I would take this day by day and see what happens. My feeling is that it is ultimately about acceptance. In the end I can accept anything and something like this can actually turn out to be very small if for example he is an Atheist that is more moral than a church-goer.

Thanks everyone.

@Blissful22

What a blissful dilemma you face. Ha Ha. Your post put a huge smile on my face 🙂 Thanks for doing that.

Religion, spirituality, atheism etc – their underlying basis is love for self and others. An atheist may not believe in God or Supernatural power but they do believe in something. Often it is self. How cool is that ? Someone who believes in self in already on the spiritual path, which may or may not lead through a specific religion. Spirituality is all about study of self if you do some home work. So if you call yourself spiritual and he is an atheist – what a great combination as you both believe in self.

If an atheist doesn’t even believe in self or God, they often have an underlying fear of something. Then they need a lot of love, which you can give 🙂

Either way, this doesn’t appear to be a deal breaker. Open your heart wide out and raise your consciousness. We are all one and beautiful and love / respect can ride any wave of dilemma or confusion.

Best wishes,

Jasmine

The intelligence I am using doesn’t belong to anyone. It is not mine, and it is certainly not ‘me’. It is a whole bunch of mental processes that take place within the body from which I experience the world, but these processes, this body, and this experience are not mine, are not ‘me’.

Not-self is a tricky idea to wrap your head around, and interpretations of what the Buddha meant exactly vary, but to me it is mostly about not taking myself too seriously and being aware that I have a bias towards myself (seeing things from my perspective, assuming things are about me etc). I consider the natural idea/assumption that there is an unchanging, individual ‘me’ running my life and deciding what to do, think and say is incorrect. Intuitive, but incorrect.

I know that’s not what you were talking about, so I was playing with words a little. 😀 Hearing more about how you see the hypothetical atheist who doesn’t believe in God or themselves is helpful though. I agree that self-doubt is a fear-related emotion. But I think there is a way to not believe in the self that has nothing to do with self-doubt, as I tried to describe above.

My non-belief in myself and my non-belief in God are of the same nature. I don’t doubt God because I think he or she might not have the power to help me or the inclination to come through for me or I feel abandoned by God or anything like that. I just don’t think he or she exists. When it comes to the self, same thing.

Sorry for the thread-hijack. I think your approach is sensible, Blissful, and I hope you guys work wonderfully together. <3

Hi Blissful22,

This is a long post! Eek. But I identify with you so much and want to share with you my story, in case it may help you.

I am a Christian, and I recently ended a relationship that was “unequally yoked”. I started dating someone who I met through my church community, and I made the incorrect assumption that he was also actively seeking God. As we dated, he cleared up that he isn’t “religious” or “spiritual,” (he was part of the church community for non-religious reasons). While I had my reservations, I convinced myself that we could get to know each other and respect each another’s faith journeys. I thought, “We connect so well, why not take the dive? Why is sharing our faith so important to a successful relationship, anyway?”. We fell in love, and I thought everything was fantastic.

Eventually, it became very clear how I was pulling away from God to be with my boyfriend. I felt like I couldn’t share my prayer life with him. I felt like he didn’t “get it” or was rolling his eyes at Christian spirituality. I was living “in sin” with my boyfriend, and the conviction God placed on my heart grew stronger.. Even so, I wanted our relationship to work so badly.. I fell deeper and deeper in love with him, and I quietly shelved my worries about my spiritual growth.

It wasn’t until we had a serious talk about raising a family that I started seeing how this was the wrong man for me. I told him that it was important for me to raise children knowing God and to have God as the center of my family’s life. If we’re to have children, it’s our responsibility as parents to be spiritual leaders and examples in their lives. Unfortunately, my boyfriend didn’t see eye-to-eye with me on that. That was the dealbreaker for me. It’s been so difficult letting the love of my life go, but the cost of my relationship with my boyfriend was my relationship with God. It was the most heart-breaking experience, but it came down to choosing God over the man I love. This was a big lesson to me about diving headfirst without careful consideration about what God wants versus what I want as immediate gratification.

I desire to know God fully. If I am to be in a gospel relationship that honors God first instead of myself, my romantic partner and I should both be seeking God. Matching yourself with an atheist is a recipe for heartbreak. It breaks God’s heart not to be obedient to Him, and we must seek His will in dating and marriage. To do this, we must look at the Bible in context. When Christianity was in its infancy, people who were already married became Christians. These converts were troubled about their current marriage with non-Christians. Paul wrote about the salvation of a non-believer spouse through the believing spouse in order to deter recent converts from divorcing their non-believer spouse (1 Corinthians 7:14). He is very clear about not knowingly entering marriage with a non-believer (2 Corinthians 6:14), for their doubts may ultimately influence you and your children to turn away from God.

Bottom line: It is not wrong to love others, regardless of belief systems. However, it is not a God-centered relationship if both parties aren’t seeking God. Also, it will be very difficult to rear children in the way that God intends us to (the husband = spiritual leader of the family). For Christians, the ultimate goal of dating is to get to know the other person as a potential marriage partner, and marriage is an act that should honor God above ourselves.

Hi Blissful22,

I will keep you in my prayers! I wanted to leave you with this article. I believe it has some great points of consideration for women like us who experienced/are dating a non-Christian: http://goodwomenproject.com/dating/he-didnt-love-jesus

Take care, and feel free to message me if I can be of further help, even just to lift up prayers or to listen.