Struggling with life

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This topic has 6 replies, 6 voices, and was last updated 9 years, 11 months ago by Alissa.

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December 22, 2014 at 11:29 pm #69697
Alissa
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Hello, I don’t usually do these kinds of things, but I wasn’t too sure who to talk to. I don’t know if anybody has been through something similar, first off I’m 19 years old and I was raised in a very dysfunctional family. I live with a mother who struggles with anxiety and depression and she usually depends on me, so I’m having a hard time trying to get my own life together, because I’m usually focusing on her and we fight on a daily basis, I just want the best for the both of us. I used to be a victim of bullying and I also have anxiety and post traumatic stress disorder from a past incident. I don’t really have much family to talk to, because they are always fighting. I’m feeling very stuck in life at the moment. I’ve been feeling very lonely and unmotivated to do much of anything.. such as doing my hair or even the simplest of tasks. Sometime I get scared I will stay like this for a long time. I’m not really sure what I’m looking for.. I guess I just needed vent, I’m feeling very miserable right now and just needing some advice on how to deal with some of these things. I’m not sure if I’ll get any replies.. but if you did read, some answers would be appreciated.. thank you for taking the time!
- This topic was modified 9 years, 11 months ago by Alissa.
December 23, 2014 at 5:29 am #69704

Annette
Participant

Dear Alisaur19,

First I want you to know that I care about you. I am sorry you are having such bad feelings for such a young person. You are not stuck in life. You have the power to change your life and only you have that power. Change the things you can, like fighting with your mother, just walk away if an argument starts, and let go of the things you cannot change, like other family members fighting.

I don’t know if you are still in school, but seek out a counselor. You have had a lot of trauma in your life and you need to talk those things out with someone preferable a professional. I’m not a counselor, just someone that wanted you to know that I hear you. I think you are great, wonderful, and brave for reaching out for help. Keep reaching! You are on the right path!

December 23, 2014 at 8:49 pm #69743

Adam
Participant

Hello,
I’m sorry that you’ve suffered to this extent but I am very glad that you have reached out for help. Only when we’re willing to admit that we need help can we begin to change. I want you to know that the less you care for yourself, the less you can help others. Including your family. You, above all others, need your own love and acceptance. When you truly accept and love yourself, you will be able to give so much more to the ones around you. Your feelings of being stuck in this is just life giving you an opportunity to grow into the person you want to be. But first, you need to start taking care of yourself. Eat right, exercise, educate yourself, and learn to start bettering the person you are. It’s essential to know what you want, who you want to be, and to know where you’re heading if you keep this up.

Secondly, fighting will never resolve issues or make you feel better. It’s a bottomless pit of anger and pain. So, don’t contribute to those arguments anymore. Speak calmly and respectfully and ask they do the same if speaking to you. The moment you lose your temper, you give up any chance of a peaceful outcome. Speak your feelings peacefully and compassionately. This will serve as a lesson that will strengthen you if you succeed.

And lastly, step back and just relax. I know this is stressful but stress is only making it harder for you to do what is right. Breathe and relax and take immediate steps to make life simpler. Start small but know where you want to be. I don’t want to overwhelm you with words that only grow more repetitive. It’s time to start doing and time to start taking responsibility for yourself.

thepathofaronin.blogspot.com is my personal blog. Look at it and reach out if you need help. Don’t hold it in.

I hope this helps in any way.
Be strong and know you’re not alone.

December 24, 2014 at 5:16 am #69762

Inky
Participant

Hi alisaur19,

I don’t know the details of your situation, but the first thought that came to mind is you need to get out of the house, whether it’s to live, work, school, or even someplace your anxiety will allow.

You and your mom both need to see a family therapist. You cling too much to each other. In the old days sticking together in this way was great because there was a vaster family/social/household network to dilute any dysfunction. But now families are smaller, and, counter intuitively, you need to have independence to survive, even to help others.

Maybe make one big change this year: Councilor, new meds, school, work, or moving.

Blessings,

Inky

December 24, 2014 at 11:42 am #69769

Mark
Participant

Dear alisaur19,

I agree with Inky. This is you’re inner you calling for help and space. It really is time for yourself now. You need to make room for you to be able to take responsibility for your own life. From my own experience i know that some people can let this go on for years.

I wish you the best. Keep asking for help if you ever need it.

Mark

December 25, 2014 at 8:11 pm #69816

BenzRabbit
Participant

Hi Alisaur19,

We are here for you !

Please read these 2 articles – one of them is from this site:

1) http://www.wikihow.com/Cope-With-Emotional-Pain

2) http://dev.tinybuddha.com/blog/10-happiness-tips-for-people-who-have-been-hurt/

Also, your lack of motivation is probably due to depression – please read this:

Dealing with Teen Depression

Everything WILL work out – just take it one day at a time and trust the Universe !

I pray your angels guide you forward.

GOD bless !!

December 27, 2014 at 12:06 am #69864
Alissa
Participant
Thank you everybody for all the replies, I wasn’t sure I’d get any honestly.. you guys all had great advice and it is really appreciated! You are right Inky, I do have a very small family so my mother and I do depend on each other way too much. I do go to work, but I even notice there sometimes I get anxiety, I’ve tried taking baths and also listening to music, anything to calm my nerves, but I noticed it hasn’t helped too much. I have brought up counseling to my mom and she’s open to the idea, but nothing has happened yet, so I’m taking the step for myself to get into counseling. I believe it will do good, I will definitely keep posted, thanks for the advice and your time!
- This reply was modified 9 years, 11 months ago by Alissa.
- This reply was modified 9 years, 11 months ago by Alissa.
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