Tiny Buddha

Author: Amanda Christian

  • If You Feel Stuck, Stressed, or Burnt Out, Nature Is the Solution

    If You Feel Stuck, Stressed, or Burnt Out, Nature Is the Solution

    “I go to nature to be soothed and healed and to have my senses put in order.” ~John Burroughs

    Nature is a big part of my life, as I spend a lot of time outdoors.

    When I first started hiking and backpacking, I liked being able to explore new places and get some exercise outside.

    In my twenties, I traveled throughout the Western United States hiking in the mountains and discovering the incredible desert. I moved a lot, I tried new things, and I kept craving more time in nature.

    Over the years, I started to realize that the benefits of my time in nature went way beyond physical fitness and seeing beautiful views. Of course, it felt good to exercise, and I loved the views of snowcapped mountains and red rock arches in the desert, but I started to notice other ways nature enriched my life.

    Below are some of the benefits I’ve experienced from spending time in nature that have nothing to do with physical fitness or how far you go.

    1. More self-awareness

    It’s easy to go through the whole day without ever taking a moment to be aware of your breathing or what is happening right here, right now.

    I started to notice that when I went outside for a hike, I naturally became more self-aware and more focused on the present moment.

    My time in nature started to become meditation for me. Walking among the trees or sitting around a fire on a chilly fall night helped me quiet all the chatter in my mind and land right in the present moment, open and curious about what’s around me.

    I would start asking myself how I felt in the moment. I noticed the leaves under my feet and the air filling my lungs.

    In nature, I find it easier to focus on deeper thoughts, creative ideas, and solutions to problems.

    For example, last summer I was offered a new position at work and I couldn’t decide if I should take the job. I thought about every possible scenario in the future and just felt overwhelmed and stressed about the decision.

    Luckily, that weekend I had a backpacking trip planned.

    Within an hour on the trail, I confidently decided that I didn’t want to take that job. The decision was no stress at all because I’d created the mental space necessary to find clarity and access my intuition—without stories about the past or future getting in the way. Now, when I need to make a decision or feel creatively stuck, I head into nature to sort it out.

    2. More gratitude

    On any given day, you probably have a lot going on, right? And while you’re tackling your never ending to-do list, you’re probably also responding to the constant stream of notifications on your phone.

    There’s so much focus on bigger, better, greater, and faster that it’s all too easy to get swept up in what you don’t have or all that still needs to get done. And considering how much time we spend on social media, it’s easy to compare our lives to someone else’s.

    I tend to focus on what I need to accomplish instead of really appreciating all that I have done and how hard I have worked. When I do this, I feel so much more stressed, anxious, and like I’m not doing enough.

    But every time I go on a backpacking trip or a camping trip, I’m always amazed by how quickly I completely forget about social media, my phone, and everything I lack or need to do.

    I’m more aware and appreciative of how much I do have.

    All of a sudden, a thought that was causing so much stress and anxiety becomes just a thought.

    I don’t know if it’s the space, the trees, the fresh air, the smell of the plants, or a combo of all of these things, but when I go for a walk in nature, I come back feeling so much more grounded and less anxious.

    I’m not so easily swept up by every thought that floats through my head, and I feel so much more awareness and gratitude for what I have—a healthy body that can walk outside, the supportive people in my life, how far I’ve come, and fresh air to breathe.

    3. Recovery from mental burnout

    Some of my best ideas come during or after a trip outdoors, and other people I hike and camp with have said the same thing!

    The study of how nature affects the brain is on the rise. The Attention Restoration Theory (ART) hypothesizes that nature has the capacity to renew attention after exerting mental energy.

    We modern day humans have a lot going on. We’re all over social media, we usually don’t get enough sleep, and our to-do lists are often very long. It’s crucial that we take time to rest and recover so we don’t burn out from mental fatigue.

    For me personally, I’ve always felt renewed after a good hike or camping trip, even long before I heard of the Attention Restoration Theory. It’s like hitting the reset button, and I return to my life in the city feeling renewed and energized.

    I invite you to try it out for yourself! Next time you’re feeling mentally burnt out or you’re having trouble focusing—maybe you just crammed for a big test or presentation at work, or you’ve been overwhelmed with personal matters—plan a local hike, camping trip, or a walk through the park without looking at your phone. Notice how you feel afterward.

    Simple Ways to Experience Nature

    While I love going on long multi-day hikes and backpacking trips, you don’t need to do that in order to experience the benefits of nature.

    Here are some ways to get outside that don’t involve hiking:

    • Visit a local park and sit in the grass under a tree.
    • Sit by a stream, lake, or ocean, close your eyes, and focus on the sounds around you. Then, focus on your breathing for a few minutes.
    • Visit a local greenhouse and walk around. Admire the plants and smell the flowers. This is something I love to do in the winter months!
    • Plant a garden. If you have the space, this is a wonderful way to experience nature!
    • Plan a car camping trip with family or friends. Sit around the campfire, tell stories, roast marshmallows, and sleep under the stars.

    If you’re feeling confused about what to do, overwhelmed by your to-do list, or mentally burnt out, it can help to spend time appreciating the wonder of nature and letting your mind relax.

    There’s an entire natural world that’s incredible to sit and watch. The more time I spend outside, the more I’m learning that it’s not so much about how far you go, but what you notice along the way.

  • When You Want to Make a Change but Feel Confused and Scared

    When You Want to Make a Change but Feel Confused and Scared

    “Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

    Have you ever had an inner knowing that it was time to make some life changes, but you felt too confused to make them?

    I’ve certainly felt that way a time or two. After I graduated college years ago, I felt completely confused about what I was going to do with my life. I was asking myself questions like: How am I going to find meaning? What should I do for a career? How can I make my dreams a reality?

    But what if you feel so confused about your life that you end up doing nothing?

    I remember moving home after college, lying in bed and reading fiction books for hours. I wanted to escape from the intense confusion and endless questions running through my mind.

    The reality is, I was scared. I was scared to start a job, but also scared not to. I was scared to move away from the comforts of home, but deep down I couldn’t wait to get out. I was scared of the unknown, but also excited by the fact that anything could happen!

    I was afraid to make a change, so I tricked myself into thinking that it was too complicated and confusing. For a couple months I did nothing, and my frustration grew.

    Fear-based confusion is when you have an inner knowing that things are “off,” or you want to make a major life change, but you feel too confused to take action.

    It seems like there are too many problems, unknowns, reasons why-not, or decisions that are too difficult to make. So you stay confused.

    Does this sound familiar? Maybe you’re confused about making a career change, moving to a new city, ending a relationship, or getting your finances in order. I think we’ve all experienced this fear-gripping confusion in one form or another, and I know how frustrating it can feel.

    I’ve noticed that when you’re aware we’re confused because we’re scared, it can drastically reduce your stress about it.

    You’re certainly not alone or helpless. And luckily, fear-based confusion is easy to move beyond. Below are my top ways to move through life confusion and finally get clear on what you want so you can take action toward it.

    1. Follow your excitement.

    If the fear runs deep, following your excitement will help. For example, instead of trying to answer the question, “What should I do with my life?” ask yourself, “What excites me right now?”

    Make a list of all the activities and experiences that excite you, but try not to judge your list. For example, simply riding my bike to a local cafe for some homemade chai in the morning really excites me. It doesn’t matter if things on your list seem small or insignificant.

    There are several benefits to following what excites you in this moment. One, you start to feel more excited about your life. And two, your excitement usually leads you to people and experiences that will help you set a direction for yourself (more on this below).

    Follow what excites you now, and know that your sources of excitement are going to shift and change as you grow.

    Following your excitement is much less daunting than trying to figure out your whole life. In addition, it leaves room for expansion and gives you the freedom to continually try new things.

    2. Decide on your direction.

    Decide very clearly on the direction you want to go in. Making a clear decision is the quickest way out of confusion. I know this sounds obvious, but sometimes we have insane inner thoughts that hold us back. Thoughts like, “I’m not good enough” or “I don’t deserve this.”

    But you most definitely are good enough, and you do deserve peace no matter what you’re telling yourself. Believe in yourself enough to make a decision and know that you will make the right one. Don’t worry about making a “bad” decision. In my opinion, making no decision at all is often worse.

    In my example above, after a couple of months living with my parents and sinking deeper into my confusion, I decided to pack a backpack and travel to Spain. I didn’t really have any idea how that was going to help me answer my “big” life questions, but it excited me.

    When I got back home from that trip, I felt confident and even more excited. I then made the concrete decision to move across the country to Northern California, and that completely changed everything for me.

    The point is, it didn’t really matter what I did. It was my initial decision to do something that got me out of my confusion.

    Once you make the initial decision, the Universe will start to provide you with people and experiences that help you move forward. Breathe, become aware of how your decision feels in your body, and act on whatever option has a sense of lightness and openness to it.

    3. Release your expectations.

    Expectations lead to disappointment. Usually, when we finally make the decision to change, we proceed to come up with a detailed plan for how it should all go down. We immediately search for something that will make us feel secure in the face of change.

    But the truth is, you can manifest change much more quickly when you open yourself up the all the possibilities that you haven’t even thought of yet.

    It’s perfectly okay to focus on what you want, but I like to try and leave the details to the Universe and simply focus on what I’m excited and capable of doing right now. This allows you to feel joy now instead of making your joy dependant on a certain outcome in the future.

    You are meant to be here. As you focus on following what excites you in this moment, the clouds of confusion begin to part and you can see your direction more clearly. Then, moving toward it with inner confidence becomes natural.

    It’s okay to feel vulnerable in the process, but I know from experience that the vulnerability associated with change is completely worth it. You’re worth it. Don’t let the confusion hold you back a moment longer. Once you take the first step, everything else will unfold for you.

  • 3 Questions To Ask Yourself Before You Enter A Relationship

    3 Questions To Ask Yourself Before You Enter A Relationship

    Kissing Couple

    “Love does not obey our expectations; it obeys our intentions.” ~Lloyd Strom

    Recently, I did something radical; I entered into a relationship with the intention of extending love. I consciously set the goal of peace.

    It’s with the intention to experience more peace than ever before that the relationship began, and it’s with that same intention that we decided to end the relationship. In between it all, I felt deeply connected, heard, and loved.

    What did I do differently this time that allowed me to experience a new level of peace and love? What about this relationship created the space for us to peacefully “break up”?

    Unlike other relationships I had that seemed to pull me deeper into fear, this relationship accomplished the complete opposite—helped to release me from it.

    Whatever I did differently with this one, I wanted to bottle it up! As I took some time to reflect, I realized that what I did differently comes in the form of three simple miracle-minded questions that I asked myself before I even entered the relationship.

    The three questions below helped me step away from fearful relationships based on getting and filling my perceived voids and instead, helped me step into a loved-based relationship built on extending the love and completeness I found within myself first.

    And what a difference this shift made in my experience!

    The next time you find yourself getting ready to join with someone in a relationship (or even a friendship) ask yourself these questions first:

    1. What is this relationship for?

    In the past, I would just jump into relationships without any real intention set at the beginning. I wanted the attention and for someone to prove I was lovable. I wanted to get more than I wanted to extend. I was motivated by ego fears and desires to fill my perceived voids.

    The way we move beyond these ego fears is by stopping and asking ourselves, “What is this relationship for?”

    Without a clear goal set at the beginning, it’s easy to get lost and stuck in a fearful place. So with my last relationship, we decided that our goal would be peace, and that we wanted to help each other remember the truth about ourselves instead of getting lost in the illusions about ourselves. What is this relationship for? To extend peace.

    And this makes all the difference. When you do find yourself in a disagreement, you can remember that your goal is peace and then act accordingly.

    The value of setting a goal in advance is that it will pull you through the tough times. Without the goal, it’s easy to get caught up in the ego’s drive to be right or justified. Having a common goal in mind allows you to move forward together instead of working against each other. In my last relationship I found that a shared goal connected us and gave us something to focus on.

    2. What limiting beliefs are blocking me from authentically connecting?

    A lot of times when we don’t experience something we say we want, it’s because we have some underlying fear associated with getting it.

    For example, if you say you want to experience a deeply loving relationship and it hasn’t shown up yet, it might be because deep down you’re scared of it. I know for me, I said I wanted to have a loving relationship, but when I got honest with myself, I realized I was actually scared of falling in love.

    Somewhere along the line I decided that being in love would make me weak and vulnerable. When I went even deeper, I noticed that I had the belief that I wasn’t good enough yet to be loved. I didn’t think I was skinny enough, successful enough, or funny enough, and deep down I was scared that other people might find that out, too.

    So what do you do when you realize you’re scared of what you want? What do you do with the belief that you’re not good enough? You simply become willing to move beyond the fears. Often times the awareness of our fearful patterns is enough for them to be released.

    Sometimes I will even say to myself “I hear you fear, but I’m not going to let you determine my actions right now.” Instant personal power.

    This opens the way for you to step beyond the limiting beliefs you carry about yourself. The truth is, you’re good enough right now in this very moment. There is nothing to prove. Become curious about your beliefs and behaviors. Invite them in, question them, and watch as they melt away.

    3. Am I focusing on the content or the frame?

    Fear-based relationships often start with a strong attraction to a body. I don’t know about you, but I’ve definitely been sucked into relationships because the frame was lookin’ good. I paid no attention to the content, aka the mind.

    But at the end of the day, it’s important to remember that you’re always getting in a relationship with a mind. If the content is not engaging and exciting, circle back to the first question: What is this for?

    When we put all our focus on the content and not the frame, we simultaneously release our expectations and allow ourselves to experience peace and love in ways that we might not have thought possible. The frame will shift and change, but lasting fulfilling connection starts and ends with the content, not the labels and clothes we place around it.

    Ultimately, within others you can either lose yourself or remember yourself, because from a spiritual perspective, everyone is a reflection of you. And with that idea, relationships become a miraculous teaching device.

    You decide if you want fear or love based on the intention you set at the beginning. I’ve both lost myself and remembered myself in relationships, but I prefer the latter.

    The three questions above are how you open the doorway for a love-based relationship to enter your life.

    By setting the goal of peace, becoming willing to move past our beliefs of not being good enough, and focusing on the content, not the frame, we can experience a deep connection and trust, which is perhaps one of the most miraculous things you can share with another human being.

  • 5 Ways To Embrace Ending Friendships and Relationships

    5 Ways To Embrace Ending Friendships and Relationships

    “Celebrate endings, for they precede new beginnings.” ~Jonathan Lockwood Huie

    One day when I was a kid, my best friend and I decided that we were going to bury a time capsule in the backyard. We gathered an old shoebox, some glitter and paint, and then spent the whole afternoon decorating this box that was the symbol of our best friend status for life.

    We filled it with some of our favorite items and pictures and then wandered around the yard in order to scope out the perfect location to bury our sacred box. We dug what we thought was a deep hole, placed the box inside, and covered it up.

    We made a pact to dig the box up together in five years.

    Not even five days passed before we were sprinting toward our special spot to dig up our friendship, only to discover someone had beaten us to it. As it turns out, my brother and his friend were watching from behind a tree as we buried the box a few days prior. Curiosity got the best of them.

    Unpredictable circumstances altered the outcome of our time capsule, just like growing up and having different interests altered the outcome of our friendship.

    Where did my childhood friend and I go wrong? We were supposed to be best friends for life. Life I say!

    Or maybe we didn’t go wrong. Maybe friendships and intimate relationships come with an expiration date of sorts.

    I’ve had many friendships I thought would last my whole life, but life surprised me, as it often does. As I look back, each friend or relationship that I’ve had made perfect sense for me that time in my life.

    I believe people are brought together for each person’s maximum spiritual growth. When the growth is done, it’s time to move on.

    That spiritual growth could take two minutes, two weeks, two months, two years, or a lifetime. Either way, when the time comes, the most powerful thing we can do is allow ourselves to move on and trust that everything is happening exactly as it should.

    Sometimes outside circumstances seemingly force our relationships to shift and move apart; other times it’s a decision you consciously make to walk away. However it happens, below are some ways you can move through changing relationships in the most positive and powerful way possible:

    1. Don’t be afraid to move on.

    As you learn and grow, so do your friendships and relationships. I really noticed this when I started committing to a spiritual practice every day. My circle of friends completely shifted. This is nothing to fear.

    It’s not a “good” or “bad’ thing, but it’s important to understand that throughout our lives, people are going to fall away. And who knows, they might be back, but all you do know now is that you’ve learned all that you can from each other at this time.

    When relationships and/or friendships end or shift, there is nothing to fear. Whether or not you realize it, everything always works out the way it’s meant to.

    2. Take responsibility.

    If the breakup was messy, or the friendship ended in a not so positive way, take responsibility for it. When you get to the point where you no longer blame someone else for how you feel, miraculous shifts occur.

    I often turn to my inner guide, the voice for love within me, and ask, “What is the spiritual lesson here?” Your power is always hidden behind the people and circumstance that disturb you the most.

    As some of my recent friendships evolved and fell away, I’ve discovered areas within myself that needed to be healed. The purpose of the relationship or the friendship was to show me those areas. Relationships can be amazing tools that catapult us to another level of peace and love.

    3. Trust that you always have everyone you need.

    This tiny idea can bring massive amounts of peace to your day. What if you woke up every morning knowing that every person you needed that day would be brought to you?

    I try and start my day with this idea because I immediately stop trying to control my reality, and instead, trust in my inner guidance a whole lot more.

    There is no one missing from this moment whom you need right now. If you’re sitting in a chair with no other bodies around, that’s because in this moment, your soul does not need anyone else to learn from.

    4. Get ready for new friendships and relationships.

    When you create the space for friendships and relationships that are not working to fall away, get ready, because new people who are more in-line with what your soul most needs to learn are on their way! This only becomes a fearful process when you forget that you’re always guided and that everything happens for you, not to you.

    5. Release your guilt.

    As I got more and more committed to praying, connecting to my true self, and meditating, I felt deep in my heart it was time for me to make some shifts in my outer world. That decision involved moving across the entire country, far away from family and all my friends.

    At first, a few of my close friends couldn’t understand why I was leaving, and for a brief moment I felt guilty about it. But I had to follow my path and trust that new people and experiences were on their way.

    Other people may not understand why you’re making the decision to move on, but that doesn’t matter. You can’t control what other people think. Always trust your heart and never feel guilty for it.

    No matter what, remember that every encounter is holy. Every person is a reflection of you. As you change, move, and grow, the reflections around you also change. Embrace them!

    There is no need to fearfully cling to relationships and friendships that are not working anymore. Rather, get excited about the new ones that are surely on their way. All changes are helpful.

  • Are Your Expectations Setting You Up for Disappointment?

    Are Your Expectations Setting You Up for Disappointment?

    “Waking up to who you are requires letting go of who you imagine yourself to be.” ~Alan Watts

    For a long time, I felt like I was standing on a riverbank just watching the water of life go by, too scared to jump in and play. I was waiting for the perfect current to come along that I could ride all the way to the completion of my intensely detailed life goals.

    I didn’t want to move until I felt like success was guaranteed and I was certain it was the “right” thing. Life was flowing, and I wasn’t doing anything. You can never be certain about the future.

    Around this time, I graduated engineering school, and instead of feeling excited and free, I felt like a large weight was dropped on my shoulders. I had a lot of expectations to meet, all of which were self-imposed.

    After all, I had an engineering degree. By the world’s standards, I was bound to be successful, get a great job, and make money.

    The thing is, I couldn’t shake the feeling that the path of engineering in the traditional sense was not right for me. I also couldn’t seem to function with the weight of these expectations. I got depressed, frustrated, and disappointed with myself for not pursuing engineering right way.

    I expected myself to be successful, which eventually escalated into expectations of perfection in all the areas of my life.

    One day, I was on a walk with my dad and he said to me, “Amanda, you just have to jump in the river and swim! You might wash up on the shore of the riverbank a little ways down, but at least you’re moving. Plus, you never know who or what will be there on the shore waiting for you. Just jump in and stop trying to set expectations for the future. Jump in and ride whatever current looks good now.”

    That’s exactly what I did. Instead of focusing on what to do, where to go, and how I was going to accomplish everything I thought I wanted in life, I focused on releasing the expectations I had about it all.

    I focused on what I wanted to and could do now. I finally jumped in. 

    The following are some tips and lessons I learned while making the transition from expectation overload to the lightness of exploration.  (more…)