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Dealing with toxic people

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  • November 16, 2015 at 5:01 am #87630
    Inky
    Participant

    Hi vidanova,

    I would give them 15 minutes of my time. Polite conversation. Don’t get into anything personal. Don’t let them know your plans/goals. And if you have achieved anything, and someone mentions it, downplay it. Don’t give them any ammunition. Then say you have an errand/homework/Netflix marathon to get back to. It’s an art, really. Sometimes if you ask for their advice or help, their tune will change for the better. They are needed and looked up to!

    To your own place and space someday!

    Inky

    November 18, 2015 at 7:54 am #87834
    Jodi
    Participant

    One tactic I learned when I worked in a pretty toxic environment was not to allow the negative talk to just continue when I had to be there. I did a lot of staying to myself and finding other things that needed to be done when toxic people were around. However at times I couldn’t just leave so I adapted by changing the conversation when I was with them. I changed the subject often and I would always play Pollyanna and point out the brightside of things. Eventually the toxic people don’t want to talk with you anymore because you won’t engage in the negativity.

    ~Jodi

    November 18, 2015 at 8:24 am #87836
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear vidanova:

    As at 54 I am still healing from the devastating effects of having a … toxic mother and after cutting all contact with her in spite of the great guilt I felt about doing so, I owe it to myself to live the rest of my life NOT in the company of other toxic people, disingenuous people who would hurt me repeatedly and unrepentant. Simply NOT be in the physical presence of any such person no matter what. Really, and this is the freedom of it: I don’t HAVE TO be around anyone I choose not to be.

    anita

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