Dear Harry:

Above, on Nov 29, 2016, you wrote to me:

“Thank you, Anita. I did not post in the appreciation section, but what you do here really makes a difference. It’s like a type of therapy and connection.”

My response on the same day: “You are welcome, gracious Harry.”, and then dived into analysis and guidance.

On Dec 27, 2016, on your other thread (“Why do anything”), you wrote to me:

“Hi. Anita. Honestly, you are a wonderful person. I am happy I came here. It’s great connecting with you here. Who knows, maybe I might have the honor of bumping into you one day”

In my response there, on that same day, there was no acknowledgment at all of the warmth you expressed. My response dived straight into guidance:

“Dear Harry: How to spend your time wisely? One or more of the following: 1. Attend one-to-one competent psychotherapy. 2. Attend competent group psychotherapy… 7. Attend a public speaking or acting class. anita”

These past exchanges teach me today how uncomfortable and unsafe I have been with emotional closeness and how safer I felt with emotional distance, shifting quickly to analyzing, guiding, taking on the teacher- helper role. That’s a childhood survival adaptation that continued into most of my adulthood.

I want to explore this later.

Anita