Dear Wesley:
I feel your pain in your writing. The people you are trying to help, showing them that you accept them with love no matter what wrong they have ever done… your motivation, turn it around to yourself, direct it to yourself. Let your motivation and hope be in helping yourself, showing yourself that you accept yourself with love, no matter how pale your skin is, no matter what you ever did. May you be the love of your life, not arrogantly, but lovingly, treating yourself with the empathy and compassion you have shown others.
When that girl called you ugly, how that hurt you. I know that kind of pain, it is devastating. You have to find a way, Wesley, to look at yourself in the mirror, literally and figuratively, and be okay with what you see. Find out your deepest feelings, motivations (to love and be loved) and see that you were always loving and lovable.
anita