Tiny Buddha

Author: Andi Saitowitz

  • Where Our Strength Comes from and What It Means to Be Strong

    Where Our Strength Comes from and What It Means to Be Strong

    “Strength doesn’t come from what you can do. It comes from overcoming the things you thought you couldn’t.” ~Rikki Rogers

    A friend recently asked me: Andi, where does your strength come from?

    It took me a while before I had a good enough answer for her. I sat contemplating the many roads I’ve traveled, through my own transformational journey and the inspirational journeys of all my clients who demonstrate incredible strength for me.

    I moved to a different country, alone, at eighteen years old and have changed careers, battled a complex pain diagnosis with my child, and lost loved ones. I am now living through a global pandemic, like all of us, and most recently, I am recovering from a traumatic, unexpected surgery. Life has many surprises for us, indeed.

    So where does strength really come from?

    I wish I knew the precise answer to this question so that I could share the secret sauce with you right now, and you could have full access to all the strength you’ll ever need to achieve whatever it is that you really want. (Even the deeply challenging stuff and the tremendously scary stuff. All of it.)

    I do know this:

    Strength is a personal measurement for a truly unique, subjective experience. It’s entirely up to you to decide what strong means for you.

    And I also know this…

    Strength comes from doing hard things. It comes from showing up despite the pain or fear and going through the struggle, the endurance, and then building on that, to keep going forward and upward.

    Strength comes from taking the time to notice and acknowledge what you have managed to do and accomplish until now. So much of the time we go through things without realizing what massive effort something took, and we minimize the entire experience because we only focus on the end result and not the process.

    Strength comes from paying close attention to the small but significant steps and wins and incremental gains along the way. Strength comes from tracking progress and celebrating it one tiny bit at a time.

    Strength comes from within—from moments of activating your highest faith and belief. Knowing why you do what you do, even when it’s not easy.

    Strength comes from aligning with your core values and living with integrity even when no one is watching, and you aren’t in the mood. When we connect to what truly matters to us, we are stronger. When we believe there is a bigger plan and are hopeful about an outcome, we feel stronger. Even if we don’t know why.

    Strength comes from without—by surrounding ourselves with people who lift us up and see our worth, even when we sometimes forget. It comes from choosing to envelop yourself with kindness, inspiration, motivation, and gratitude. It comes from selecting role models and learning from them. It comes from seeing ourselves through others’ eyes—especially those who see our greatness and light when all we see is our flaws, weaknesses, and shortcomings.

    Strength comes from grabbing lessons and blessings, often dressed up as awful mistakes and painful failures.

    Strength comes from collecting moments you are genuinely proud of and taking the time to truly recognize these events for what they are and what they enabled you to accomplish. Don’t overlook them. You get to use these strengths in countless ways and in other areas of your life as much as you want to.

    Strength comes from knowing yourself. As you begin to discover and unmask more of you, you get to make choices that honor more of you, and you get to live your purpose and be more of who you really are. When we know better, we do better.

    The strongest people I know have had insurmountable trials. They know what to say yes to and how to say no. They know how to be proud of themselves with humility and honesty. They know how to pick their circles wisely and accept help, compliments, and advice.

    The strongest people I know cry a lot and feel everything.

    The strongest people I know are the kindest.

    The strongest people I know have wells of inner resources that are invisible to the naked eye.

    The strongest people I know can say sorry and forgive others.

    The strongest people I know can forgive themselves.

    The strongest people I know fall down hard, and slowly, with every ounce of courage, bravery, and might, find a way to get back up again, battered, bruised, and aching.

    The strongest people I know have incredible hearts that expand wider with each hurdle.

    The strongest people I know have endured so much and yet still find their smile to light up the world for others.

    The strongest people I know teach me every single day how to try and be just a little bit stronger myself.

  • How to Make the Best of Hard Times: The ABCs of an Empowered Mindset

    How to Make the Best of Hard Times: The ABCs of an Empowered Mindset

    “Things turn out the best for people who make the best of the way things turn out.” ~John Wooden

    Aside from always wanting to celebrate turning forty in Paris at the top of the Eiffel Tower, I had another special birthday dream: to run in an international marathon.

    My flight and hotel were booked, and I was going with some girlfriends to Cyprus to run Limassol.

    That was the plan.

    And that plan, along with the plans of my fellow eight billion humans was suddenly shut down, along with the entire world—literally, in what felt like a matter of minutes.

    It seemed almost impossible to comprehend an entire planet coming to a complete standstill, but the past five months have disrupted any experienced or perceived form of normalcy or control over our plans we assumed and believed we ever had.

    Everything I was about to do was cancelled: my trip to Cyprus, visits abroad to see my parents and family, my daughter’s birthday party, Passover Seder with all the family, school, all our social and extra-curricular activities, my key note speaking engagements and leadership trainings for teams; even attending a funeral or to grieve with friends in mourning was not allowed.

    The emotional and mental turmoil that we have faced these past months is one we have never confronted before. And amidst all these cancellations, lockdown, not to mention the emotional, health, and financial threats reminded me that the one thing we always have control over is our mindset and the choices we make to develop and strengthen our ability to choose our perspective, to change our narrative, and to practice emotional agility.

    As someone who is deeply immersed in personal development leadership and mindset mastery, I also know there are very practical and tangible ways we can make this time a little easier and more positive.

    As a result of going back to basics, I’ve used the past five months to spend time with my loved ones, appreciate the pause and quiet, complete two new workout programs, and make progress on a number of professional goals that I wouldn’t have been able to tackle had I been dwelling on the negative.

    Trust me, anyone can go back to basics. It’s all about setting an intention and following through daily with consistency and discipline. And even working on just one of these will make a significant shift in your mindset mastery.

    A – Affirmations

    Choose and repeat short, powerful “I am” or “I can” messages every day. For example: I am courageous. I can handle what comes my way. It’s not enough to merely say your affirmations, you have to close your eyes and feel and embody them. Approached this way, affirmations have the profound effect of transforming your state of mind. The more you repeat them, the more you start to internalize them.

    B – Beliefs

    Make sure your beliefs are helpful. The thoughts you have about what’s possible for you and your life govern your feelings and performance. Make sure your beliefs advance you and propel you forward. We never perform against a belief, so it’s up to us to make sure our beliefs push us toward what we truly want to be, do, and have. The best news is we can change our beliefs.

    C – Clarity

    Clarity and motivation are very closely related. When we are clear and specific about what we want, who we want to be, and what we want to do and have, that clarity fuels our motivation. Vague desires lead to vague outcomes. Clear objectives lead to clear results. Be specific about what you ask for and what goals you are working on. No one is driven by ambiguity.

    D – Dream big

    The rule for a dreamer’s mindset is “Anything is possible!” Give yourself permission to imagine what you would love to accomplish, how you would love your well-formed outcome to look and feel. Get out of your own way and leave the practicalities for later. First, you have to dream.

    When we dream, we get to separate our dreamer’s mindset from our “realistic” mindsets, which keep us locked in strategy and often clouded by what could go wrong and why it won’t work. The dreamer’s mindset gives us permission to see beyond the here and now and create the future we deeply desire.

    E – Exercise

    Our mindset thrives on good hormones. Dopamine, serotonin, testosterone and estrogen are all affected by working out. These hormones reduce stress, aid sleep, effect aging, and help with menopause.

    Exercise is a crucial part of a fantastic morning ritual. No one regrets a workout, and your body, mind, and soul will thank you too! The natural endorphin high makes us feel good, and when we feel good, our attitude, outlook, and behavior is enhanced for the better.

    F – Focus

    Whatever we focus on grows. Focus on your strengths, what you enjoy and appreciate, and what you want to create for yourself and others. There will always be distractions and temptations to try throw us off path. Let’s make a concerted effort to focus on what matters most. We always get to choose what to focus on.

    G – Growth Mindset

    People with a fixed mindset believe that qualities are inborn, fixed, and unchangeable. Those with a growth mindset, on the other hand, believe that these abilities can be developed and strengthened by way of commitment and hard work. A growth mindset plays a critical role in how you cope with life’s challenges.

    H – Happiness

    The happiest people I know have a mindset of appreciation, gratitude, and thankfulness. They live in the present moment and actively look for the positive. They see opportunities in adversity and lessons in difficult challenges. Happiness is never a destination mindset. It is about being where you are and savoring the moment.

    I – Integrity

    People with a great mindset live with integrity, in alignment with their core values. They ‘walk their why’ with authenticity and use their values as guiding lights to help them make choices and decisions.

    J – Jumping to conclusions

    One of the ways we can train our brain to combat cognitive distortions is to become aware of when we jump to conclusions about ourselves, others, and events.  A healthy mindset enables us to remember that our “mental map” is not the true terrain and that we view the world through a subjective lens. Our brain deletes, distorts, and generalizes information. Our job is to put things into perspective, question our assumptions, and unlearn unhelpful thoughts.

    K – Kindness

    A kindness mindset reminds us to practice self-compassion and empathy for ourselves and others. Life is hard, and kindness is what enables us to take risks, try again when we fall, and grow from our mistakes. It also reminds us that we don’t have to achieve things by ourselves and that collective leadership matters. Everything in life is connected, and kindness reinforces how we impact one another and how our shared purpose and responsibility to a greater good binds us.

    L – Learning

    A curious mindset enables us to ask powerful questions. The greatest asset a person can have in a disruptive, uncertain, and complex world is the ability to unlearn and learn. Which of your assumptions need to be challenged? Do you question your limits and show up in the world with a healthy curiosity and open-mindedness to see things with new eyes? Do you show up as an expert or do you show up as a life student?

    M – Meditation

    Meditation is the most wonderful gift to rewire our neural pathways and live with greater mindfulness, calm, and balance. There are so many ways to incorporate meditation into your life using simple techniques and apps. In mindfulness practice, we are learning how to return to, and remain in, the present moment—to anchor ourselves in the here and now on purpose, without judgment.

    N – New

    Scientists have discovered that novelty perks up the reward system of our brains, inciting our sense of adventure—exploring or learning something new. Our brains are made to be attracted to novelty. And it turns out that it could actually improve our memory and learning capacity.

    There’s a region in our mid-brain called the substantia nigra/ventral segmental area. This is essentially the major “novelty center” of the brain, which responds to novel stimuli. This is closely linked to areas of the brain called the hippocampus and the amygdala, both of which play large roles in learning and memory.

    O – Optimism

    Optimism is the ability to see the glass as half-full rather than half-empty. This outlook enables confidence and hope. It creates the emotional space that helps you to remain positive in the face of adversity, be creative in finding solutions, and persevere through obstacles on the way to reaching your goals.

    P – Perfect

    Actually, there’s no such thing! Life is messy and hard, and nothing (and no one) is perfect. The moment we realize this, we are free to move forward and make progress without “perfection” holding us back, keeping us stuck, and limiting us.

    The moment we drop the need for “perfect” we drop the imposter syndrome that says we’re not good enough and stop comparing ourselves to others. When we have the courage to embrace imperfection, we stop procrastinating and put our creations into the world even if they don’t seem perfect enough. We move away from the “waiting place” and start fully living.

    Q – Quiet

    Spending time alone in silence is a wonderful way to quiet the psychological noise we endure on a daily basis. It’s harder than it seems. Our lives are filled with stress, and the noise in our minds has many sources: fears, doubt, excuses, other people’s opinions, and expectations—so much pressure.

    Quiet time is exactly what we need to relax, rejuvenate, replenish, and nurture ourselves. Self-care is not a luxury. A healthy mindset requires quiet down time. Sometimes doing absolutely nothing is the very best use of your time.

    R – Reflection

    True transformation and growth are about action and reflection. We don’t want to live on autopilot just doing what we’ve always done. We want to consciously pause and reflect on what works, what we want to adjust and change, and what we want to continue to do. Making reflection part of our mindset development means we care about pausing and improvement and we are committed to doing better.

    S – Scribing

    Journaling is the most magical way to bypass cognition and get into your subconscious. When we scribe, we can tap into our deepest thoughts and emotions and start to bring to our awareness valuable insights that can advance our success.

    Journaling helps us understand ourselves and gives us a safe space to clear our minds and connect to our feelings. Emotional intelligence always begins with self-awareness. Journaling helps us solve problems, work through complex issues, and make sense of things that in our minds remain tangled. Journaling provides a private space for self-talk and opens up doors to discovering limiting beliefs and heartfelt wishes.

    T – Time Management

    A healthy mindset is a mindset that honors priorities. Do you make time for what matters most to you? Do you get your highest value activities accomplished first thing in the morning? How do you set yourself up for success? When we manage our time and realize that time is the only resource we can never regenerate, we live with purposeful intentions and are less anxious. In fact, time management is far more about freedom than getting more things done.

    U – Unique

    What makes you special? There is only one you! You have an exclusive combination of talents, gifts, and qualities that no one else has, and your purpose is to unwrap them and share them with the world. There is only one you. That is your superpower.

    V – Visualize

    The most successful people know what they want, and they visualize themselves already living that life. When you can see in your mind what you aim to achieve, you can start to create it.

    Many people aren’t aware of how powerful visualizing can be. The trick is to always visualize what you want as if you already have it. It is so important to recruit all your senses so that you experience the high-resolution details of your vision. This creates powerful mental rehearsal so that you start to get comfortable and familiar with what you are striving to accomplish and who you ultimately what to become. You get to meet your future self!

    W- Winning

    A healthy mindset begins when we create our own definition of success and stop comparing ourselves to everyone else. It’s important to focus on winning (meaning living your own ideal life), not winners (other people who you think are doing better than you), and feed your mind with positive thoughts about what’s possible.

    X: eXpectation

    Manage your expectations to put yourself in a better mental state. Failure can take a massive toll on your emotions. What’s important is your mindset before and after disappointment.

    Disappointment sometimes comes from the mismatch between reality and expectation. When you are disappointed, ask yourself: What were my expectations about these circumstances? What expectations did I have about myself? What do I expect from others and circumstances that are not in my control?

    Y – Yes!!!!

    Say yes to opportunities that challenge you. Get out of your comfort zone. Say yes to new experiences, say yes to challenges that are going to propel you forward, say yes to investing in yourself and your dreams, say yes to making a difference to others, say yes to becoming as helpful as you can be to enable others to win, say yes to loving yourself and giving yourself permission to try.

    Z – Zest

    A zest for life will change the way you process hard times, failure, or roadblocks. It’s a mental shift that opens up faith, excitement, possibility, new horizons of success, and a much deeper satisfaction. Change is tough, but zest helps you cope, pivot, and adapt more effectively and most of all, gives us the bandwidth to truly appreciate the magic and wonder that life has to offer.

    —

    Everyone I speak to is feeling a sense of grief, insecurity, frustration, exhaustion, and concern right now. I know that going back to basics won’t magically dissolve the real difficulty and mix of emotions we are all experiencing. But they truly do help us feel better.

    And when we nurture courage, resilience, hope, optimism, faith, and thankfulness, we’re far better able to work with what we have, to learn through and from tough times and find strengths we never knew we had, and to bring out our absolute best and make the absolute best out of our challenges.

    Challenges change us.

    Let’s leverage this challenge to change us for the better and propel us toward becoming the best general managers of our lives and choices.

  • 13 Insights About Relationships That Could Save You A Lot of Pain

    13 Insights About Relationships That Could Save You A Lot of Pain

    “It’s amazing how quickly someone can become a stranger; it’s even more amazing how quickly someone can become a treasured friend.” ~Unknown

    The past six months have been unbelievably difficult for me.

    My “normal” life turned upside down and inside out, as my beautiful daughter continues to fight a complex pain condition, which took us all by surprise one bright and sunny Monday afternoon. And literally, in a single heartbeat, just like that, instead of a regular routine day of school, work and afternoon activities, our time was consumed with juggling doctors, hospitals, tests, and specialists—all of us fully devoted with how to help her heal.

    Oprah so aptly says that in life, lots of people want to ride with you when you’re in the limo, but what you really want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down. Well, my friends, my limo didn’t just break down. It completely crashed, along with my world as I knew it.

    And when days and nights are both sleepless and endless, and you’re not cruising luxuriously through life in your limo but rather doing your very best at any given moment to barely crawl from point A to B without breaking down yourself, you start to realize even more so the complex, beautiful, fragile, and priceless value of real, genuine, consistent friendship.

    Sadly, a few people who I thought would walk me home sort of disappeared.

    They may have jumped off at their desired station—and I’ve come to understand that it’s alright; I truly only wish them well. Perhaps the fear that this could happen to them was all too much to bear, I get that. Or perhaps they are giving me space, I don’t know. All I know, is they aren’t here.

    Others not only ran to my bus, but jumped straight on, and continue to walk me home every single day. These people take the time to check in on me, hold my hand, let me cry, bring me food, make me laugh, and ensure I have enough coffee and love to keep on going through the day.

    I love these friends with all my heart and am so deeply thankful to have them on my journey.

    Here are some insights about people, relationships, and friendships from my bumpy bus ride that might be useful and comforting for you in your own interactions…

    1. Two people can look at the exact same situation and see it completely differently.

    I have always believed this, and I’m even more sure of this after hearing my friends repeatedly tell me how in awe they are of my unwavering strength and optimism while I have never felt more fragile, insecure, helpless, or scared. Perception is everything.

    2. We always see life as we are, not as it is.

    There actually isn’t an objective reality when it comes to people. Facts may be facts, but our viewpoint and our vantage point impact our ability to process the facts as they are neutrally.

    We look at life through our own personal filters, our own past experiences, beliefs, and paradigms. We see everything and everyone through our unique subjective lens that has been forming since we were younger.

    As Marcel Proust wrote, sometimes, the real voyage of discovery consists not in seeing new landscapes, but in having new eyes. If we are courageous enough to remove the lens through which we currently view a situation, we may discover something worth looking at, that we didn’t see before. This is true for opinions and advice. Think about a current dilemma in your life. What aren’t you considering? What are you possibly overlooking because you are still seeing the situation through the same lens?

    3. People change.

    I sometimes secretly wish we would stay exactly as we are, but I know that we are designed to grow. We are allowed to. I am learning to give myself permission to grow and change. Let yourself. Let others. Everyone deserves that.

    4. People come into our life for a day, a week, a month, a season, perhaps a year or longer, always to teach us something.

    Thank them, always. Even if they cause you pain. Some lessons hurt, a lot. In fact, during these challenging months, the voice of my workout instructor reminds me “If it doesn’t challenge you, it doesn’t change you”—true for fitness, true for relationships, true for life. Each person we meet has been brought to us as a gift. Our job is to unwrap it, whatever it may be.

    5. You are allowed to close doors to protect yourself, you may even say goodbye, but never wish someone harm.

    This is the hardest for me personally. My heart is very big and maybe too hospitable and welcoming at times. To look after yourself and preserve what you value most, you sometimes have to be selective about who you let in.

    If someone steals your joy, keep them out. It’s a basic premise of safety and security. Give someone the benefit of the doubt—until they give you reason not to. Then don’t.

    There is a critical difference between being a volunteer and being a victim. The first time someone hurts you, you may or may not see it coming. Like me, I always try see the best in people. And when it hurts and you face a blow to the heart, you come crashing down because you never expected that or foresaw it coming your way.

    If the same person hurts you again, it’s now up to you to see them coming. It’s up to you to set new boundaries to protect yourself. You can be kind to everyone, but not everyone belongs in your inner circle.

    6. You may be willing to do more for others than they do for you.

    Don’t change who you are. Keep doing your thing. People may surprise us. Sometimes they really let us down. Others may step up in ways we never imagined. If you keep a checklist, you’ll often be disappointed.

    Never do things for others just because they would do things for you. You get to decide what kind of person you want to be. And if you choose to give 300%, then go for it, regardless of what others give you in return.

    If you do something for someone just because they did it for you or you want something back, you are doing business, not kindness. Just be yourself, without calculating what you’re receiving in return. When we live this way, we come from a place of generosity and abundance. It’s so much nicer to live this way.

    7. Choose your inner circle wisely.

    We have limited energy. Choose to surround yourself with people who make the time and effort to lift you up, who genuinely care about you, encourage you, and want to see you win. Our time here is limited, precious, and fragile. Choose your sacred relationships, friendships, and partnerships wisely.

    8. Actions speak louder than words.

    We can have the best intentions in the world, but our lives are measured by our actions. If you mean well but don’t do well, no one can read your mind. At the end of the day, what counts is what we do.

    I am all for giving people the benefit of the doubt—often only seeing the goodness in others myself—but when you are in a tight space, what you really need at the end of the day is someone to help you breathe and get you out, not just someone who thinks about you but doesn’t show up and hold out their hand for you to grab.

    That being said, sometimes people can’t show up for us because…

    9. People are always fighting battles we can’t see, or may know nothing about.

    Remembering this will help us be patient, kinder, more empathetic, and far less critical and judgmental. Life is hard and some days we dress up and show up using every ounce of energy and willpower we can possibly muster. We can’t be in top form all the time. No one can. We are human beings, not human doings, so let’s try to notice what’s going on with the people around us.

    10. Minimize the drama.

    We have limited energy, especially when going through a hard time, as I’ve been lately. Let’s preserve our energy for our goals, passions, purpose, and doing more good. We do not have to attend every drama we’re invited to. Decline the invitation and keep moving.

    If you feel you’re getting sucked in to drama—gossip, or creating conflict where there doesn’t need to be any, for example—take a step back and pull away. Keep yourself focused on your needs, your passions, and your purpose. Drama isn’t good for anyone.

    11. It’s okay to gently drift away from people.

    There are seasons when gardens bloom and other seasons where branches lay bare. Let it go, let nature do its thing. We can’t force a flower to grow. Energy is real. If your intuition or gut says someone isn’t right for you anymore, listen carefully.

    12. Not everyone is going to love you or your choices.

    Your job is to love you and your choices. Your tribe will find you. If you live your life according to your values, and you make choices in alignment with them, the right people will be attracted to you and you will gradually ensure you are surrounded by people who are your best fit. Keep doing your thing. I have seen this so beautifully over the years. and when I look at my closest friendships and relationships today, it is testimony to this.

    13. Relationships, friendships, partnerships—they don’t work unless we do.

    Don’t assume that just because someone has been in your life for years, they are going to want to stay there. These are precious, treasured, cherished interactions that require thoughtful investment, attention, love, and care.

    If you want someone in your life, show them. Spend real time with them, genuinely check in on them, do your best in your own unique and special way to help them wherever you can, have fun with them, cry with them, celebrate with them, and please catch the bus with them.

    We are all just walking each other home.

    Who are you walking with?

    You have to really be in someone’s life in order to stay in someone’s life.

  • The ABCs of Personal Growth: How to Live a Meaningful, Fulfilling Life

    The ABCs of Personal Growth: How to Live a Meaningful, Fulfilling Life

    “Life is change. Growth is optional. Choose wisely.” ~Karen Kaiser Clark

    Throughout my life, I’ve moved countries, studied a foreign language, changed careers, launched a business, run a half marathon, written a book, faced agonizing loss and grief, won awards, been deeply hurt, created awesome charity campaigns, lived with huge uncertainty and pain, found love and friendships to cherish, and given birth to three miraculous humans.

    Throughout these and plenty more crazy, insane, complex, and utterly beautiful life events, I have collected treasured building blocks that help me live a life of meaning, purpose, and joy every single day.

    I want to share them with you in the hope that throughout your own daily trials and triumphs, you can use these ABCs to help you create a life you love.

    Transformation is not a switch; it’s more like a gauge.

    The beauty is that you don’t have to flip a button and practice and internalize all twenty-six letters instantaneously.

    Like learning anything, start with just one at a time.

    Once you’ve mastered it, add another.

    With consistent repetition, you’ll be fluent, and these personal growth building blocks will lay a magnificent foundation for all your life’s work.

    You are the author. You hold the pen. You get to learn and read and write your own masterpiece, chapter by chapter, line by line, letter by letter.

    You are the hero of your own story.

    So let’s get back to basics: the ABCs of personal growth.

    Acknowledge:

    Knowing your strengths, talents, and abilities is the first step to unleashing your potential and power and creating meaning and lasting transformation. We are all blessed with so many wonderful gifts, but we can’t unwrap and share them with others if we fail to acknowledge what they are. Acknowledge yours today! What are you good at? What do people come to you for help with? What experiences have you gone through, and what have you learned from them?

    Blessings:

    Blessings are all around us. If we choose to look for them, we will certainly find them. What are you grateful for? What makes you smile? What positives do you notice in your life right now? Each day, look for three things to be grateful for. These blessings multiply!

    Control:

    There are so many things in life that we have very little or no control over—what happens to us, what other people say or do. We are not the general managers of the universe. However, we have incredible control over how we choose to respond to every experience we encounter. Our control lies in our attitude and our behavior—our choices. Choose wisely.

    Discipline:

    The master key to success lies in discipline. We are surrounded by enticing temptations and obstacles that deflect us from our goals all the time. Discipline is like a muscle; the more we work on building this skill, the more we develop excellent habits that bring us closer to achieving our biggest success.

    Discipline means asking yourself: What is the very best use of my time right now? And then consistently following through. Small increments every day lead to tidal waves of success—step by step, day by day with consistent discipline and dedication.

    Encouragement:

    We are all fighting battles, and a gentle word that offers hope and support can literally save a dream.

    Are you an encourager or a critic? Do you accentuate problems or encourage solutions and creative thinking? Do you lift people up? Are you inspiring, motivating, and supportive of helping others to get further and reach higher? When we lift others up, we rise. Commit to becoming the most encouraging person you know. The world needs more cheerleaders desperately!

    Focus:

    What would you be doing with your time if you knew you had only six healthy months left to live? Focus all your time, energy, and resources on the things and people that truly matter most to you.

    Vague goals produce vague results. Blurry goals yield blurry outcomes. Take the time to get clear about where you are going and what you’d like to accomplish. Write this down. Then focus. Whatever we focus on grows. Get clear and then laser focus on your most meaningful priorities. Don’t sweat the other stuff. Keep it simple and focus on what you care most about.

    Give:

    Giving to another person and knowing our contribution has had a lasting impact creates true happiness and peace of mind. Anytime you give, you grow; every time you give, you get, whether it’s a kind word, giving charity, volunteering, or connecting to a cause that speaks to you. Your giving has the power to light up the world.

    Ask yourself each morning: How can I give of myself today? How can I show up more fully? How can I be of value and service today? How can I contribute today? What difference can I make today?

    Help:

    Think about the people you look up to, those who already are where you’d most love to be. Ask them how they did it. Reach out to the experts. Spend time with them. Learn from them. Get their help. Use the love and support of family and friends to spark your bravery and courage.

    Asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness. Make a list of where you need a hand and a list of people who could become your greatest helpers on your journey. We’re beings of social interest. Helping is who we are. We thrive when we help.

    Give and get help wherever you can. It’s a showcase of wholehearted and vulnerable living, which makes you real. People like helping real people. We’re all just walking each other home at the end of the day. That’s what it’s all about.

    Inspiration:

    Read, learn, blog, journal, go to classes and talks and lectures that inspire you. Commit to starting and ending your day with inspiration. One minute of inspiration can ignite a passion inside of you that can alter the course of your life forever.

    Get out more, be curious, ask questions, become more open-minded. Inspiration is everywhere. Look for it. Inspiration is what charges us. When we are charged we grow. When we grow, we are happy.

    Joy:

    Choose to become joyful. Appreciate the gift of life. Each moment is precious, and fragile, and denied to many. Laugh and smile, have fun, and lighten up. If you see someone walking around without a smile, offer them one of yours.

    Not feeling like you have joy to share? What lights you up? Do you have a list that you can plug into your week?

    My joy list includes: a delicious cup of coffee, time with the people I love, a great run or workout, reading something magnificent, laughing and watching the sunset, to name but a few. I make sure to do these daily. You’d be amazed how many people love writing and sharing their joy list, but they forget to schedule and do the very things that bring them joy. Create your list and then live it—joyfully.

    Kindness:

    Imagine a world where each person is deeply and truly devoted to kindness. Let’s work on being the kindest spouse, friend, parent, manager, employee, coach, and child we can be. I truly believe that kindness is the only thing that will change and save the world. Tiny acts of kindness create ripples so far and wide, we can’t begin to comprehend just how far they can reach.

    Learn:

    I am known to be a forever student. As I complete one course, I enroll in another. My bedside table has a tower of books and I soak up learning with a desert-like thirst.

    When we learn, we open our minds and discover new possibilities. We can learn to pioneer anything! The sky is the limit. Let’s give ourselves permission to try new things, take risks, and be humble enough to learn from new leaders and teachers.

    Lessons are all around us. Failure can become our greatest teacher. Mistakes can become our greatest mentors. Make sure you spend time with people who know more than you. It’s humbling and awe-inspiring. Write a list of some of the things you’d love to learn this year. Each day, record one new thing you didn’t know before. Watch your horizons expand exponentially!

    Mindfulness Meditation:

    Slow down. Take time to breathe. Mindfulness offers incomparable value to the human spirit, psyche, and body. Dedicate a set time each day to pausing, being truly present, and listening to your soul and inner wisdom.

    The research available on the huge benefits of meditation is mind-blowing. Treat yourself and everyone you love to the gift of meditation. Even a few minutes a day has the power to awaken, elevate, transform, and enhance your life in ways you can’t begin to imagine.

    Neuroscience has evidence today that meditation literally rewires your brain and can change your thinking, habits, and negative beliefs. It’s miraculous and it’s accessible to every one of us. Try it for yourself. Start to live a mindful life of greater peace.

    Never:

    Never give up. Never do a permanent act based on a temporary feeling. Never say, “It’s impossible” when really, it’s just hard. Never listen to naysayers and non-believers. Never push aside a dream that means the world to you because of the time or effort it’s going to take to make it happen.

    If today, “Never” is all you do, it’s more than enough, it’s plenty; in fact, it’s everything.

    Optimism:

    When we are optimistic, failure is merely feedback giving us significant information; hardships are learning experiences that help us grow and build resilience for bigger things; and even the most miserable day always holds the promise that “tomorrow will be better.”

    Today, when faced with adversity, ask yourself: What would an optimist do right now? What would they try? What’s might be possible because of your optimistic outlook? What can you see that you never saw before?

    The optimist sees the sunset and knows that even the most awful days can still end beautifully. The optimist knows that a few steps backward after moving forwards is not a disaster, it’s just a cha-cha, and the optimist knows that the cup is refillable!

    Prioritize:

    Prioritize your life so that your highest value activities take preference. Enhance and refine your time management skills so that you are able to identify what tasks you need to tackle first. Say yes to your priorities and make each day count. When you live this way, there is no regret.

    Complete your highest value activity first so that it’s done. Done is better than perfect. Get the important stuff done before anything else. Always prioritize in writing. It’s not enough to merely think about what matters most to do; grab pen and paper to record and track your priorities so that you can measure and accomplish them every single day. Start today. Plan for tomorrow. Celebrate a life that’s not wasted!

    Quit:

    Originally I was going to share a long list of things to quit—like complaining, making excuses, indulging negative habits, staying in the same place when you’re itching to move, and letting fear and naysayers control your life. Then I realized it’s human nature to do some of these things from time to time. So work on these things, but quit being hard on yourself when you struggle.

    You will never be able to completely stop doing all things that are unhealthy for you, but you can always give yourself credit for trying.

    Release:

    What are you carrying right now that is too heavy? Every day, practice letting go of the things that weigh you down.

    It’s not easy to let go of regret, mistakes, anger, resentment, ego, jealousy, and comparison, but each day offers us abundant opportunity to practice. Try to catch yourself when you’re getting caught up in a story in your head so you can take a few deep breaths, center yourself, and free up your energy for the people and things that bring you peace and purpose.

    Sorry:

    We all need to learn how to apologize to those we’ve hurt, intentionally or unintentionally. And though we all deserve the same in return, we also need to learn to accept an apology we were never given. Then, we can move forward without anger. Forgiveness is a gift both to others and ourselves.

    Let’s decide today to be courageous by apologizing or offering forgiveness.

    Turning the page allows us to move on to the next chapter of the story. We can’t do this if we keep re-reading the one we’re currently stuck on.

    Thank You:

    We all want to be acknowledged for our efforts. “Thank you” is such a simple phrase, yet it means so very much.

    Recognizing what others do for us not only reminds us to be modest and humble, but it opens doors to more deeper and meaningful relationships, enhances our empathy, and improves our psychological and physical health.

    Who can you thank today? Start with one person and extend your appreciation as far and wide as you possibly can.

    Unplug:

    Unplug from technology. Switch off. Spend time with yourself, by yourself. One of the greatest discoveries of self-transformation and personal development is not only getting to know yourself, but getting to like what you find.

    Connect to all your loved ones. Look people in the eye. Listen with all of your senses. We miss out on so much when we are plugged in to devices rather than to hearts.

    Spend time in nature. How can you redesign your day so that you create time outside? Do you take regular breaks? When was your last vacation? When was the last time you admired a flower? Do yourself a favor when you have the time. Take off your shoes and go walk outside barefoot on the grass. Watch the sunset. Play with a ladybug. Stare at the clouds. Just be.

    Voice:

    Speak your truth. Wear your passion. Let people know what you care about. Let people get to know the real, beautiful, one-of-a-kind you and what you stand for.

    You have a unique voice. You have greatness within you. You have something the world needs. That’s why you are here. Use your voice to speak your goals. Use your voice to care. Use your voice to inspire. Use your voice to make positive change. Use your voice to pray. Use your voice to sing. Use your voice to laugh. Use your voice to help. Use your voice to care. Use your voice to love. Speak up.

    Work:

    Even the most brilliant, tried-and-tested life tools in the world can’t work, unless you do. There are no quick fixes or magic wand. Real transformation is a slow, gradual, and real process that requires hard work and consistent effort. With commitment and dedication to working hard, nothing can stand in your way of moving forward.

    Hard work means that we are willing to try, fall, and stand up again; we are willing to be bold; and we are willing to face ridicule and criticism. Work on your goals each day, step by step. We are designed to grow. As we work toward our dreams, with patience, comes tremendous reward. What you put in is what you get out.

    eXtra:

    Don’t be someone who just does the bare minimum required in life. Go the extra mile and do more than you did before.

    Expand your comfort zone with extra focus, extra power, extra love, and extra drive.

    The difference between ordinary and extraordinary is just that little extra. Today, where can you show up a little EXTRA?

    Yesterday:

    Leave it behind. Glance back to see how far you have come, but keep moving forward. Leave your past mistakes behind you. Yesterday just determines your starting point for today. It in no way predicts how far you can go.

    Live now, savor the present, and plan wisely for tomorrow. Don’t get stuck in what was, you don’t live there anymore. Today is a new day to set new intentions, get inspired and motivated, and start taking meaningful action toward your goals.

    Zest:

    Do you do things just because, or do you do things with fervor, zeal, passion, energy, and enthusiasm?

    Where in your life are you still fast asleep? Where are you merely snoozing or drifting aimlessly?

    Now is the time to wake up. Choose one thing to do today that makes you come alive.

    Today, you get to decide to be accountable, not helpless; you get to decide to be interested, not indifferent. You get to live your life today on fire. You get to put your whole heart into something.

    What is the first thing you’re going to do, right now, to get the momentum rolling?

    —

    Each of these building blocks can stand alone or stand together. Choosing to work on even one of these will have a powerful positive effect on your life. Whether you are the kind of person who prefers a step by step process, one letter at a time, or you love to dive in deep and work on multiple tracks, these ABCs will give you an outstanding foundation on which to build a more purposeful, happier, and fulfilling life.