Tiny Buddha

Author: Jon Giganti

  • Embracing Vulnerability and Putting Yourself Out There

    Embracing Vulnerability and Putting Yourself Out There

    “He who deliberates fully before taking a step will spend his entire life on one leg.” ~Chinese Proverb

    I’m not going to put myself out there.

    I’m afraid to fail.

    I’m afraid to succeed.

    What are they going to say about me?

    What if I’m not good enough?

    What if they laugh at me?

    Are people going to think I’m weird?

    What are people going to think of me?

    The list of worries goes on and on. Our minds like to swim in the ocean of complacency.

    We all have fears. Let me repeat that—we all have fears. Guess what? They’re not going away.

    It’s time we embrace the fact that we need to be vulnerable. 

    I had the opportunity to see Brene Brown speak recently at the World Domination Summit in Portland.  Brene is a professor, author, and powerful storyteller. She has done some amazing research on embracing vulnerability and basically knocking fear out.

    It was an enlightening talk for me. As a guy’s guy (or at least I think of myself as one), I’m the guy that defaults to putting my armor on. Nice and tight.

    I’m challenged to put my feelings out there. I tend to put on a happy face, even when sadness hits. I default to the old school way of thinking—the “never let them see you sweat” motto. I’m working on it, however, and I’m making progress.

    My Evolution

    It’s not that I’ve never put myself out there. I started a blog in 2009 about productivity and personal development. It was hard for me to open up. A number of questions surfaced (like the ones at the beginning of the post).

    What were people going to think? Why am I qualified to talk on these topics? I finally said screw it and jumped in. (more…)

  • You Can Control What You Do Today

    You Can Control What You Do Today

    “What you leave behind is not what is engraved in stone monuments, but what is woven into the lives of others.” ~Pericles

    Life is full of challenges. These obstacles are the greatest teachers we can have.

    As I’m sure is true for all of us, I have struggled with many things throughout my life. I used to feel a sense of “woe is me,” but I’ve learned to leverage these experiences to make positive changes in life.

    Don’t let your history dominate your life. We have a choice. You can let your past be the ruler of your life—or, you can make a choice to change your attitude and perspective. 

    I grew up in a dysfunctional family. My parents showed little in the way of affection, and I dare say they stayed together “for the kids.” This was a recipe for disaster. Water boils at 212 degrees, and our family was moving closer to that boiling point on a daily basis.

    The inevitable collapse came to fruition during the summer of my freshman year of college, in 1995.  After an intense argument, I had to separate my parents from a potentially disastrous physical altercation.

    A call to the police was made, and my dad was taken to jail for the night. Twenty-six years of marriage gone in an instant. That was it. My dad moved out the next day.

    I felt extreme guilt. I was faced with unending questions about what I could’ve done to save my parents’ marriage. I didn’t allow myself to grieve. I felt the grief my parents were feeling was enough for all of us.

    I buried these feelings and numbed myself. My negativity and destructive thinking overwhelmed me. I was never the same as a college athlete, as I let my personal challenges affect my confidence. My relationship was never the same with my girlfriend. It eventually went up in smoke.

    My biggest mistake was never talking to anyone about what I was going through. I turned to drugs and alcohol to ease the pain. This only caused more problems.  (more…)