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  • June 15, 2014 at 4:53 pm #58882
    Matt
    Participant

    Ajen,

    I’m sorry things aren’t working out the way you hoped, and can understand the mystery that springs to life when our heart feels conflicted. On one hand, you love him, and hoped for a family with him, but on the other, his feelings have changed, and so have yours. To me, it sounds like you love the dream of him, of family, and are really wanting that. Is it with him though? Is it him, the man, that attracts you?

    It seems his heart isn’t into you in that way, and pokey as it may be, sometimes sexual and romantic feelings get intermixed, confused, when old friends connect. All perfectly normal, usual, and common.

    The solution to the mystery is actually pretty simple. Trust your path, and get back to business, hobbies, self nurturing. Reinvest in the dreams you had before him, without him in it, and if something changes, who knows. Don’t wait, waste… your breaths are precious, dear sister, and there’s a whole world out there. 🙂

    With warmth,
    Matt

    June 16, 2014 at 3:54 am #58902
    Inky
    Participant

    At this point let him contact you. Let him do all the work. If he calls you and then goes on and on about not feeling the same, say, “I don’t buy it/So why are you calling me/It sounds like you’re trying to convince yourself, not me. Gotta go, Little Buddy!”

    In the meantime see other people.

    Start thinking and referring to him as your Fan Club. Flip the script, even if it’s in your own mind.

    When he calls again and wants to get together, say, “I don’t think that’s a good idea.” He blew it last time, after all! Maybe a year later you can meet ~ for coffee, and coffee only.

    The best part is when you really have moved on, he calls out of the blue, and your BF picks up the phone and calls, “Honey! It’s the President of your Fan Club!… Yeah… That guy… *laughs*” 😉

    • This reply was modified 10 years, 10 months ago by Inky.
    June 16, 2014 at 1:06 pm #58917
    ajen
    Participant

    Hi All,

    Thank you for the replies, they really helped. I think the best way for me to deal with this is to be as active as possible and distract myself. I won’t allow myself to live in the hope that he will come back as it will only cause me pain in the future if it doesn’t happen. If it’s meant to be it will and if it isn’t I probably won’t remember his name in a few years :-))

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