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Posts by Lori Deschene

Lori Deschene is the founder of Tiny Buddha. She started the site after struggling with depression, bulimia, c-PTSD, and toxic shame so she could recycle her former pain into something useful and inspire others do the same. She recently created the Breaking Barriers to Self-Care eCourse to help people overcome internal blocks to meeting their needs—so they can feel their best, be their best, and live their best possible life. If you’re ready to start thriving instead of merely surviving, you can learn more and get instant access here.

Lori Deschene's Website

Tiny Wisdom: Taking Things Away

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“Beware the barrenness of a busy life.” -Socrates

If there’s one thing I’ve learned from writing, it’s that knowing what to remove is often just as important as knowing what to add.

Surprisingly, it sometimes take just as much time to write something short as it does to write something long because it entails rewriting and editing to capture the most important points with the most specific words.

I’ve found that this same idea applies to other things in life: sometimes creating peace, happiness, or satisfaction has everything to do with what we choose to take away.

You can love …

4 Myths about Doing What You Love for Work

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“Your work is to discover your world and then with all your heart give yourself to it.” ~Buddha

“Big flud strikes Revere!”

That was the headline of the newspaper I made with my sister when I was six. I hadn’t yet honed my skills as an editor, but I knew a good fake story when I heard it.

Eight years later, while wading through my anger toward several people who’d hurt me, I wrote a short book called The Line of the Virtues about the grey area between good and bad. An older coworker at my afterschool job asked, “Are …

Tiny Wisdom: What We Choose to See

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“It’s not what you look at that matters, it’s what you see.” -Henry David Thoreau

Yesterday while driving home from the dentist, I listened to this CD my boyfriend made with theme songs from various movies.

While I generally would rather do a low crawl down a muddy sidewalk than sit in LA traffic, I couldn’t have been more blissful lost in the tunes of my favorite films.

I noticed something interesting during this peaceful drive.

While listening to The Pirates of the Caribbean theme song, I recognized all kinds of exciting things happening around me. This kid did a …

Tiny Wisdom: People Who Want Attention

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“You validate people’s lives by your attention.” -Unknown

For as long as I can remember, wanting attention has seemed like a shameful thing.

“She’s only doing that for attention.” “He’s only telling that sob story for attention.” “She only volunteered to help for attention.”

Have you ever said or heard something like this? I know I have. Many times throughout my life, I’ve analyzed people’s words and actions and essentially judged whether or not their intention was to hoist themselves into the spotlight.

Every time I’ve done this, somewhere inside me I’ve thought, “It’s bad to be desperate for attention.” …

Tiny Wisdom: The Myth of the After Picture

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“Life is a process of becoming. A combination of states we have to go through. Where people fail is that they wish to elect a state and remain in it. This is a kind of death.” -Anais Nin

It’s a seductive image—the idea of when you “get there.” What you’ll look like when you lose the weight. How your life will change when you achieve success. How everything will improve when you’re finally happy.

I first began chasing “after pictures” when I was a chubby 12 year old kid. I was convinced that slim felt like peace, and I found …

The Tiny Buddha Book, Bonus Gifts, and Win a Kindle or DSLR Camera

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UPDATE: Please note that the pre-order bonus promotion described in this blog post ended on December 8, 2011.

This is a post that’s been a year and a half in the making, and I couldn’t be more thrilled to finally write these words!

Today is the official pre-order launch day for my first print book, Tiny Buddha: Simple Wisdom for Life’s Hard Questions, and I have some exciting promotions to share with you!

In this post you’ll find:

-Information about Tiny Buddha: Simple Wisdom for Life’s Hard Questions

-A description of the pre-order bonuses (totaling more than $150 in …

Tiny Wisdom: Getting Our Own Approval

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“A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.” –Mark Twain

I currently have three inch dark blond roots growing into my golden hair because I’ve decided to go natural after a decade of consistent coloring.

I’m wearing large pink flower earrings that make me smile, even though they don’t really go with the yoga pants and tie-dyed hoodie I also felt like wearing.

I’m viewing my laptop through slightly crooked glassed because I sat on them two weeks ago, but they’re still functional, and I’d rather spend my money on new initiatives for this site.

In the past, I …

Interview and Giveaway: Gretchen Rubin of The Happiness Project

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Update: The winner for this giveaway has been chosen. Subscribe to Tiny Buddha for free daily or weekly emails and to learn about future giveaways! The winner: +sp.

I was perhaps the last person on the face of the planet to read The Happiness Project.

Earlier this year, a friend connected me with Gretchen Rubin, which prompted her to interview me for her blog. After I spent some time exploring her archives, I realized I needed to learn more.

If you’ve read The Happiness Project, you know Gretchen balances ancient wisdom with contemporary research to create …

Tiny Wisdom: Knowing Why We Pull Out Our Gadgets

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“Self knowledge is the beginning of self improvement.” –Spanish Proverb

As you may remember from my post on Monday, I recently received an invitation to attend a live taping of an Oprah’s Life Class webcast.

I knew it was an interactive self-help experience, involving questions from the audience and people who Skyped in. It sounded right up my alley.

Before the taping, a woman led me and other bloggers to a reserved row and then gave us network information so we could tweet or Facebook from our iPads, iPhones, or laptops.

I only own a laptop, and I didn’t …

Tiny Wisdom: Why We Sometimes Don’t Accept Praise

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“Praise is like sunlight to the human spirit: we cannot flower and grow without it.” ~Jess Lair

There was a time when I could turn almost any positive feedback into something negative.

I don’t know if this was my attempt to confirm my unworthiness or my belief that people were usually hurtful, but I had a knack for distorting people’s words to avoid accepting praise.

If someone found me after a play and said I was a talented singer, I wondered if she was really thinking about my subpar dancing.

If a teacher told me that I showed promise and …

CD Giveaway, Relax: 6 Techniques to Lower Your Stress

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Update: The winners for this giveaway have already been chosen. Subscribe to Tiny Buddha to receive free daily or weekly emails and to learn about future giveaways!

The Winners:

Last year, a representative from More Than Sound reached out to me to share the publishing company’s new mindful driving CD, Awake at the Wheel.

As someone who frequently deals with Los Angeles traffic, I especially appreciated the opportunity to hear and share a CD focused on making the roads more peaceful.

Recently, More Than Sound connected with me again to introduce their latest offering, …

Tiny Wisdom: It’s You

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“Make the best use of what is in your power and take the rest as it happens.” -Epictetus

The one you’ve been waiting for to tell you what to do—it’s you. You’re the only one who knows what’s right for you in this moment.

The one you’ve been waiting for to fix your problems—it’s you. You’re the only one who has the power to change what isn’t working.

The one you’ve been waiting for to make the pain go away—it’s you. Whatever you’re holding onto, only you can let it go.

The one you’ve been waiting for to give you …

60 Life Lessons: Insights from Oprah’s Life Class

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Call me a traitor to my gender, but I didn’t grow up watching Oprah. I didn’t have parties with other ladies that involved a television and tissues. I didn’t fill my library according to her book club recommendations. And I didn’t live my life around the question, “What would Oprah do?”

Considering my penchant for drama back then, I was more likely to curl up to Jerry Springer than a show without paternity tests and chair throwing.

But recently Oprah called to me. Literally.

It started when the network reached out to my friend Mastin Kipp of The Daily Love…

Tiny Wisdom: When Instincts Aren’t Enough

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“Never ignore a gut feeling, but never believe that it’s enough.” -Robert Heller

A while back, a friend of mine called me crying because of a huge disappointment in her life. She made a bold decision based on gut instinct, and then expected that everything would work out as she envisioned it because she felt so certain it was the right choice.

I think what hurt her most of all was the realization that nothing is certain. Following your instincts to leave something doesn’t guarantee it will be easy to find something else. And knowing that something feels right doesn’t …

Tiny Wisdom: It’s OK to Say No

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“Half of the troubles of this life can be traced to saying yes too quickly and not saying no soon enough.” ~Josh Billings

Sometimes I feel immense pressure to do all kinds of things I don’t want to do. The reality is, I often put this pressure on myself. I think about the things I should do. Or the things I think I should want to do. Or the things other people might expect me to do.

And all this thinking can drain me—before I’ve gotten a chance to do anything. This is basically choosing to create anxiety where there …

Tiny Wisdom: Letting Go of the Stress of Rushing

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“Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.”  ~Will Rogers

It was like a scene in a movie. I was waiting to cross the street while pedestrians were crossing the perpendicular one. A number of cars were piled up, with drivers waiting to turn when the people made it to the sidewalk.

Several impatient drivers honked, as if they didn’t understand why the first one wasn’t going. So that first guy stuck his head out his window and yelled at the pedestrians, “Come on—hurry up!”

Then …

Tiny Wisdom: Sharing Moments with Strangers

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“If a man be gracious and courteous to strangers, it shows he is a citizen of the world.” -Francis Bacon

The other day, I visited a new doctor, and noticed the nurse who took my vitals seemed somewhat withdrawn. He didn’t make eye contact while taking my pulse, or engage in conversation. While I realize a medical appointment is not a social outing, I got the sense he was going over something in his head, and I found myself wanting to connect a little.

So while he was taking my blood, I asked, “Do you ever get squeamish when doing …

Tiny Wisdom: Being Honest About What You Want

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“Our lives improve only when we take chances and the first and most difficult risk we can take is to be honest with ourselves.” -Walter Anderson

One of the biggest challenges in my life has been understanding when I’m doing something because I want to, and when I’m doing it because I’m scared to do what I really want to do.

I am someone who can easily spend huge chunks of time alone. I enjoy eating out by myself, sitting solitary in parks to people-watch, and roaming around my neighborhood with only my internal monologue for company.

As a writer …

Interview and Giveaway: The Game of You by Lynn Zavaro

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Update: The winners for this giveaway have already been chosen. Subscribe to Tiny Buddha for free daily or weekly updates and to learn about future giveaways!

The winners:

Lynn Zavaro has very quickly become one of my greatest role models.

When she first submitted a post to Tiny Buddha (50 Creative Questions to Help You Create the Life You Want) I felt like she was living inside my head.

Lynn realizes that the most important factor for our happiness is coming to know ourselves—and she also understands the internal blocks that hold …

Tiny Wisdom: There’s More Right Than Wrong

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“Joy is what happens to us when we allow ourselves to recognize how good things really are.” -Marianne Williamson

Every now and then, I ask Tiny Buddha Facebook friends to share things they’re grateful for. I do this because I know that I sometimes forget how many things I’ve valued and appreciated throughout the course of my day–especially if I feel I’ve dealt with a lot of stresses and worries.

It can happen to any of us: Even one especially difficult encounter or situation can overpower all the good things if we’re not deliberate about recognizing them, and realizing …