“Your dream doesn’t have an expiration date. Take a deep breath and try again.” ~KT Witten
As I said goodbye on my last day of work, I couldn’t help feeling smug. When my colleagues turned up for work on Monday morning, I’d be at home, free to do whatever I wanted with my day.
I’d resigned to explore the possibilities of a career in writing. With no clear idea of what the immediate future held, I was both nervous and excited.
I imagined myself in a few years’ time, happily making a fortune from all my creative endeavors, living a life of adventure, appearing in magazines and on TV, chatting with Oprah about my latest project and my fabulous life.
I was so cool.
About eight months later I was back. My “bestseller” was still waiting to be published; I’d abandoned the blog that was going to take the world by storm; I’d dropped several other ideas that had barely even started; and my bank balance was looking very sorry for itself.
Not so cool.
Thankfully, I successfully managed to ignore my inner critic, who was doing her best to tell me how stupid I’d been. Nevertheless, I felt confused about what had happened.
Over the past couple of years I’d been hearing how we should all have the courage to go for our dreams—that we should trust our instincts, follow our hearts, embrace uncertainty, and dare to believe in ourselves.
And that’s what I’d done. I’d followed my heart, which had told me to resign from my job and pursue writing. Then I followed it back again to the same job I’d spent a year telling myself I had to leave.
If I was supposed to follow my heart, why was I back to square one? On reflection, I realized the answer was simple; I wasn’t back to square one at all. In fact, I wasn’t even back to square two.
When we try something new, when we dare to take a risk, it rarely, if ever, works out as we imagine.
When unexpected challenges arise, when things go “wrong,” it’s tempting to tell ourselves that we’ve failed; that we should stick to what we know. That we should just play it safe and leave dream-following to those who have what it takes.
Don’t do it; don’t let the negative thoughts and self-doubt bring you down. Instead, consider the following questions to keep you focused on your goal and going in the right direction.
What have you learned from the experience?
I knew becoming self-employed would be hard work, but I wasn’t prepared for the psychological shift it would take.
I’d always worked for other people, and I’d always pretty much done what I was told in every other area of my life, too. It takes a huge change on the inside to be able to go from one extreme to the other.
But if I hadn’t left my job, I wouldn’t have known that. I’d still be at work, resenting every moment, wanting to jump but not daring to do it and always wondering, “what if…?”
I’ve learned that I don’t have to sacrifice everything to go for what I want. I don’t have to eat baked beans and live in a squat until I’m discovered.
Going back to work has meant that I can afford to invest in myself, both in terms of my physical well-being and getting my ideas off the ground.
Prioritizing your dreams doesn’t mean you mustn’t ever work a day job again. It means making time for the things that are truly important to you.
I’ve also learned that taking a big risk isn’t always that risky after all. Before I left work, I procrastinated for months, alternating between excitement at the thought of going for my dream and fear over what would happen if I ran out of money.
And what happened in the end? I ran out of money and went back to work. No biggie.
Very rarely do the calamities we imagine happening come true.
What have you achieved?
It can be all too tempting to focus on the things you haven’t done, but try instead to focus on what you did manage to do.
I finished the project I was working on before leaving my job and researched the world of publishing, which I didn’t have time for when I was working. I started a blog, and while it didn’t work out as I’d hoped, the experience gave me some more ideas to work on. It also led me to discovering that people liked my writing, which gave me the confidence to believe that I had something to offer.
Even your “failures” can be achievements, as when you know what doesn’t work for you, you’re one step closer to finding out what does.
How have you changed?
Going back to work has shown me just how much my mindset has changed. For so many years, work was something I had to do to survive, and everything else had to come second.
Now I understand that life isn’t supposed to be about cursing the alarm clock on Monday morning and living for the weekend. I can see the pointlessness of arguing over who gets the best parking space (especially since I don’t even drive) or complaining about things we’re not even going to try to change.
Use the negative as a positive. Sometimes, a healthy dose of what you don’t want can help remind you of what you do want and where you want to go.
Once you’ve taken the first step toward your dream, there really is only one direction to go in. Keep your eye on the goal and use any step you take backward as a tool for moving forward.
Photo by Simon
Editor’s Note: Louise has generously offered to give away two free copies of her book, Stop Making Your Life a Misery. Leave a comment on the post for a chance to win! You can enter until midnight PST on Friday, July 25th.
UPDATE: The winners for this giveaway are Amy and MAustin.
About Louise Watson
Louise Watson is a writer and meditation teacher living in Hampshire, UK.
Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 
I love the idea of allowing ourselves to take a step back, assess the situation, see what we have learned, how far we’ve come, how our mindset has changed and keeping our eyes on the goal. Thank you for a beautiful reminder.
Ps. I’d love a chance to win your book 🙂
Love your article ^^
Thank you!
You’re welcome, Lavinia, and thanks for commenting!
Nice well written Article. I like the fact that one can go behind makin the dreams come true, even if it meant to take 1step backward and reassess and self affirm with a greater sense of confidence and take the plunge again.. It also on the other hand says the routine mundane things in professional life will have a new, fresh perspective the moment am back and now can handle both with its due priority at will…. 🙂 Thanks for sharing this Louise!
Right time to read this article… My last working day is next week n i took the risk of quitting without many plans.. Just to explore.. Am sure there are many opportunities waiting for me! Thank you!!!
Loved the article as do nearly all on here, I lost my toes and feet as baby through a horrific accident, I went through countless operations and thanks to the doctors and my own inner strength I managed to come through still being able to walk and play normal games and have a normal enough childhood, when I was 15 I was hit by a car which could and should have finished my legs off but thankfully did not, two years ago I had prosthetic feet made, I was told that these would change my life for the better, instead they ended up doing more bad to my fragile feet than good, then last week I was told that I am going to need my legs amputated, the night before the dr told me this I was sitting here at home in severe pain trying to meditate, when the thought search limb transplant popped in to my head, I proceeded to search it and on the first time of asking I found a hospital in America that does these such operations and it turns out that the main transplant specialist is looking for people like me, I contacted them last Tuesday night to just find out a bit more about it anyways the called me back I signed up with them as I type this I am awaiting a call from the specialist who is going to go through the full procedure with me. I have been like this my whole life even though I was born fine and healthy, I had to adapt to walking with toes and my feet and legs have carried me on some wonderful journeys and for that reason now that the time has come to hang them up I can do so now knowing they brought me as far as they could and longer than anyone ever gave them. The future is uncertain and whatever the outcome with the transplant specialist I am fully braced for the long road ahead and everything I have learned through dealing with this disability is to never give up never back down, life is not a race take it one step at time don’t fear failure learn from it and use it to push you on to the path that is for you, remember to enjoy your body and let us not take this wonderful crazy dream we call life for granted.
I am undergoing a similar experience. I left my job in March to explore a dream. I’ve found that I needed to leave my job to get a different perspective on both my approach to achieving my dream and surprisingly my life as it is in the present. I’m still working on my dream but like you, I realized it’s not an all or nothing approach. I’m looking to go back to work soon and at first I felt like I was going backwards but now I know that I’m still moving forward. Thanks for the piece!
I liked how you said to take risks and if it doesn’t work out then you should keep trying because you’re only one step closer to accomplishing that goal. I like also how you said to take a step back, figure out why it didn’t work and keep pushing ahead.
This was EXACTLY what I needed today. Thank you for your inspired words!
Great article. Printed it for future reading. Thank you! These articles on Tiny Buddha have kept me going in the right direction.
That was a great, eye-opening article, as I, too have left the work force to follow my dream as a writer and a blogger, only to have “life” happen and am now in a bad place. Your article has given me hope. 🙂 I would love a copy of your book!
Interesting… I needed to read this today- Thank You! 🙂
A great reminder. Thank you for sharing your story.
I like your spirit Peter!!!! in particular when you say “I am fully braced for the long road ahead and everything I have learned through dealing with this disability is to never give up never back down, life is not a race take it one step at time don’t fear failure learn from it and use it to push you on to the path that is for you, remember to enjoy your body and let us not take this wonderful crazy dream we call life for granted”….. Cheers… I learnt smthing today from you 🙂 Thanks!!
Earlier this year, I left a job that was making me miserable in order to pursue a creative path that I thought I wanted. I had no plan, just a chunk of savings and a dream. I accomplished some small projects but ultimately discovered I was not happy as a freelancer and I didn’t even want to do the thing I thought I wanted so badly! I’ve since taken a day job (in a much less stressful industry) and it’s true, my perspective on working – and life – has shifted since I took that risk. Now I see everything as a choice. I don’t feel stuck anymore because I know that I can make a change, any change, at any time.
Yes! I am learning how sometimes you have to go right to go left, and two steps forward/two steps back is just the cha-cha.
I am currently a 14 year ‘veteran’ public school teacher working with high risk students. I love my kids and would not trade the things they have taught me over the years for anything!
Last year I lost my husband of 12 years to cancer. During his illness, I really looked at where I was in my life and where my heart was pulling me. Seeing every intricacy of life and the world around me, through his eyes with so little time left, made me value even the simplest things so much more. We realized our time was truly limited and we absorbed the beauty of every moment we had the six months he survived (even the tough ones).
I have continued teaching and am currently pursuing a second masters degree in mental health counseling. I want to eventually walk beside and guide others on their journeys toward healing from trauma and childhood abuse.
I encourage anyone to pursue their dreams in a responsible way. Stable, secure career or not. Life is just too short and unpredictable to do anything less. I believe we must not just work -to truly live this life we must do our life’s work.
Wow Peter thanks for sharing your story here! Your message is something we can all learn from. I also sometimes need reminding that life is not a race, it can be so tempting to compare ourselves with others. Thank you!
You’re welcome. Always good to hear from someone doing the same thing! Going back to work can be quite tough after leaving to pursue a dream but as long as we keep moving forward we can’t not get there eventually.
Our experiences sound similar Amy; I also lost interest in some of the things I thought I really wanted but I guess that’s why trying them out is so important. It’s great to hear you’ve now found some balance now you’ve taken a day job!
You’re welcome! Glad you enjoyed the post.
I am happy that my long winded tale was helpful guys much love to ye both and Louise keep up the great writing 😉
You’re welcome – good to hear it was of some help!
Thanks for commenting Ame and sorry to hear you’re in a bad place. I felt a bit down too sometimes after leaving work and not really knowing what to do with myself. Good to hear the article has helped you to feel more hopeful.
Thanks MAustin. Yep Tiny Buddha articles have certainly helped me a lot over the last year or so.
You’re welcome. Glad it helped!
Thanks Julie!
Thanks Pooj and you’re welcome! Good luck with your own adventure!
Thanks for your lovely comments, yesudas. Glad you enjoyed the article!
I’m currently struggling with a series of setbacks and this came to me at the perfect time!
Yes, Jennifer! I love your last sentence – so true. Thank you so much for sharing your story here. And I really admire you for the job you’re doing. I know I certainly couldn’t do it!
Love it Denise! Thanks for commenting!
Thanks Atreua. Glad it helped a little!
Thx for the article…it totally resonated with me as I had pursued my dreams to only find out my dream job lacked much of the quality of life I required. Live and learn always move forward!!!
Love this post. I’m currently understanding that work-life balance doesn’t mean getting home from work and doing nothing; it means you can do anything you want once the work day is over; you can use that safe, dependable, stable base to do all of the “unstable” things your heart desires. And if that works into something you can do full-time, awesome. If not, you’re still doing it!
Exactly! If you’re still doing something you love, then the day job is that much more enjoyable. Thanks for the comments!
Yep, exactly. It’s always worth trying even if it doesn’t work out, otherwise you’ll never know.
This is brilliant. Making me start to think about how I can achieve my dreams.
This was exactly what I needed to read today. I have been trying to get disability for over a year and was rejected once again today. (Type 1 Diabetes is not so as easy as one might think). i.e. I believe at times that they would rather us be dying than get disability. ha!
BUT, I have made it through almost 24 years of this disease by refusing to accept negativity about it. “It could always be worse!” is my key phrase. Only, over the last 2 years, that worse just keeps on coming. It’s hard to remain or even to find the positive sometimes.
It’s through random things that I read and then go on to use in my daily life that I make it. Thank you for your words!
Peter you are proof to us all, that what ever life dishes out to us we have the power to how much we allow it to stop us from living. Very inspirational story and good luck with your procedure.
Hello Louise and thank you for your story. I had to have a burn out to realize waiting for the right time to pursue my dreams was not the right thing to do. I put my life on hold until my children were almost out of high school and my husband had reached his goal in his career but unfortunately it cost me mine. I waited 22 years.
What I know today, our dreams are there for us. Our dreams are our personal growth that come from our heart. There may never be a right time or right way in doing things but the only way we will ever know is by taking the first step.
What we will learn from moving forward is something we will never know if we stay where we are. Life appears in front of us by opening doors for guidance. As it does when we are supposed to wait and have patience,and stay still, until the next steps appear.
I am looking forward to creating a new life and taking the steps which will bring me my dreams.
Life is about living our dreams and being happy what ever lesson we need to learn along the way to get there.
I am scared to make such a big change in my life..i have worked at the same place for 25 years in IT and want to get out! It is a bit comforting to know is would be OK if I had to go back!
There’s nothing wrong with achieving your big dreams with baby steps.
I needed to read this today. I’m trying to get the courage to take the plunge into something better.
Thanks for the article Louise. It certainly is inspiring. I’m in a funny stage in my life where I am currently trying to work out what it is that I really want to do. My case is that I actually don’t know what my dream is yet and I feel like I’m working day to day with no plans or direction which in itself can be hard when it comes to motivating oneself.
I work in a nice job with lovely people but it doesn’t challenge or interest me, and I feel like I’ve hit a point where I need to find some kind of direction or work out what really gives me a bit of passion. Reading your post reminded me to be grateful that I do have this job and a nice one too, and that if I want to I can use this time in my life to think about my next step, explore, research. That this position shouldn’t define me but is what I am doing for the time being until I have some idea of my next move. It also inspires me to maybe take on some courses or hobbies outside of work and not put so much emphasis on stressing about working out what I want.
After reading your post…….I’ve decided that you are a good writer, it flows nicely and I just want to read more! Would love to receive a free copy of your book as I have never heard of you and would totally give you my honest opinion and if its pretty good……will encourage others to go out and buy it……..so they can appreciate your work. 🙂
I can totally identify with this feeling. I am curently in limbo of quitting my job to pursue my dreams and I am sooo excited and nervous at the same time. But I think part of embarasssing the future means being willing to accept wherever it takes me. & I would LOVE to get a copy of your book!
Louise’s story is the same for all of us who bought into the idea that we should know who we are, where we are going, how to get there and how to have that elusive fraction kid that all of America seems to say we need. And all before we leave our high schools and childhood friends and family and try to do it all on our own. Or, perhaps, with the help of that special perfect someone we all know is out there for each of us. Sadly, when it doesn’t work out as planned we blame ourselves. Sometimes even our closest friends and family blame us when they’ve done no better.
But, in fact, we’ve done just as we should have. We stretched. We’ve grown. And we should be happy with each new found ability that had we planned it we’d likely as not, not have found.
We need first to learn compassion for ourselves and our fellow creatures. That includes recognizing all we’ve really accomplished while out here do the best we can. If we can accept that things might not be as we’d planned we might see that they are better. Peace and compassion from me to each of you as we travel alone and together on life’s highway.
John
The downs are kinda important, although they hurt pretty bad. Life wouldn’t be such a ride without them. How exciting would a rollercoaster be that started up high and went very fast in a straight line? The downs seem to be were character and spirit come from