“All great achievements require time.” ~Maya Angelou
We all have a picture of what we want in our heads.
We get attached to a timeline for achieving it. We fantasize about the results and how it will bring us happiness.
We begin to work hard to attain it.
But when we don’t get it right away, we get frustrated. We want things to move as quickly as possible.
If we want a relationship, we want to find our perfect partner as soon as we can. If we’re building a career or a business, we want success in months. If we want to master a skill, we expect to get good after several weeks.
Right now, I’m in this in-between stage.
I’m in between getting my dream off the ground and where I want it to be. Because my dream hasn’t materialized yet, there are days where I lose motivation, because deep down I feel that if it’s not happening yet then maybe it isn’t for me.
I hate waiting; I hate this grey area zone that I’m in.
I want the results now. I want the validation. I want to make sure that I’m not wasting time and that what I’m doing means something.
But I’m learning that it doesn’t work like that.
When we resist this period of time, it creates a lot of anxiety, but if we look closer we may find that the delay actually contains great lessons for us.
I’ve been trying to live a more intentional life of happiness and meaning. But the anxiety I’m feeling doesn’t align with what I say I want—and it’s not even getting me closer to it. In fact, I’m creating more delay. I procrastinate, I resist, and I sulk.
So I’ve made a conscious decision to understand the lessons.
It was difficult at first, especially since I felt that “must have it now” feeling. The last thing I wanted to hear was that I needed to wait some more. I resisted this because I deluded myself into thinking that if I ignored it, perhaps things would move along at a faster speed.
But over time, as the lessons got clearer, I got more inner peace and reassurance that things are moving at the right time.
What can we learn from delays?
1. A delay is an opportunity to let go of attachment to outcomes.
When we let go of our attachment to specific outcomes, we’re better able to concentrate on our craft.
This is something to appreciate, because what happens if the result isn’t what you imagined it to be? Will you stop creating? Will you stop working on your passion?
2. A delay can help us realize how badly we want it.
Do you want it badly enough to keep working at it despite not getting the immediate result you want?
3. A delay can help us build a stronger foundation.
It prepares us and helps us develop our muscles.
Get better at your craft. Figure out ways you can better use it to serve others.
We practice and learn during this waiting period so that when the time comes, we are equipped to handle it better.
4. A delay can teach us to think outside the box.
When our way is not working and we’re cornered, it can force us to come up with new ideas and new ways of doing things.
5. A delay can teach us to accept that anything worthwhile takes time.
It takes time for things to grow. It takes time to build trust. It takes time to build anything.
The sooner we get this, the sooner we’ll free ourselves from anxiety, and the faster we’ll focus on doing what we need to do.
6. A delay can teach us to be productive while waiting.
When we’re able to accept that some things are out of our control and that things don’t always happen as fast as we’d like them to, we’re better able to be productive, since we’re not overwhelmed and distracted by fear and anxiety.
7. A delay can teach us to acknowledge and appreciate progress.
With conscious effort, I am able to see my accomplishments and all the progress I have made so far instead of discounting it just because I’m not yet where I want to be.
This is important because it’s removed the resistance that kept me from doing the work I needed to do; plus, I feel more fulfilled.
8. A delay can teach us to be grateful for what we will receive.
Because I have put in my sweat and tears in starting my dream from the ground up, I will make sure I will do whatever it takes to nurture it and not take it for granted.
—
A delay it not a denial. Just because something isn’t happening now, that doesn’t mean it’s not for us.
I still get impatient but it’s getting easier, because I know that a delay can serve a greater purpose, and our greatest good.
So, if you’re going through a tough time right now and something isn’t quite materializing yet, hang in there. Find reassurance in knowing that a delay can actually benefit you.
You may not see it now, but hold on to this faith. This will help you find inner peace and enable you to keep taking action so you can get closer to what it is you want.
Photo by Luz Adriana Villa
About Janice L. Pascual
Striving to live a meaningful life. Combining two loves: cartoons and spirituality to create Mind Snapshots. Web Comics for the soul.
Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 
All my life i have complained about things not getting done on the right but today i finally understood what god is doing is something he has already planned.Thank you so much for sharing this, not only it helped me in knowing myself but also helped me knowing what i can really do in my future as well.
Not quite the same thing, but yesterday all my trains were delayed. Some people around me were cursing and complaining. I just sat and saw it as time to practise mindfulness, feeling my body, looking around, hearing sounds etc. Now granted my schedule wasn’t hugely time dependent and maybe theirs was, but even so, were they serving themselves by getting worked up, or was it just going to get them flustered and angry before (eventually) reaching their destination?
Going through this right now. As I look back on the past year or so, I’ve realized that I wasted so much time worrying and complaining about the lack of external validation. I let the stagnation affect every other aspect of my life. I neglected my health and my personal life because I was so focused on getting my career and goals sorted out. I’m done waiting. I can’t force a breakthrough, so I’ll just do what I can in the meantime and pursue other goals.
Really opened up my eyes. I think just now I’ve reconciled with time. It has always been my enemy, I want things to happen according to a certain timeframe or reach places in set milestones, but I’m learning now to be more gentle with time, and to trust it. When i’m afraid of it or challenging it I end up filled with anxiety and fears of failure. But when I see it as a friend in motion I can rise up to my best abilities.
You’re reading my mind, Janice! Gracias por su carta/articulo. Lo me encanta mucho! Necesito leer sus palabras hoy, en este momento. Ayer y hoy siento mal porque no puedo encontrar un trabajo porque yo no tengo la experiencia o requisitos necesarios aunque yo complete grad-school. Es deprimente, however your words are encouraging!!! #spanglish practicing my spanish…
Just what I needed to hear. I’ve always been one who loves instant gratification in life, but this post really hit home and it makes me realise that patience and persistence is all I really need. Bookmarked! 🙂
Hi Neha!
Thanks for sharing 🙂 Yes, I completely agree. I believe God is always working things out for us. Right now, I see delays as preparation. Preparing us so when the right time comes, we’re more equipped to handle it. Trust His plan.
I’m so happy it helped you!
Haha we’re the same, always wanting it NOW!
Yes, patience and persistence are crucial. And trust that what’s meant for you is for you. We just need to build our foundation first.
Thank you for sharing 🙂
Umm translate please? 🙂
Hi Farah!
Yes you got it! Yey!
I think it’s really important to remove the anxiety and fears that block us from doing what we need to do. So you’re absolutely right, when you don’t resist it, you rise up to your best abilities.
Thank you for sharing 🙂
Oh hey. Don’t give up on your goals just yet! Try to get the lessons first. Based on what you said, maybe the lesson is for you to learn balance? So as early as now, life wants you to see its importance. So when the time comes, you can enjoy all aspect of your life, not just your career. When you learn that, I have a strong feeling that things will start to move forward.
Please update us with how it goes?
Hi LL!
I see your point, good comparison!
Very smart of you! 🙂
You’re totally right, we need to go through the process before we get to our destination. Being anxious or frustrated doesn’t serve us, in fact it will prevent us from taking action and from moving forward. So might as well enjoy the process, learn as much as we can while waiting!
Thanks for sharing!
Thank you so much for being authentic & sharing your struggles… I been going through some similar struggles as well, esp witb my studies. Thank u, really need this…:)
Hey Neha, if u get a chance.. read the book, THE ALCHEMIST By Paulo Cohelo!
This is a great article, thanks Janice! I have struggled with this for years (and still do) and still struggle with shifting my focus from the delay to something different. If it’s a train delay, no problem, but if it’s something I really want or something that will have a big impact my mind works in overdrive and I struggle to shut it off. I am going to try and use some of these techniques next time I’m struggling with delays. Thanks again.
Hi Jeevan,
You’re very welcome. Hope this helps you keep going in your studies 🙂
Thanks for reading and commenting!
I know exactly what you mean! The more important the goal is to us, the louder our monkey mind gets!
I hope the ‘techniques’ help 🙂
Oh and a couple more things that have helped me during times of struggle are remembering why I started in the first place and to acknowledge how far we’ve come and not just how far we need to go. I hope they help you too 🙂
Thank you so much for sharing!
I never knew how impatient I was until an ex pointed it out to me about 4 years ago. I always rush my relationships, wanting immediate intimacy and history with someone I just met. I told a friend today how hard it is to live in the moment and let love build organically when I just want to get to the part where I’m not anxious anymore. This is a huge challenge for me, more so in romance than school.
Hi Miranda!
Thank you for sharing your story.
Think of that time as you really getting to know the other person. You get to really see for yourself if he’s really what you want and if he’s the right fit. You’re also forming a bond and building trust with him which is important if you want the relationship to last.
Don’t rush it instead be excited about this getting-to-know-each-other phase! It’s an exciting stage so enjoy it 😉
Earlier this evening I wrote a diary entry about the frustration i get when practising guitar. When I practise I am constantly battling with feelings of hopelessness and frustration. Like your article says, “I have an image” of how Id like to play and I think it’s this ‘wanting’ and over expectation that keeps from enjoying the process. Sometimes I get so frustrated when I’m practising that I quickly put the guitar down but this is when the REAL frustration happens and I start to feel great hopelessness and self pity, wondering if I’ll ever achieve the things I want. IT NEVER STOPS! I’m not happy when I’m doing it and I’m not happy when I’m NOT doing it, it feels physicotic!
hi
too long delays can kill the purpose of doing..if u were supposed to do a task but was delayed then later on u either cant do it or it makes no sense to do it… if u don’t get things on time in life and get when its of no use then whats the point getting it.. one should get right things at the right time,,but many don’t..so what should be done