Hi Chau

That sounds difficult dealing with this month long break. And hearing a long term partner decide whether they want to be with you in the future, not to mention asking you to move out. You are going through a lot right now.

No wonder if you are feeling things about the situation. Would you like to talk about how you feel about the situation?

Love and best wishes! ❤️🙏

Hello Anita,

Thanks for replying me

I also remember you 🙂 You gave me a lot of advices and helped me through. I was reading other forums and thinking if you are the Anita whom I knew 🙂

Thanks for trying to look at my past posts. I think I found my old account and am using it now, are you able to see any posts that i had before?

This is just day 3 and I find myself having all sort of thinking and feelings that may/ may not have basis at all

All sorts of insecurity, sadness, a bit  of anger, lost, helplessness, a bit irritated by the fact that I need to ‘wait’ for one month, a bit lonely as I can’t reach out to her and connect with her as much as I want to/used to. Doubting the intent of the break, she mentioned she needed time to clear her mind and ‘restart’, but  sometime i also double if she just wan to use this time to break up(I also honestly told her that if that’s her intent dun ask me to take a break, but just break up), so basically just build up from what happened/ imagined/ my friend said, and have different hypothesis around the break.

we are a lesbian couple. So I guess there are some suppression here and there

i think it is from the fact that she can’t tell everyone, she is not as openly gay as I am. I am out to most of my friends, she is not, her concern is on work? and possibly still unsure of me as a long term partner? unsure

She did recently open up to her younger brother, from whom she received blessing and support.

Hi Chau

Disappointed, insecure, sad, rejected, grieving, irritated, angry, helpless and lonely. Those are a lot of very understandable feelings because it is such a complicated and challenging time. It must be an intense time for you. It is very big of you to try to stay positive and even consider accepting a continuation of this relationship after these difficulties.

I’m sorry to hear that your partner has hidden the relationship from family (except for one sibling) for 5 and a half years.

You are also concerned that this time is being used to break up. To me, that is a valid concern. Your partner has chosen a rather brutal way to make her decision. What did she say when you asked her about that?

I have a couple of concerns about this situation too. 1) I feel like it is unfairly harsh on you. You are expected to patiently wait around while going through a lot of suffering. 2) I’m not sure about cultural stance regarding being gay or even modern dating practices. In some countries it is illegal and this makes the lives of gay people very difficult, in other countries it is not illegal. In some countries people use breaks to see other people. Was this discussed?

If you think taking the chance that your partner will change her mind is worth the pain of being left on the hook is worth it. That is your decision.

It seems to me that you have already been on the hook waiting for 5 and a half years. You deserve to be with someone who loves you for you and at least acknowledges your presence to people that they are close with.

I think that love is a choice. There have been days where I have fallen out of love when things were difficult. But the choice is made to reconnect and fall in love with a partner, or not. The choice to love someone or not is made every day.

Love and best wishes! ❤️🙏