Hi, I’m very new here.

I recently (three days ago) broke up from my 2.5yr relationship. We laughed and got on to a degree but it didn’t feel right to me and I couldn’t trust him after a previous incident that had happened so I held up the flag and said I couldn’t do it anymore. It wasn’t fair on him, checking his phone all the time in secret, being paranoid and over-reacting about anything is not who I am and he shouldn’t have to endure that.

I’m sitting here bawling my eyes out every day and being crazy. I like being alone. I’m 25 and prefer my own company.

He made a point of it as we were talking that I don’t show enough affection anyway. Which I don’t.

I asked my mother about it and she said straight away that much to people’s dismay even as a baby/child/teen I never craved affection and never dosed it out. She said she never questioned it but let me be which I respect immensely. I’ve never been drunk, never smoked and I don’t ‘go out’ because it isn’t who I am.

I find that ‘over’ affection seems dishonest, insecure and needy. That a constant need and giving of attention/affection doesn’t ring true. It makes me bristle. I prefer the solitary and only occasional comments when they truly mean something. I barely say I love you unless the moment feels perfect. But it seems in this day and age people are constantly needing affection and I worry I might demolish every relationship I am in and never have a healthy relationship because of it.

I’m asking if anyone else is in a healthy long term relationship where the affection and attention isn’t what keeps them together? If anyone else feels similar at such a young age? Or has done and found a solution?

Scared I will ruin further relationships and or even friendships. I have one friend who is similar but it is because she is shy whereas I am not. I’m worrying myself silly and thinking stupid thoughts about getting back with the ex because why would anyone want a 25 yr old girlfriend who isn’t affectionate and admittedly fiercely independant?