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Trying to Accept Not Moving Out

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  • #66333
    Trevor
    Participant

    Ever since I was a child, I was raised to believe in the American Dream. I loved every bit of it – having my own place, freedom, a job, a wife, a stable day job, respect as a hardworking honest man, and maybe kids down the line.

    I try not to think about this anymore, because I feel disappointed. I feel stuck in an endless college experience, and things just keep getting harder. I make $10/hr, and try to get hired to make more money, but it feels almost impossible to move out and not live in a ghetto or move really far from my support system, even then, I would have to work for several years just to afford a down payment. I don’t really have any energy to invest in dating, and if I was to date, I would want it to be an experience that I am passionate or at least feel something for. I could come up with more of a sob story, but I think you get the picture.

    I have a lot of anger and resentment stored up, and I am wondering if anybody knows of any techniques or strategies for releasing it. Perhaps part of my problem is my disappointment and lack of self-esteem. I feel powerless to this. I really want to embrace this, but a part of me sinks when I feel like I have to live like this and that I am not really respected as a full adult in my twenties because I am so reliant. I feel demasculated, and don’t even have a libido anymore. I almost wish that I could become Amish (though I would have to leave my support system and start over and leave my family).

    Any thoughts or suggestions?

    #66335
    Inky
    Participant

    There’s a time honored tradition of getting several roommates and living in an apartment together. Also, can you run your own side business? Like landscaping (as just one of many examples), and see how that goes?

    The world has changed in the past few decades. The good news is you’re a guy and don’t have this biological time pressure that girls have to start a family. Also, houses are overrated.

    And I notice that you won’t really be fully respected as an adult until you hit 40. LOL. Before then you will be a “kid”.

    Study and practice meditation to let your anger go. Or, fully embrace it and have a private tantrum where you yell, scream, hit things.

    #66336
    turquoise115
    Participant

    Change means taking risks. You are trapped because you fear what might happen if you change what is actually comfortable. You are angry because you know you are better. Accept the hard path and make it happen, that’s what men do.

    #66348
    Trevor
    Participant

    I tried moving out living on campus at a college with 2 roommates and I have severe anxiety when I do not have some personal space… I thought that I would get over it but the two years I was there I didn’t seem to feel any more comfortable. My work and quality of life suffered dramatically.

    I don’t think it’s as much “moving out,” but having personal space, independence, freedom, and respect as a hard working valued individual. That is self-actualization, no?

    • This reply was modified 10 years ago by Trevor.
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