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Silencing Your Inner Critic: You Don’t Need to Torture Yourself to Grow

By in Blog, mindfulness & peace

“You yourself, as much as anyone in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” ~Buddha

I was tortured by self-hatred for most of my life.

There were aspects of myself that I had a hard time loving. I didn’t like that I am competitive, that I was not a blonde with blue eyes, that I am not good at math or managing money.

I did everything I could to hide these things. I was over-caring, over-helping, and over-accommodating others.

I think I did a pretty good job of not being myself. This created additional psychic pain in me. I …

Stop Assuming the Worst: Your Thoughts Shape Your Reality

By in Blog, happiness & fun, mindfulness & peace

“Your worst enemy cannot harm you as much as your own unguarded thoughts.” ~Buddha

My morning bicycle ride had been uneventful until I spotted a small lump in the middle of the bike path. It wasn’t a twig, a dead mouse, or a smelly “gift” from a dog, which are some of the most common sightings during my rides.

It was a perfect, intact slice of bread.

In a nanosecond, my mind created several versions of how this piece of bread had ended up where it was.

I pictured a young mother pushing a stroller and her two-year-old tossing the …

Forgiving In a Situation That Feels Unjust

By in Blog, change & challenges, letting go, love & relationships

“When something bad happens you have three choices. You can let it define you, let it destroy you, or you can let it strengthen you.” ~Unknown

There I was: numb from a conclusion of a dismissal based on a finding that there was “no reasonable prospect of success.”

Harassed, bullied, victimized, stalked both in-person and online, the Human Rights Tribunal tossed me into another discarded pile of victims to be ignored by the courts because a group of goons were cleaver enough to hide the body of proof.

My assailants comprised of four individuals. One was a divorced teacher …

Patience Is a Virtue but Don’t Wait to Be Happy

By in Blog, happiness & fun, love & relationships

“Don’t be afraid of death; be afraid of an unlived life. You don’t have to live forever; you just have to live.” ~Natalie Babbitt

And don’t wait to say what you need to say. And don’t wait to live the life you want to live.

Yesterday we lost a dear friend to cancer. Ken was sixty-eight. Five months ago he and I hung out on the beach drinking out of coconuts with a straw. We were at a personal growth retreat that my husband and I conduct every winter in Mexico.

He was the happiest I had ever seen him …

7 Benefits of a Surprisingly Simple Meditation Technique

By in Blog, healthy habits, mindfulness & peace

“Our way to practice is one step at a time, one breath at a time.” ~Shunryu Suzuki

I blinked my eyes, wiggled my toes, and carefully heaved my right foot out from under me. It had gone completely numb after twenty minutes of meditation. I prodded it tentatively.

“The idea is to be able to meditate wherever you are,” our teacher said, pouring out some green tea as we stretched, “to be really present in whatever it is you are doing—cutting the lawn, doing the dishes, whatever it is. To simply breathe in
and out…and just be.”

“You don’t have …

How to Eat Mindfully and Actually Enjoy Your Food

By in Blog, healthy habits, mindfulness & peace

“Smile, breathe, and go slowly.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

It’s Sunday night. A steaming plate of spaghetti is set in front of me. Salivating with wide eyes I grab my fork and prepare to dive in. We know how this will end. I will say to my husband while patting my tummy and undoing my top button, “Tomorrow we will start our healthy eating plans.”

This scene raises a number of questions:

Why can’t I resist the urge to inhale my meal like an out of control Scooby Doo bingeing on Scooby snacks? Even when my body is screaming “Enough—you’re …

Learning to Love and Live Again When Life Gets Hard

By in Blog, change & challenges

“The pain you feel today will be the strength you feel tomorrow.” ~Unknown

It’s when you’ve woken up with a full day ahead of you after only two hours of sleep.

It’s when there’s nothing for you to do but sit by your friends as they deal with tragedies and all the hard stuff life throws at us.

It’s when you don’t know how to handle the situations in your life that are anything but black and white.

It’s when you feel utterly helpless and powerless as you watch someone you care about aching with the deep soul wounds that …

Life Isn’t Always Fair: 5 Steps to Accept Tough Situations

By in Blog, change & challenges, mindfulness & peace

“Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be.” ~Sonia Ricotti

I hate my life! It’s a phrase that’s used by teenagers and adults alike. Sometimes we use it for dramatic effect and sometimes we mean this literally.

When I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder two years ago and said “I hate my life!” I meant every word. I hated it so much that there were times I didn’t think it was worth living.

The depression was incapacitating. The hypomania disguised itself as extreme anxiety and irrational fears.

In order to stay alive, I …

Lessons from a Former Liar: The Power of Owning Our Stories

By in Blog, love & relationships

“I now see how owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing that we will ever do.” ~BrenĂ© Brown

I don’t know about you, but I used to lie. I used to lie a lot. I remember one particular instance when I lied about being a passenger in a drive-by.

I lied about my age, my weight, and the reason for the injuries on my body. Sure, I’d just bruised myself by walking into a table, but it made a much more seductive story if I told people that I’d fallen from the rooftop of …

Book Giveaway: Guide to Loving Yourself and In the Garden of Thoughts

By in Blog, change & challenges, happiness & fun, love & relationships, meaning & passion

UPDATE: The winners for this giveaway have already been chosen. They are:

  • Vanessa Fisher
  • ljchern
  • kbennett10486
  • Jon

Today I’m excited to run a giveaway for two books that I believe complement each other nicely—the site’s latest collaborative project, Tiny Buddha’s Guide to Loving Yourself and In the Garden of Thoughts, a New York Times bestselling inspirational book, written by my new friend Dodinsky.

About In the Garden of Thoughts

I was fortunate to connect with Dodinsky on Facebook, where he runs a popular page called “Positive Outlooks” that’s followed by over two million people.

Though his heartening images and …

Get Past Disappointment: Release Expectations and Live Your Own Life

By in Blog

“Serenity comes when you trade expectations for acceptance.” ~Unknown

Several years ago, I decided I had issues with surrender. I was often angry or resentful believing my life was not playing out as it should have been.

I found a great measure of peace by performing a wonderful exercise I first learned of in Abraham-Hicks material.

I took a large rectangular piece of paper and drew a vertical line, top to bottom, down the middle. On the left side, I listed things I felt responsible for and on the right side, I listed what needed to be turned over …

When You Don’t Feel Good Enough for Someone Else

By in Blog, love & relationships

“Your outlook on life is a direct reflection of how much you like yourself.” ~Lululemon

I recently started going through what has been the most difficult situation I have ever had to bare in my life: the end of my twelve-year relationship.

I have gotten to know the darkest and most hidden places inside me, and pain so deep that I did not know we as a species were capable of feeling it.

It has been through this process and my will to endure, survive, and overcome that I have had to dig deep to find meaning and answers.

I …

The Power of Patience: Let Go of Anxiety and Let Things Happen

By in Blog, letting go, mindfulness & peace

“Your mind will answer most questions if you learn to relax and wait for the answer.” ~William S. Burroughs

Patience can be a struggle.

I know this firsthand. My experience with impatience used to be confined to overusing the microwave or skipping to the end of a long novel.

Back then, when waiting at a traffic light for more than two minutes seemed like an eternity, I didn’t know that life would teach me several advanced lessons in patience.

Shortly after finishing my morning bike ride I started feeling queasy. I wondered what was happening, but tried to ignore the …

Increasing Self-Esteem and Happiness: 8 Steps to a Fulfilled Life

By in Blog, happiness & fun, mindfulness & peace

“All that we are is the result of what we have thought. The mind is everything. What we think we become.” ~Buddha

A few nights ago I did a search on Google Ad Words to compare the words “self-esteem” and “happy.” I discovered that over fifty-five million people search for the word “happy” every month, whereas just 800,000+ people search for “self-esteem.”

Okay, I get it; we just want to be happy. But in order to be happy we need the foundation first, and the key ingredient is a healthy self-esteem. Once we increase our self-esteem, happiness comes with it.…

Bounce Back from Unexpected Challenges Stronger and Happier

By in Blog, change & challenges, happiness & fun, letting go

“True happiness means forging a strong spirit that is undefeated, no matter how trying our circumstances.” -Daisaku Ikeda

Let’s face it, whether big or small, stressful or simple, we all face challenges every day, some easier to deal with than others. Unfortunately, life doesn’t come equipped with an instruction manual to handle these challenges.

No matter how much we try to plan in advance, calculate our every move, or predict what the future will bring, we can never prepare enough for the unexpected.

The past eight months of my life have been filled with more twists and turns than the …

Love Yourself and Your Life: 7 Reasons to Buy the New Tiny Buddha Book

By in Blog, happiness & fun, love & relationships

10/9/13: The pre-order promotion is now over. You can learn more about Tiny Buddha’s Guide to Loving Yourself here!

If you visited the blog any time during September, you likely saw some of the many self-love interviews featuring contributors from the new book Tiny Buddha’s Guide to Loving Yourself: 40 Ways to Transform Your Inner Critic and Your Life.

I’m excited to announce that today is the official launch date! If you already ordered a copy on Amazon, it’s possible that you already received it, as I’ve recently learned they shipped a little early.

If you haven’t redeemed …

Break Free from Fear: The World’s a Kinder Place Than You May Imagine

By in Blog, change & challenges

“A man who fears suffering is already suffering from what he fears.” ~Michel de Montaigne

When I was an undergraduate in college I signed up to learn the Fundamentals of Modern Dance. My parents were less than thrilled.

While many of my classmates likely took such a course for an easy A or a chance to revisit their leotard-clad youths, I picked my dance courses with an unannounced and secret ambition to be an instantly amazing dancer.

This, I felt certain, was a sound place to rest my future livelihood upon.

At the beginning of each class we were told …

3 Powerful Insights About Finding Yourself and Creating Change

By in Blog, change & challenges, happiness & fun, meaning & passion

“Get out of your head and get into your heart. Think less, feel more.” ~Osho

When you’re on a spiritual quest in the chaotic outlying suburbs of Bangkok, and you’re having a complete and utter meltdown about your ability to face your inner demons and greatest life fears, where should you turn?

Well, I feel well qualified to answer this question, having been in that exact situation!

Where I turned was a peaceful little Buddhist temple, and more specifically a gentle and elderly monk named Yut.

Don’t be deceived by the “gentle and elderly” description, however, for Yut was also …

3 Often Overlooked Causes of Anxiety (And What to Do About Them)

By in Blog, change & challenges, love & relationships, meaning & passion, mindfulness & peace

“Peace cannot be kept by force. It can only be achieved by understanding.” ~ Albert Einstein

An anxious mind is a hard burden to bear. In fact, if you suffer from an anxious mind it can truly feel like a curse.

The racing thoughts. The daily tirade of “what ifs.” The relentless voice of your inner critic constantly nagging you and deriding your every move.

And the worst part is that the mental chatter feels uncontrollable. Truly, there were times when I struggled in vain to quiet my mind.

It was like there was some hub or center in my …

4 Simple But Powerful Tips to Reduce Stress and Anxiety

By in Blog, change & challenges, mindfulness & peace

“Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.” ~Charles Swindoll

I found Tiny Buddha because I have never dealt with stress and anxiety all that well, and once I became a full-time working mum of two, this had become a real issue affecting my quality of life.

It was one day earlier this year when I was battling yet another bout of the flu, and I’d just learned about something out of my control at work that would make life even harder, that I went rushing by a group of my friends, not even …