awakens.” ~Carl Jung

Dear Introvert,

We live in an extraverted world, one that is not always kind to introverts. You may be that introvert who was bullied because you were quiet, or who felt as though you never fit in. Maybe you used food, alcohol, or substances to numb the pain, which created its own set of problems.

First and foremost, know that you are perfect as you are.

Being introverted doesn’t make you weird, awkward, anti-social, or too sensitive. …

How to Best Comfort Someone Who’s Grieving

“Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass. It’s about learning to dance in the rain.” ~Vivian Greene

Compassion is one of humanity’s greatest gifts. During times of suffering, such as following the death of a loved one, sufferers rely on the empathy of others to survive their ordeal. Yet, too often when someone is grieving, we do little more than offer an “I am sorry for your loss” because we are fearful of accidentally increasing their pain.

Speaking as someone who lost her husband unexpectedly after just over three years of marriage—and who has counseled many people …

Strong and Vulnerable: How I Learned to Let People In

“Vulnerability is hard. And it’s scary, and it feels dangerous. But it’s not as hard, scary, or dangerous as getting to the end of our lives and having to ask ourselves, ’What if I would have shown up?’” ~BrenĂ© Brown

January – 2012

I remember sitting in a small, dark room waiting for the surgeon to arrive.

My son had just had major surgery to treat a complex condition that had cost him his small bowel, and it had taken much longer than expected.

My stomach felt tense as the surgeon sat in the chair opposite us.

He looked at …

3 Ways My Anxiety Has Helped Me Love Better

“Quiet people have the loudest minds.” ~Dr. Stephen Hawking

I have wonderful family and friends and have always hoped that I would pass along a helpful legacy. Lessons for them to remember, memories to smile about, and love to lean into during hard times. For years, though, it seemed like the biggest thing I was passing down to my exhausted wife, flustered and at times terrified kids, and friends was my struggles with anxiety.

As my anxiety grew and the panic attacks came, I grew apart from those I needed the most. Hard for a son and wife to connect …

How to Befriend Our Unhealthy Survival Mechanisms

“Wounded children have a rage, a sense of failed justice that burns in their souls. What do they do with that rage? Since they would never harm another, they turn that rage inward. They become the target of their own rage.” ~Woody Haiken

Survival mechanisms are ways of being that we picked up along the way to help us cope with what was happening in our reality.

Getting mad at ourselves for doing what we do only promotes self-hate. We’re not bad or wrong; in fact, we’re pretty damn intelligent. We found ways to help us soothe our traumas, hurt, …

How Redundancy Can Be a Blessing in Disguise

“If you want something you’ve never had, you must be willing to do something you’ve never done.” ~Thomas Jefferson

To most people, redundancy is a dreaded word.

It conjures up thoughts of hardship, of scarcity, and of struggling to make ends meet.

I have twice been made redundant, and at both times, it was difficult to accept.

Throughout the redundancy process, and for some time afterward, my emotions were all over the place, making it difficult for me to think straight.

But I’ve discovered that when we’re able to look back, we can sometimes see that redundancy might not …

What You Need to Hear If You Work Yourself to the Bone

“Quiet the voice telling you to do more and be more, and trust that in this moment, who you are, where you are at, and what you are doing is enough. You will get to where you need to be in your own time. Until then, breathe. Breathe and be patient with yourself and your process. You are doing the best you can to cope and survive amid your struggles, and that’s all you can ask of yourself. It’s enough. You are enough.” ~Daniell Koepke

A couple years ago, a colleague of mine died from overwork.

In the days leading …

Free Online Collective Trauma Summit (Starts 9/22)

When I started Tiny Buddha, one of my main goals was to help us all heal the traumas that haunt us and hold us back in life. In much the same way that our personal traumas hinder us each individually, our collective trauma adversely affects the whole world. And healing that trauma is critical for the future of humanity and the planet.

If, like me, you want to do your part to help us all heal the wounds that are passed down through generations, I highly recommend checking out the Collective Trauma Summit, a free, 10-day online event starting …

Why It’s Okay Not to Have Everything Under Control

“Relax. Nothing is under control.” ~Adi Da Samraj

This has been an incredibly difficult, stressful, and uncertain year for me, as it has been for most people.

If I was told a year ago that in 2020, my work hours as a healthcare professional would be reduced, I would be quarantined for months in a small one-bedroom apartment with my boyfriend of seven months, I’d gain fifteen pounds in a few months, and I wouldn’t be able to travel to other countries, I would have rolled my eyes, laughed in disbelief, and thought to myself whoever is delivering this information …

What You Need to Know About Motherhood If You Feel Lost

“Being a mother is learning about strengths you didn’t know you had and dealing with fears you never knew existed.” ~Linda Wooten

It was October of 2016 and there I was staring at the wall after yet another sleepless night, nursing my one-year-old, and feeling like a total failure because this motherhood thing still didn’t feel at all natural to me. Why couldn’t I tap easily into my motherly instinct? Why did I feel that, instead of completing me, becoming a mom was actually making me fall apart?

I always knew I wanted to be a mother. It was a …

Healing From the Painful Cycle of Loss and Abandonment

“You have not been abandoned. You are never alone, except by your own choice.” ~Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Loss is never an easy experience. However, it is a part of life, so we need to accept it and find ways to cope with it in order to keep moving forward.

Whether someone dies or chooses to end a relationship, loss hurts and can leave us feeling abandoned and potentially leave deep wounds and scars.

I recently read something that suggested abandonment is a type of trauma, and it can cause symptoms similar to PTSD when the abandonment issues from our …

Giveaway: Dalai Lama’s “Inner World,” Mantras & Teachings Set to Music

The winners for this giveaway are:

If your name is listed above, please email your address to me at email@tinybuddha.com so I can get your CD set out to you!

Hi friends! I’m excited to share that the Dalai Lama has released his first music offering, an 11-track album of mantras and teachings set to music, and I have five free CD sets to give away to the Tiny Buddha community!

The CD set was actually released just recently on my birthday, August 28th, after a July 6…

Why I Stopped Chasing Money and What I Now Know About Happiness

“Money is numbers. And numbers never end. If it takes money to be happy, your search for happiness will never end.” ~Bob Marley

On January 17th, 2020, I lugged the last remaining boxes from my office and sat in my frozen car, stunned at what had come to fruition. The “be careful what you wish for” adage poked me in my tear-filled eyes. I didn’t even try to hold them back
 Months of stiff-upper-lipping-it meant the floodgates were now safe to open. Whoosh! 

No more client meetings. 
No more financial plans to construct. 
No more market-fluctuation counseling sessions. 

Pain is Not Purposeless: How to See the Meaning

“Life will give you whatever experience is most helpful for the evolution of your consciousness. How do you know this is the experience you need? Because this is the experience you are having at the moment.” ~Eckhart Tolle

Have you ever felt a general dissatisfaction with where you are in life? Ever felt like you can do something better than what you’re doing, but you’re not sure exactly what or how?

I have. In fact, I still feel this way, although I am slowly working my way toward creating a more purposeful life for myself. This can feel distressing. Painful. …

5 Things I Let Go When I Was Tired of Playing the Victim

“Placing the blame or judgment on someone else leaves you powerless to change your experience; taking responsibility for your beliefs and judgment gives you the power to change them.” ~ Byron Katie

I will never forget the day a dear friend of mine told me I sounded like a victim. I can recall I was outraged with a guy who didn’t fulfill my needs and my expectations in love. In other words, he broke up with me, refusing to fill up my cup with the precious things I didn’t know how to give myself: appreciation, self-care, and self-respect.

“How …

3 Nature Therapy Exercises to Help You Live in the Now

“Nature is the best medicine for serenity. Peace. Calmness. Stillness. It’s good for the heart.” ~Karen Madwell

I was looking for a way to stop obsessing over the future. I’d spent my adult life as an underground musician, and it had been wonderful for the large part. The thing is, it wasn’t good for me anymore.

I felt anxious onstage. I felt really uncomfortable with so many people looking at me. I had changed as a person, and yet I continued putting myself through performing even though I hated it.

Have you ever done that? Have you ever continued …

If You Feel Stuck and Tired of Waiting for Things to Get Better

“I am not a product of my circumstances. I am a product of my decisions.” ~Stephen Covey

In August 2019, I was sitting in my therapist’s office with my head in my hands. I was heartbroken over a recently ended relationship, stuck working a job I wasn’t excited about, and I was living across the country from my closest friends and family. I felt like I couldn’t do much to change my situation because I was about to enter my final year of university, and I needed to stay put.

“Sometimes, life is a logjam,” my therapist said. I visualized …

The 11 Most Common Myths About Highly Sensitive People

“I used to dislike being sensitive. I thought it made me weak. But take away that single trait, and you take away the very essence of who I am. You take away my conscience, my ability to empathize, my intuition, my creativity, my deep appreciation of the little things, my vivid inner life, my keen awareness of others pain and my passion for it all.” ~Caitlin Jap

Unsurprisingly, given my sensitivity, I struggled to fit in when I was growing up in the loud and vibrant 1970s, a decade not known for its subtlety.

I was unbearably sensitive and relentlessly …

How to Make the Best of Hard Times: The ABCs of an Empowered Mindset

“Things turn out the best for people who make the best of the way things turn out.” ~John Wooden

Aside from always wanting to celebrate turning forty in Paris at the top of the Eiffel Tower, I had another special birthday dream: to run in an international marathon.

My flight and hotel were booked, and I was going with some girlfriends to Cyprus to run Limassol.

That was the plan.

And that plan, along with the plans of my fellow eight billion humans was suddenly shut down, along with the entire world—literally, in what felt like a matter of minutes.…