Hi Caring Guy,

This will be unpopular advice, but it is sound.

Your prime purpose right now is for the kids.

If your relationship with the GF isn’t working swimmingly on its own, cast her loose. Don’t work on that relationship at all. Focus solely on the kids. When we have one focus, one thing, and are solely devoted to it and not divided, Life works itself out. Miraculously. All else is a mere distraction.

Later, when the kids are adults, you will have your pick of awesome relationships to work with and choose from. Do you know why? Because you will now be the Master of Relationships. But it starts with your Family.

Just my Opine!

What. No. Move 800 miles and be next to your fam. Reconnect with your kids. That is how you work on yourself, actually.

Wow it sounds like you’re in a rut. Maybe you could reconnect with your family? I don’t know. Say that you need help taking care of your children in order to help yourself.

Thanks everyone. Hey INKYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY @inky, any new poems ?

Hi Caring Guy

When your loved ones wish to take a break from you as they want you to work on yourself, there is an innate problem. Family and partners are meant to be there with us to support us during the INWARD journey and not forsake us. Something is not adding up here.

Hey, are you keen to listen to some you tube videos, which can help with your queries ? They are in English and delivered by an Indian spiritual teacher who is also a professional in her real life. Let me know if you are keen. I will post a link.

Best wishes

Jasmine

Hey @Jasmine-3 !

A poem is in me, I’m going to let it percolate today and see how the brew is tomorrow! Any special requests??

Hey, OP, that’s an idea ~ write a kick-azz poem. It sounds like you have turned your anger inward and are now a sad panda. Write a poem that tells everyone like it is! Then in RL go back to your fam. and say, “Listen to me, girls (even if they’re boys) I’m your Father! That’s Father with a Capital F! And unlike other sorry losers, I’m not going anywhere! So don’t act ungrateful, in a way that makes me possibly much more than you deserve!”

Then camp out in your car in their driveway eating nothing but rice if you have to. You ~ and they ~ are family. You are the father? Act it! Tell them what to do! A son? Act it! Do favors for the rents, ask for their advice. A cousin? Act it! Say, “Hey cuz, how’s it goin’?” etc.

Caring guy,

Less words, more action. Less wallowing in confusion, more exploring. Less whining, more accepting. You sound saturated brother, swamped. Head out somewhere, naturey, beautiful, and set aside all the seeking. Try just being there for awhile. Finding ourselves is less “staring at it”, more “letting the unimportant fall aside, so we can be present.”

Go play, seriously! Well, not “seriously” play, play playfully. But, seriously, go play! Wake up the kid, he’s bored!

With warmth,
Matt

I don’t really know what your current situation with your girlfriend is but it sounds that your kids are your strength and you want to do anything to get yourself feeling better again.

I can tell you i can relate even though i don’t have children my only strength to keep going was my parents when i “felt lost” and did soul searching, tried yoga, meditating but felt like nothing “worked”, or so i thought but i think it had to do with myself.

I wanted to skip all the steps of losing someone (break up) and wanted to go straight to feeling better but no matter how much i tried i think i had to experience the grieving process (denial and isolation, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance).

Finally when i accepted what had happened i was able to really comprehend how yoga and meditating helps, i wish i knew i could implement both at the same time but i guess we all have to go through it differently and learn from all of our experiences.

Give yourself the chance to grieve and accept it, whatever your situation may be, if you don’t accept it how can you begin to change it? i know you don’t feel it now but the only way to find yourself is to lose yourself. it helps to write things down and focus on one thing at a time because you are going through many things at once and it doesn’t help to feel overwhelmed (easier said than done i know) but when you feel overwhelmed you feel like hiding and hoping things will get better on their own but they won’t, so focus on one thing at a time because i am sure things didn’t go from good to bad in one day so the same is when you are trying to “fix” things you can only do one at a time just like the domino effect. Small steps lead to bigger goals and remember you can’t “fix” anyone you can only “fix” yourself.

Hope it helps.