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Posts by Sara Bensman

Sara Bensman is a mediator and consultant specializing in conflict resolution. She supports individuals, couples and groups moving through conflict or separation with dignity and grace. Her reflections on divorce, co-parenting and effective communication can be found at sarabensman.com/blog.

Sara Bensman's Website

From Conflict to Compassion: Put Love Above Winning

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“Let go of your attachment to being right and suddenly your mind is more open.” ~Ralph Marston

When we face a conflict we face an opportunity to learn from pain. It’s like putting your hand against a hot burner on the stove. The burn warns that you have to do something differently.

You pull your hand back reflexively and you don’t touch the stove again. You’ve learned. As with the hot stove, if we get the lesson that is in front of us, we don’t need to keep repeating that particular pain.

Inconveniently, our natural inclination when we feel the …