Tiny Buddha

Author: Lauren Stewart

  • When Friends Fear We May Judge Them

    When Friends Fear We May Judge Them

    “When you judge another, you do not define them. You define yourself.” ~Wayne Dwyer

    One of the times I felt my lowest was when I found out a best friend didn’t tell me something important that had happened in her life. I felt about an inch tall when she said she feared I would judge her if she told me, and that’s why she kept it a secret.

    At that point, I broke down. Do all my friends feel this way? Why? I’ve always felt very protective of them and tried my best to be a great friend.

    I’m an only child. I’ve spent a lot of time with my parents. They’re wonderful and they’ve done a lot for me, but one thing they’ve passed on is a sort of judgmental, sarcastic type of humor.

    So as much as I joke around and I suppose, judge what others do, I always thought my friends knew that I would always accept them.

    I catch myself gossiping and talking about others, essentially judging them. I’ll admit there are times when I feel as if I’m better than someone. But who am I to think that? I’ve made mistakes. I don’t always do or say the right things. I’m by no means perfect or better than anyone else.

    Suddenly, I somewhat understood what my friend meant. Even though I hoped she knew that I would never judge her choices and I’d always be there for her—and as much as it pains me—I could see why she was afraid to tell me.

    I didn’t want to define myself as a judgmental person who people couldn’t trust to talk about important issues. Not even for one second. So I vowed to change. (more…)

  • 10 Ways to Complain Less (and Be Happier)

    10 Ways to Complain Less (and Be Happier)

    Girl in Hat

    “Instead of complaining that the rose bush is full of thorns, be happy the thorn bush has roses.” ~Proverb

    We all complain. Even if you argue that you are the happiest person in the world, you still complain sometimes.

    Sometimes we complain without even realizing it, but rarely is it helpful. Sure, a common complaint can bond two people who may have nothing in common, but too much complaining would just break down the relationship.

    For example, I once had a friend who constantly griped about her health, her family, her relationships, school, and the list goes on. Every time I hung out with her, I felt drained afterward.

    No matter what I said or did, it never seemed to cheer her up. There is no arguing that she was going through a tough time, but her negative attitude certainly made matters worse. Eventually we grew apart because it was more than I could handle at the time.

    So what happens if you are the one stuck in the negative attitude? We’ve all been there. I know I sure have. There are days when everything seems to go wrong, and complaining is the easiest thing to do.

    It’s easier to complain instead of fixing a problem, like quitting a job or having a talk with someone. But I find that when you try to see things from a different perspective and challenge yourself to stop complaining, it is possible!

    Here are some tips to stop complaining and ditch the negative thoughts so you can focus on finding solutions. (more…)