Posts by Manpreet Johal

Manpreet is the creator of the podcast Heart’s Happiness, where she talks about intergenerational trauma, and is also a coach who helps people make peace with their past and rewrite their story by learning how to love themselves and their inner child. Check out her FREE MASTERCLASS, Freedom from Anxiety, where she shares her proprietary technique to help with anxiety. Follow her on Instagram here.

Manpreet Johal's Website

How Embracing Grief Can Open Us Up to a Beautiful New Chapter

By Manpreet Johal Bernie

“When we are brave enough to tend to our hearts, our messy emotions can teach us how to be free—not free from pain but free from the fear of pain and the barrier it creates to fully living.” ~Kris Carr

It’s crazy how you go about your life thinking all is okay, and then BOOM, something happens that changes you forever. Grief and loss come and hit you in the face.

You know… the days that you start as one person and end as someone else.

But it’s not your first loss or trauma! You had a childhood of pain …

5 Things I Did Because I Didn’t Feel Good Enough and What I Do Now Instead

By Manpreet Johal Bernie

“You have been criticizing yourself for years and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.” ~Louise Hay

Since I was a little girl, I believed there was something fundamentally wrong with me.

So I was always trying to find a way to fix myself and be worthy. To feel good enough.

No baby is born thinking they aren’t worthy, and neither was I—or you.

This came from our early beginnings.

I had a very traumatized dad, who I now understand was struggling with his own pain from his childhood.

He would lose his temper …

5 Ways to Heal from a Highly Critical, Controlling Parent

By Manpreet Johal Bernie

“You’ve been criticizing yourself for years and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.” ~Louise Hay

When I was growing up, it felt like nothing was good enough for my dad. And all I longed for was his acceptance and love.

He had this temper that would blow up, and he’d blame me for how he felt. He would outright tell me his behavior was my fault. That if I’d behaved better, he wouldn’t have had an outburst.

When he told me I wasn’t enough or worthy, I believed him. I was constantly walking on eggshells …

8 Painful Side Effects of Trying to Please and Save Everyone Else

By Manpreet Johal Bernie

“Empaths did not come into this world to be victims, we came to be warriors. Be brave. Stay strong. We need all hands on deck.” ~Anthony St. Maarten

From the moment I entered this world, I strongly felt others’ pain. Especially those in my house. They were not okay, and I felt it deeply.

Their intense negative emotions made me feel unsafe. I lived with my parents and my grandparents. Two generations of oppressed and abused women, whom I loved so much.

The men weren’t all bad. They were gentle, deep, and loving. But then they would switch into …

9 Things I Would Tell My Younger Self to Help Her Change Her Life

By Manpreet Johal Bernie

“You are one decision away from a completely different life.” ~Mel Robbins

At twenty-six years old, I lost my dad to suicide. I was heartbroken and so angry.

My dad was not the best. Ever since I was little, he would criticize everything I did. I was never good enough for him, and I was a place he discharged his anger through emotional insults.

It never stopped, and I was always on high alert around him. Right until the moment he took his life.

He could also be loving, kind, funny, and warm, but my nervous system could never …

7 Ways Childhood Trauma Shows Up in Your Romantic Relationships

By Manpreet Johal Bernie

“Love is the greatest miracle cure. Loving ourselves creates miracles in our lives.” ~Louise Hay

When you are unlucky in love, you tend to blame yourself for not being enough and maybe blame fate for not giving you a break already! Everyone else around you is in happy, long-term relationships, but you just can’t get there.

You might come to the conclusion that there is something wrong with you—you’re too old or too fat—and all the good ones are already married, and you will just die alone! You never think for one moment that your relationship history is playing out …

5 Surefire Signs You Grew Up with an Emotionally Immature Parent

By Manpreet Johal Bernie

“There’s no such thing as a ‘bad kid’—just angry, hurt, tired, scared, confused, impulsive ones expressing their feelings and needs the only way they know how. We owe it to every single one of them to always remember that.” ~Dr. Jessica Stephens

All children look up to their parents from the moment they enter this world. They have this beautiful, pure, unconditional love pouring out of them. Parents are on a pedestal. They are the ones who know what’s best! They are the grownups showing us how to do life!

We don’t think for one moment that they could be …

10 Ways to Calm Anxious Thoughts and Soothe Your Nervous System

By Manpreet Johal Bernie

“Everything you want is on the other side of fear.” ~Jack Canfield

Freezing in fear is something I have done since I was a child.

My first home was an unsafe one, living with my alcoholic granddad. Once upon a time I didn’t know life without fear.

I learned young to scan for danger. How were everyone’s moods? Were the adults okay today? I would freeze and be still and quiet in an attempt to keep myself safe and control an eruption.

Unknown to me, between the ages of conception and seven years old my nervous system was being programmed. …

You Can Be the Cycle Breaker: 9 Ways to Heal After Childhood Trauma

By Manpreet Johal Bernie

“It’s up to us to break generational curses. When they say, ‘It runs in the family,’ you tell them, ‘This is where it runs out.’” ~Unknown

I never even knew what I experienced was trauma. It was my normal. I was born into a world where I had to walk on eggshells, always on high alert for danger.

I held my breath and always did my best to be good and to not cause an eruption of my dad’s temper. He literally controlled my every move through fear. I agreed to anything just to feel safe and to please him.…

How I Stopped Chasing Men Who Hurt Me and Found Healthy Love

By Manpreet Johal Bernie

“There are two things you should never waste your time on: things that don’t matter and people who think that you don’t matter.” ~Ziad K. Abdelnour

“What is wrong with me?” I asked myself. Crying in the dark of the night. “Why doesn’t he love me?”

I’d tried to fold myself in all the ways I could to be loved and accepted, but it was never enough. I found myself repeating patterns of chasing men who just didn’t want me. Same cry in the night, different men.

The more I chased them, the more they ran away, and the deeper …

How I Stopped Feeling Sorry for Myself and Shifted from Victim to Survivor

By Manpreet Johal Bernie

“When we deny our stories, they define us. When we own our stories, we get to write a brave new ending.” ~Brené Brown

There was a time when I felt really sorry for myself. I had good reason to be. My life had been grim. There had been so much tragedy in my life from a young age. I had lost all my grandparents young, lived in a home with alcoholism and domestic abuse, and to top it all off, my dad killed himself.

I could write you a long list of how life did me wrong. I threw myself …

Sick of Toxic Relationships? Love Yourself Enough to Walk Away

By Manpreet Johal Bernie

“There comes a time in your life when you walk away from all the drama and people who create it. You surround yourself with people who make you laugh. Forget the bad and focus on the good. Love the people who treat you right, pray for the ones who do not. Life is too short to be anything but happy. Falling down is a part of life, getting back up is living.” ~José N. Harris

Letting go of relationships that impact your well-being and make you feel unsafe may seem like a simple act for many, but for those of …