Hi Jasmine,

She probably still views you as a kid sister. Literally. By getting married, getting a divorce, and having a baby all so young, you have essentially become her peer. She took your (ex)husband in because she doesn’t take you seriously, takes him seriously, and can maintain her current role.

The way to get out of this situation is to Get Out. Nothing creates distance like distance. Once you get your own place (forget a house, get a small apartment for now) stay away from her. And your Mom, the family lynch-pin. Visit them at holidays and see how that goes. Don’t offer sister ammunition. Be polite and quiet. See what the vibes are. Let her wear herself out, talking. The kids, by virtue of their existence, unfortunately, might contribute to the competition.

One year, or one decade, your sister may see you as a peer.

Sorry you’re going through this,

Inky