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Posts by Angela Lois

Angela Lois works as a recovery coach supporting adults with serious mental illnesses. By night, she is a professional violist.  Angela L. shares her stories of her life to combat shame and help people feel more seen.  If you would like to receive coaching from Angela or connect, you can connect with her on Instagram @angelaloie or email her at angelaloiscoaching@gmail.com.

My Insatiable Quest for Love and How I Found It When I Stopped Looking

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“I can’t say when you’ll get love or how you’ll find it or even promise that you will. I can only say you are worthy of it and that it’s never too much to ask for it and that it’s not crazy to fear you’ll never have it again, even though your fears are probably wrong. Love is our essential nutrient. Without it, life has little meaning. It’s the best thing we have to give and the most valuable thing we receive. It’s worthy of all the hullabaloo.” ~Cheryl Strayed

Like many young girls, I spent my childhood daydreaming about

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Healing from the Conflicting Loss of a Difficult Parent

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“Deep grief sometimes is almost like a specific location, a coordinate on a map of time. When you are standing in that forest of sorrow, you cannot imagine that you could ever find your way to a better place. But if someone can assure you that they themselves have stood in that same place, and now have moved on, sometimes this will bring hope.” ~Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love

I had a tumultuous and interesting relationship with my father. He was a strong, proud man in his spirit as well as in his physical appearance. In my younger years, I …

How Embracing My Sexuality Helped Cure My Need to People Please

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“If you are busy pleasing everyone, you are not being true to yourself.” ~Jocelyn Murray

The love I felt for her wasn’t like the romantic love our culture idealizes in books or movies. There was no moment where I knew that she was the one for me, and I didn’t feel lots of butterflies when our paths crossed.

Instead, the love I felt for her was deep and sustaining. While she is one of the most kind, gentle, and loyal people I had ever met, the way she loved me was the most remarkable thing to me. I could be …

What I Learned from Loving the “Wrong Person” and Why I Don’t Regret It

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“Some people come into your life for a reason, some a season, and some a lifetime. However long it was, be thankful for the gifts you received from them.” ~Unknown

When I first met him, we instantly clicked. We became fast friends aided by the fact that I was dealing with my father’s death and he was by my side whenever I needed someone. He was empathetic, easy to talk to, and very open. I related to him immediately.

Early on, it became clear to me that while we were friends, we would not make a good romantic pair. We …

6 Lessons to Remember When Someone Judges or Criticizes You

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“Every judgment, all of them, point back to a judgment we hold against ourselves.” ~Lynne Forrest

I sat across from my good friend Anna over a cup of coffee. We had been having issues in our friendship and had finally gotten together to discuss them. I’m not a fan of conflict and call myself a “recovering people pleaser,” so I was very nervous.

I noticed immediately that the conversation didn’t seem to be going very well. I addressed my issues concerning our friendship and tried hard to own my part. But Anna kept saying things like, “There are …

Letting Go of Anger: Forgiveness Is a Choice and a Process

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“Forgiving someone doesn’t mean condoning their behavior. It doesn’t mean forgetting how they hurt you or giving that person room to hurt you again. Forgiving someone means making peace with what happened. It means acknowledging your wound, giving yourself permission to feel the pain, and recognizing why that pain no longer serves you. It means letting go of the hurt and resentment so that you can heal and move on. ~Daniell Koepke

My father leaned back in his overstuffed recliner, eating the double-chocolate raspberry gelato I had just bought for him as he stared entranced at the television.

His feeble …

That Person Who Irritates You Could Be Your Greatest Teacher

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“The teacher you need is the person you’re living with.” ~Byron Katie 

On the bus home from Disney World, my best friend sputtered, “Angela, you are such a huge control freak!”

First, I went into an angry rage. I accused her, “How dare you call me a control freak! I planned this whole trip.”

Next, I resorted to pouting and pointing my finger at her, listing every possible way she was the control freak.

I was in complete victim mode. Classic, right? Little did I know that this incident would be an important self-growth tool for me.

She returned …

A Simple Way to Be Present and Live Life to the Fullest

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“As soon as you honor the present moment, all unhappiness and struggle dissolve, and life begins to flow with joy and ease. When you act out the present-moment awareness, whatever you do becomes imbued with a sense of quality, care, and love—even the most simple action.” ~Eckhart Tolle

People have always told me to stay in the present and make every moment count. I nod my head, manage to stay present for about an hour, and then alternate between living in the past and the future.

It can be a struggle to stay in the now, especially when life seems …