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How Marijuana Was Great for My Anxiety and Why I Stopped Using It

By in Blog, change & challenges

“When solving problems, dig at the root instead of just hacking at the leaves.” ~Anthony J. D’Angelo

This is an account of my experience using marijuana as a device to help my anxiety, why I’m glad I had it, and why I no longer need it.

This story isn’t an advocation for or against smoking pot. It’s a story to shed some insight into how and why it helped certain ailments and my journey to lasting change without it.

How Smoking Pot Helped My Anxiety

For most of my life I was a closet anxiety sufferer.

That’s mostly because …

How to Reduce the Harmful Impacts of Technology

By in Blog, mindfulness & peace

“Today be thankful and think how rich you are. Your family is priceless. Your health is wealth. Your time is gold.” ~Unknown

The other day I read a science fiction story called “The Pedestrian” by Ray Bradbury. It’s about Leopard Mead, a citizen of TV-centered society, who enjoys walking at night.

The routine eventually lands him a cell in a psychiatric center because nobody understands why he does that. In the television-dominated city, people don’t walk. They’re too busy sticking their eyeballs to their screens.

I wonder if there will be a day when technology takes over us all, when …

Healing PTSD One Breath and One Day at a Time

By in Blog, change & challenges, mindfulness & peace

“Recovering from PTSD is being fragile and strong at the same time. It’s a beautiful medley of constantly being broken down and pieced together. I am a painting almost done to completion, beautiful but not quite complete.” ~Kate J. Tate

I never considered myself as a trauma survivor.

I didn’t think I had something as severe as PTSD. I reserved that diagnosis to those who suffered from things far worse than me.

It felt dramatic and attention-seeking to label myself as a “trauma survivor.”

First of all, what is trauma? The term tends to be loosely thrown around, and …

What to Do If You’re Often Annoyed with the People You Love

By in Blog, love & relationships

“When we get too caught up in the busyness of the world, we lose connection with one another—and ourselves.” ~Jack Kornfield

The quality of our relationships has a massive impact on our levels of happiness and well-being.

Nurturing our relationships requires time, attention, and effort. But it’s all too easy to become sidetracked and complacent, and to stop appreciating and truly connecting with those closest to us. Often, we feel we are simply too busy to focus on how we can improve the situation. Life seems to get in the way.

Like everyone else I’ve experienced plenty of ups …

How to Set Difficult Boundaries in a Compassionate Way

By in Blog, love & relationships

“We can say what we need to say. We can gently, but assertively, speak our mind. We do not need to be judgmental, tactless, blaming, or cruel when we speak our thoughts.” ~Melody Beattie

When I first learned about the concept of boundaries, I imagined how freeing it would feel to finally be able to say an empowered “no” at every turn. I imagined myself turning down drinks from leering strangers at bars, denying eager clipboard-carriers’ requests for money, and rejecting requests to do more than my fair share of work projects.

“‘No’ is a complete sentence” would be …

The Dalai Lama Global Vision Summit – A Free Online Event

By in Blog, change & challenges, mindfulness & peace

Since you’re a Tiny Buddha reader, I know you’re someone who understands the importance of fostering wisdom and compassion. And I imagine you’re also interested in learning how you can help create a more peaceful world, with less suffering for all.

The Dalai Lama has dedicated his life to guiding others, like a beacon of hope, along the path to a more peaceful world. His teachings and example have inspired and warmed the hearts of millions.

Over six days, Lion’s Roar and Tibet House US are bringing together 22 presenters, including Buddhist teachers, spiritual leaders, scientists, best-selling authors, scholars, and …

5 Ways to Be Your Own Best Friend in This Hard Season of Life

By in Blog, love & relationships

“Talk to yourself like someone you love.” ~BrenĂ© Brown

It has been over six months of this strange way of living. A lot is hard, uncomfortable, and painful—inside my home and outside in the world.

I find myself tired, exhausted, and overwhelmed a lot. I have two young kids; my husband and I work full time, and my home can often feel like sheer chaos.

I have mediated fights that involve blood between two young humans, and sometimes I say means words that I can’t believe I could have said to a six-year-old child. I know I could simplify …

How Resentment Affects Your Health and How to Forgive

By in Blog, healthy habits, letting go, love & relationships

“If one by one we counted people out for the least sin, it wouldn’t take us long to get so we had no one left to live with. For to be social is to be forgiving.” ~Robert Frost 

There are two things that may come to mind when you think about forgiveness.

The many spiritual healers and gurus that talk about its importance, including but not limited to Buddha quotes.

And the person you think you will never forgive.

Forgiveness has a largely religious or spiritual connotation.

In Buddhist teachings, grudges are likened to holding onto hot coal, …

How to Stop Running from, Neglecting, and Betraying Yourself

By in Blog, change & challenges, love & relationships, mindfulness & peace

“Success is how high you bounce when you hit bottom.” ~George S. Patton

Much of the difficulty and struggle that we go through in life comes from our resistance to change. At some point, we get stuck in painful circumstances, yet we fear facing our reality and doing the work required to ignite a positive change. After all, the enemy we know is better than the enemy we don’t know. It’s not that bad, we tell ourselves.

So we settle, give up on our desires, try to make the best of what we got—and that works for a while. …

My Powerful Personal Code for a Limitless Life

By in Blog, love & relationships, meaning & passion

“There is nothing outside of yourself that can ever enable you to get better, stronger, richer, quicker, or smarter. Everything is within. Everything exists. Seek nothing outside of yourself.” ~Miyamoto Musashi

This post is about a code of life. There isn’t a single code, and everyone must choose their own truth. I’ve been searching for my truth in the face of many books and since I haven’t founnd it anywhere I decided to write it myself.

What is the Limitless Life?

When I was young, my father told me, “Son, all limits exist only in your head.”

These words stuck …

What We Need to Do Before Asking “Are You OK?”

By in Blog, love & relationships

“Connection gives purpose and meaning to our lives.” ~BrenĂ© Brown

R U OK Day is a crucial campaign to address mental health problems in our community. Even prior to the pandemic, isolation, loneliness, and disconnection from each other meant that the simple act of asking “Are you OK?” needed to be prompted.

We may go days, weeks without seeing each other in person, instead relying on sporadic whatsapp messages, emojis, or comments on each other’s social media posts. We may spend all our time at our work places, but not make time to see our friends and family.

So, …

How to Know If You Should Speak Your Mind

By in Blog, love & relationships

“Integrity isn’t a morality issue; it’s an energy issue.”  ~Gay Hendricks

One of the biggest questions I, and many other people I know, face as we go about our days is this: When is it worthwhile to speak our minds, and when should we keep our thoughts to ourselves?

There are usually both good reasons and bad reasons for speaking out or remaining silent, so how do we know which is which? It all comes down to our own energy, and that is something we can learn how to discern.

Integrity means a feeling of wholeness, or being of one …

If You Think You’re Not Good Enough to Pursue Your Passion

By in Blog, meaning & passion

“I think something people need to understand is that others disliking you is not a bad thing. When you are embodying your true authentic self, it creates fear in people who still operate from the ego. If you want to grow, heal, and evolve you have to let go of wanting to be liked.” ~Audrey Kitching

Since I was a child, I have always felt a huge need to express myself and let my inspiration flow. I was a creative and playful kid, with a vivid imagination and an enormous passion for writing.

As a teenager, I became interested in …

5 Meditation “Mistakes” That Increase Our Suffering

By in Blog, mindfulness & peace

“If your mind is empty, it is always ready for anything, it is open to everything. In the beginner’s mind there are many possibilities, but in the expert’s mind there are few.” ~Shunryu Suzuki

So many of us come to meditation through our suffering. Nearly everyone who has come to walk the spiritual path can spin a tale of sorrow, frustration, and often devastation. Through our life struggles and difficulties, we become conditioned into habitual patternings of mind that seem to offer us no escape, and often turn to meditation to find relief.

I always say that anxiety was my …

What Helps Me Get Strong When Life Gets Hard

By in Blog, change & challenges

“It’s time you realized that you have something in you more powerful and miraculous than the things that affect you and make you dance like a puppet.” ~Marcus Aurelius

In 2016 I was about to graduate with high honors from a top university. I had mastered Mandarin. Eleven months before graduation, I had secured a job from a reputable accounting firm. I was in a stable relationship with one of the most gorgeous girls on campus. Life doesn’t get any better than this for an international student 1o,000 miles away from home.

Slowly, things began to change. Three months before …

How to Let Go of Your Family’s Expectations and Be Who You Want to Be

By in Blog

My parents often spoke about coming to America from Nigeria with one portmanteau.

I imagine that their suitcase was filled with their hopes, dreams, and expectations, and in many ways, I feel like I was metaphorically handed this suitcase of desires and things the day I was born. It would now be my load to carry and make sense of.

But when I opened that portmanteau, I realized that the clothes didn’t quite fit, and there were notebooks full of expectations I would never meet.

Although I had a reverence for this great object and the hands that had …

How to Audit Your Life by Asking the Right Questions

By in Blog, happiness & fun, love & relationships, meaning & passion, mindfulness & peace

“Don’t let your fear paralyze you. The scariest paths often lead to the most exciting places.” ~Lori Deschene

I first learned about the concept of focus creating reality in 2004 when I was given William Whitecloud’s book The Magician’s Way.

The first chapter is about the main character having a magic golf lesson. He learns that when people play golf, most of them think about how to hold the golf club, how to stand, and how to move the club. He calls this the “swing circle” and recounts how golfers often get caught there, rather than just focusing on …

The Art of Self-Soothing: How to Make Resilience More Sustainable

By in Blog, change & challenges

“I’ve missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. Twenty-six times I’ve been trusted to take the game-winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.” ~Micheal Jordan 

I believe that self-soothing is the key to accessing all happiness and success. All things being equal, when someone is able to self-soothe, they are more resourceful and more powerful than those who haven’t learned that skill yet. Here’s why.  

Great success (whether professional or personal) comes with a great deal of responsibility. That …

What You Need to Do If You Feel Overwhelmed

By in Blog

“You are worth the quiet moment, you are worth the deeper breath. You are worth the time it takes to slow down, be still, and rest.” ~ Morgan Harper Nichols

I want to talk about overwhelm, which is something I suspect I’m not alone in dealing with, especially given our current global situation.

Even before the pandemic struck, I was on the edge of overwhelm. I live with two autoimmune conditions—rheumatoid arthritis and fibromyalgia—both of which cause me to have health issues when I’m stressed out.

I started the year completely stressed out, thanks to a new health condition …

How to Release Your Attachment When You Can’t Let Someone Go

By in Blog, love & relationships

I’m gonna be honest here, I can honestly say that I’ve never had any cords of attachment to a person, place, or thing—that is, until recently. This cord crippled me and broke me down to a point where I questioned who I was and my own personal strength.

I think before I tell my story it’s important to know what exactly a cord of attachment is and how it can hurt you. A lot.

Afterward, I’ll tell you why cutting cords is not very effective and what you need to do instead.

What is a Cord of Attachment?

People come …