Hello Annie!

Well, this, in my opinion, is a very delicate situation where you have to look the deepest inside you and be true to yourself (this is key to being able to sort this out).
I think that this person in your life maybe is having trust issues regarding his past relationships (not meaning that he hasn’t moved on, in my opinion they are two different things) and therefore, causing this strange attitudes toward you. In example, the night before you went away, when he didn’t want to see you, maybe he was afraid of falling for you and then losing someone he loves again and getting hurt. This doesn’t precisely means that he doesn’t care for you, maybe he’s thinking better things about this new relationship. I would suggest trying to empathise with him and understanding where he’s coming from. Try talking this issue directly and clarifying things in a way full of love and understanding. If you’re thinking of having a serious relationship with him, better establish solid foundations based on communication rather than guessing his feelings and his vision of the relationship.

Be very careful with those “I fell for him” feelings. Sometimes we mask our need to be with someone just so we can fill our needs with sensations of false love, especially if you already had sex, because this creates a physical need, also masking the true love. This is where i would suggest that you be true to yourself in the sense of really being sure you want him because you truly love every aspect of him and want to share your life and not trying to satisfy one of your needs.

I hope this helps, really, I know how effd up this things get and I comprehend how you may be feeling. I’m sending you the biggest hug of all times and all of my strength!

I would send out one communication to him when in London. You kind of painted yourself in a corner with saying you don’t want to keep in touch. Then, see where it goes.

On an aside, we women have to be careful when having sex because our bodies release pesky hormones that make us want to attach even more to that person. And not only that, we tend to have to already be attached before we get in the bedroom, anyway!

I would say, “I don’t want to be together until we’re *together*, you know what I’m saying? I like you too much to have just a physical thing with you.” This way it lets everyone off the hook: It’s a confession and a gentle let down at the same time. An all or nothing, yet putting you a bit in control of the situation.

Good Luck!