Dear Arden:

I am not focused enough to read and process your original post of only five minutes ago, but I wanted to let you know: I am so happy to read from you!!! I will be back you Thurs morning (Wed evening here).

anita

Dear Arden:

“I was available, for my friends’ vulnerable times. For their couple fights, I was around. If she needed to lie her mother, I was there. If she needed to study I was there… I was available for them, and when I wasn’t available for once, I was getting a bad attitude… I was working two jobs and my landlord got rid of me. I was also in a relationship, so pretty busy. Therefore I stopped being available for their pains… every close girl friend I can think of, almost every one of them are very selfish“-

–  I found this online, Arden. Please tell me if it’s accurate in regard to you, having been an over-responsible, over-doing, selfless (self-sacrificial) person): “Over-responsible, over-doing, and self-sacrificial people often harbor deep feelings of resentment towards those they perceive as selfish or taking advantage of them. This resentment stems from several factors: 1. Feeling Exploited: They may feel that their efforts and sacrifices are being taken for granted or not reciprocated. 2. Burnout: Constantly putting others’ needs ahead of their own can lead to emotional and physical exhaustion, heightening feelings of frustration and resentment. 3. Lack of Appreciation: When their hard work goes unnoticed or unappreciated, it can foster feelings of bitterness. 4. Unmet Needs: They might neglect their own needs and desires, leading to a build-up of internal frustration and dissatisfaction. 5. Imbalance in Relationships: The unequal give-and-take in relationships can create a sense of unfairness and injustice. 6. Self-Worth Issues: Overdoing for others can be a way to seek validation and self-worth, but when this isn’t met with appreciation, it can lead to self-doubt and anger.

“These individuals might struggle to set boundaries or assert their needs, which further perpetuates the cycle of over-responsibility and resentment. It’s crucial for them to recognize these patterns and work towards healthier boundaries and self-care practices”.

Does this resonate with you?

anita

Hello Arden

I found my sisterhood thru concentrating on my spiritual life, all my close & supportive friends have the same priorities/outlook towards a spiritual life even if it is not the same religion. We laugh & support each other & are at ease with silence between us.

I hope that you can find a group of like minded people to spend time with and that it develops into a gentle & supportive friendship.

@rise Navigating friendships can be challenging, especially when expectations and realities clash. It’s essential to prioritize your well-being and recognize that not all relationships will meet your needs. Focus on building connections with those who respect your boundaries and share mutual support, while also being open to new friendships that align with your values.