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Believing in Our Goodness: Do You Have Faith in Humanity?

By in Blog, love & relationships, mindfulness & peace

“Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase.” ~Martin Luther King, Jr.

When we hear someone speak about faith, we usually expect to hear about some kind of subjective encounter with supernatural forces. In our skeptical age, we tend to look at faith as “believing in something you know not to be true,” as Mark Twain expressed.

Before we dismiss any talk of faith, however, we should remember that there are many ways to understand the word. You can have faith in a benevolent, loving deity guiding your every move. But you can also …

Slow Down: Join the Stillness Revolution for More Peace and Joy

By in Blog, happiness & fun, mindfulness & peace

“There is more to life than increasing its speed.” ~Mahatma Gandhi

I recently treated myself to a retreat in the mountains, with the intention of pulling out of the busyness of every day life so that I could spend time healing and in reflective writing.

Setting off, I anticipated an easy drive as traffic looked light, but when I reached the mountain pass, I experienced something I had never experienced before:

I was completely blind to my surroundings.

In fact, I realized I had driven into the clouds themselves, engulfed by a pure white energy.

Not fog. Not mist. Just

…

Why We Sometimes Enjoy Pity and How to Stop

By in Blog, letting go, love & relationships

“A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.” ~Mark Twain

When I was younger, I remember occasionally hurting myself while playing outside.

If I rolled my ankle, I might fall to the ground clutching it, but not feel too bad overall. Then, when someone from my family or a friend would run up to me and see if I was okay, I’d start getting choked up.

At the time, this confused me and made me even more upset. Why could I not control myself?

I experienced a lot of self-pity, because I felt like I was weak and could …

A 4-Step Plan to Deal with Even the Toughest Challenge

By in Blog, change & challenges

“Change the way you look at things and the things you look at will change.” ~Wayne Dyer

Everything in life is perception. How you perceive life depends on the things and people that have influenced you: school, society, friends, family, TV. So, you may think something is bad or good, but in reality it is neither. You were taught to perceive it the way you do.

One person might see money as the root of all evil, while another might see it as something wonderful that can be used to help others and create opportunities. Two different perceptions of …

Silencing Your Lizard Brain: Stop Feeling Pressured and Inadequate

By in Blog, letting go, mindfulness & peace

“Serenity comes when you trade expectations for acceptance.” ~Unknown

Damn lizard brain, I hate you sometimes. Why do you always have this thirst for more? Why must you have such impossibly high expectations for everything?

It’s good to have standards, but when is it too much?

Things can be going great for me and I could have the entire world love me, yet it wouldn’t be enough.

I still wouldn’t be happy even every human on Earth left me a voicemail to tell me I’m wonderful. Instead, I’d be wondering how everyone got my number.

Why is it never enough? …

Love Yourself for What You Are Now Without Conditions

By in Blog, love & relationships

“You must love in such a way that the person you love feels free.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

Do I really love them, or am I simply afraid to be without them? Is my love an expression of freedom, or is it merely a mask that hides my insecurities? These are questions that haunted my awareness. What is love, if I am afraid to lose it?

It seemed that I was running in circles trying to catch something that was never there.

I felt as if my love was not love, but rather just a fear that saw myself as unlovable; …

When Love Is Not Enough: 4 Tips for a Strong Relationship

By in Blog, love & relationships

“Good relationships don’t just happen. They take time, patience and two people who truly want to be together.” ~JnK Davis

My husband and I were going through a difficult time a few years ago. It felt like a pivotal time in our relationship. People say that marriage isn’t easy and you have your ups and downs. Well, we were definitely experiencing a low point.

We had been together for several years; we had been high school sweethearts and were each other’s best friends.

During this time we had several issues going on in our life, one of which was my …

How to Speak Your Mind Without Making Someone Else Wrong

By in Blog, love & relationships

“Would you rather be right or free?” ~Byron Katie

Do you have the freedom to say what you really feel? Do you share your true thoughts and ideas, or do you struggle to avoid hurting, disappointing, or angering others?

It can be easier to try to meet others’ expectations and avoid conflict. We may even believe we are making someone happy by not speaking our truth. What’s the cost? Slowly giving up fragments of who we genuinely are: our authentic self.

There was a time when right and wrong worked for me. I had stability, harmony, and a …

When Everything Goes Wrong: Getting Through One of Those Days

By in Blog, change & challenges

“You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.” ~Maya Angelou

Sometimes you just have one of those days, where things happen to you over and over again, as if someone up above is testing to see if you really want to have a good day. Unfortunately, 95% of us give in and decide that it’s just going to be one of those days.

What if one of those days really meant the happiest day of your life, despite the fact unfortunate events temporarily plague your existence?

A …

Making Difficult Choices: 6 Helpful Tips

By in Blog, change & challenges

“You are your choices” ~Seneca

It was supposed to be the most beautiful day of my life. And on the surface of it, it most definitely was:

Delicious food? Check. Glorious sunshine? Check. Excited guests? Check. Radiantly happy couple? Umm…rain check?

I hadn’t chosen him. He had been chosen for me. I had agreed to the marriage without a doubt, but as I stared down at my henna-painted hands adorned with gold of the 24-carat nature, I felt poor. I felt cheated. I felt like the victim of my own decisions.

The heavy fog of doubt started to cloud over …

Forgiving People Who Show No Remorse: Have You Suffered Enough?

By in Blog, change & challenges, love & relationships

“That which I do not forgive in you, lies unforgiven within myself.” ~Buddhist Proverb

When I decided to forgive the driver that killed my nine-year-old son, I struggled to believe I could or should.

In the beginning of my grief I had so much anger toward her, and because she was not showing remorse, I wanted to find ways to punish her so that she would be in the same pain that I was.

She did not come forward to say she was sorry or try to meet up with me after the accident, and this was hard for …

Dance Through the Storm of Uncertainty: 5 Tips for Grace and Peace

By in Blog, change & challenges, letting go

“Make the best use of what is in your power and take the rest as it happens.” ~Epictetus

I am in an unfamiliar place and I find myself waiting. It is not clear who or what I am waiting for.  I then hear a gentle tapping at the door. I approach the door, but stand before it in silence.

My pulse quickens as I wait. I make no attempt to answer the knock until a voice whispers, “It is me.”  This is when I open the door. 

I awoke from this dream feeling a bit unsettled. I couldn’t remember the …

Why It’s Okay to Live a “Boring” Life If That’s What You Want

By in Blog, happiness & fun

“Remember that sometimes not getting what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck.” ~Dalai Lama

Some people know from the time they are small what they are going to be “when they grow up.”

I, at various times, was going to be an archeologist, paleontologist, veterinarian, famous rock musician, famous film director, actor, studio guitar player, music production engineer, choir teacher, choral composer, less famous film director, film editor, screenwriter, alpaca farmer, or cattle farmer.

As of this writing, I make wedding films and assist my wife with wedding photography. There is no fame, enough money, but no riches …

Making Changes When the People Around You Resist Your Plan

By in Blog, change & challenges, love & relationships

“The greatest step toward a life of simplicity is to learn to let go.” ~Steve Maraboli

So I took the plunge. I stated out loud that I wanted to simplify my life.

I wanted to have a life where what I did for a living and how I lived were more in balance with the person I am and aspired to be. The waterfall effect of that verbal declaration catapulted my life into a stratosphere of change that I am still learning to just “go with.”

Three weeks after that declaration, I got “downsized” at work. Okay, I thought, the …

Scared to Try: Moving Beyond the Paralysis of Perfectionism

By in Blog, change & challenges, letting go

“Fear is inevitable, I have to accept that, but I cannot allow it to paralyze me.” ~Isabel Allende

I am a recovering perfectionist.

Up until now, this is the only way I’ve known how to live. The thrilling burn of perfection invaded every aspect of my life to the point that I became paralyzed by fear. If I couldn’t do it right, I didn’t want to do it at all.

When I was younger, I allowed the desire for perfection to control all of my actions. In music, if I couldn’t sit first chair, I didn’t want to play …

Is Optimism Hard-Wired? 6 Ways to See the Glass as Half Full

By in Blog, happiness & fun, mindfulness & peace

“If you don’t like something change it; if you can’t change it, change the way you think about it.” ~Mary Engelbreit

My best friend called me on the phone last night. Of course, it’s not unusual to get a call from your best friend. But this call was one that really got me thinking about myself and the way I view life.

Kent has been my best friend since we were eleven years old. We met during summer camp the year after his dad died. We didn’t even like each other at first, as he was a tall, gangly geek …

4 Powerful Questions to Free You from the Daze of Fear and Inaction

By in Blog, meaning & passion

“The lives we lead have everything to do with the questions we ask ourselves.” ~Lori Deschene

You lay in bed night after night, tossing and turning, eager to push forward but unable to shake off the onslaught of what-ifs.

What if I’m making a huge mistake? What if I fail utterly and miserably? What if I’m overestimating my ability to go through with this? What-if…? What-if…?

Yet, no matter how crazy your anxiety and fears seem right now, you can snap out of it and make that new start you so desperately desire.

How do I know?

Let me …

8 Ways to Discover Your Passion and Live a Life You Love

By in Blog, meaning & passion

“Don’t worry about what the world needs.  Ask what makes you come alive and do that, because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” ~Howard Thurman

I didn’t spend two years and $100,000 for a master’s degree in counseling from an Ivy League university so that I could be miserable and hate my life fifty hours a week, but that’s what happened.

After a few years in the trenches of the non-profit world, my job had become so emotionally draining that it was taking a vicious toll on my health and causing gripping anxiety attacks. I …

People We Don’t Like: When Others Push Our Buttons

By in Blog, love & relationships

I have a confession to make: there’s someone I know who I really don’t like.

I know this isn’t exactly front-page news. It’s not like I’m the first person to ever dislike someone else. But this situation has brought me face to face with all my strongest relationship triggers.

I find it incredibly difficult to do all the things I’ve written about when it comes to this person. Let’s call him Harry. (I’ve never in my life met a single person named Harry, but let’s just roll with it.)

I regularly find myself wanting to judge Harry before giving him …

Why We Need to Accept That Some People Just Won’t Like Us

By in Blog, happiness & fun, letting go, love & relationships

“If you are always trying to be normal, you will never know how amazing you can be.” ~Maya Angelou

I’ve been a world-class worrier about what other people would think about me for a long time.

The clothes, the hair, the shoes. The books I read, the movies I liked, the music I listened to. The hobbies, the people I hung out with. The things I liked and the things I disliked.

They all got scrutinized under the “am I doing the right thing?” filter.

Am I being exactly the right amount of cool? Am I being reasonable and responsible? …