Hey anita

Yeah abuse is off the table, since i’ve experienced much of it in my upbringing..

That’s what i should be doing but i can’t focus on anything without having her running in the back of my mind. For example, today i went for a walk with a friend that i hadn’t seen in months, the whole walk i was thinking of her, checking my feelings and stuff. Then i went home (we were texting) and i felt unable to connect/uninterested, but same thing was towards my friend too. So i suspect it was either a state of mine at that specific time or maybe it was my friend’s fault, maybe he’s boring or i can’t connect with anyone in general. I felt the need to go home so i told him, i got home, continued talking with her, then i had some laughs with our convo. And now, 5 minutes ago i was crying because i saw a reel from the dudu bear that was crying, fearing he is not enough for his girl and she will leave him. Idk why i cried so much to this.

It’s like i am burnt out since that day of november and i can’t recover, i can’t connect with people, i can’t focus on conversations, food lost it’s taste, everything..