“Some people believe holding on and hanging in there are signs of great strength. However, there are times when it takes much more strength to know when to let go and then do it.” ~Ann Landers
Until recently, the name “Tiny Buddha” didn’t make any sense to me for a website. Why “tiny”? Yet, an experience I had recently helped me understand why it might make sense to put those two words together.
This experience even led me to ask two key questions that help me to let go of whatever I’m holding onto.
Swimming with “Sharks”
It all started when I got a call from the producers of the TV show “Shark Tank.” The casting producer said he’d heard about my online “happiness course” and thought it would make a great idea for a business to “pitch” on the show—in front of millions of people.
They asked if I wanted to apply for a likely shot to be on their show.
Once I hung up the phone, I was extremely excited. In the 90’s I had been on Oprah a few times, and I loved the added attention and money her endorsements brought to my books. Although I had been focused on my spiritual path for the last fifteen years, I could feel my old longing for fame and fortune come galloping back.
Yet, the more I thought about it, the more I felt like something was wrong. Our Western cult/culture tells us that fame and fortune are good—even wonderful things. Yet, does Donald Trump look happy?
When I reflected on my life, I saw that the happiest times were when I felt connected to others. It feels magical to realize we are all simply small parts in a larger “whole of humanity.” If I so love feeling connected to people, then why was I still holding onto wanting to be “special” so intensely?
Questioning My Motives
Questioning my motives was painful. One part of me really wanted to feel special—even superior—again. Yet, somehow I knew that the real thing I was after was being smaller—not bigger. Only a “tiny” ego can have the spaciousness to see what’s needed in any given moment.
Our parents, our educational system, and our society reward us for attempting to be big—whether that may be in terms of being rich, famous, or successful.
But who do you really look up to? The business tycoon with lots of power or the loving friend who is always compassionate and there for you?
The problem with “getting small” is that it requires a lot of letting go of the parts of our self that seek out separation, power, and wanting all the attention. Yet, when I let go of my need for constant attention and power, that’s when I realize the world of love and peace are always available here and now.
But letting go is not easy to do, especially when some “sharks” are awaiting you.
The Two Questions
As I struggled to decide about the show, I remembered two questions author Peter Russell said he used to help let go of stuff. The first question was, “If I get this thing I’m holding onto, will it make me happy for long?” The second question was, “If I don’t get this thing I’m wanting, can I still be happy?”
As I reflected on each of these questions, my mind’s “Velcro tendency” to grab and hold on tightly began to soften. “If I get this will I be happy for long?” No, not really. “If I don’t get this, can I still be happy?” Absolutely.
When I called back the producer at Shark Tank and told him I was not going to be on the show, he sounded very surprised. His exact words were, “We’ve hardly ever had anyone say no to an offer like this. You’re missing out on a great opportunity.”
I thought about what he said about “missing out on a great opportunity.” In reality, every time we demand being center stage and trying to be a “big” Buddha, we miss out on a great opportunity.
In fact, each moment is an opportunity if our ego is small enough to allow this magical moment to shine through loud and clear.
Letting Go of Regrets
Right after saying “no” to the Shark Tank show, I had one regret. I would have liked to tell the “sharks” that the endless pursuit of money and fame was a waste of time.
I would have liked to tell them they don’t look very happy to me—and being happy and loving are surely more important than riches.
But I soon realized my desire to “tell off” the famous shark investors on the show was just one more thing my ego was holding onto. So I asked myself, “Would being self-righteous like that really make me happy for long?” No. “If I let go of my self-righteousness, can I still be happy?” Yes.
Finding the Buddha Within
Happiness and joy are our natural states—just look at little kids. If they’re not in pain or immediate discomfort, they’re pretty happy. So our job is to see and let go of whatever obstacles are in the way of that natural joy of being alive.
For me, being around friends who can remind me that love and happiness are more important than being famous has been key. In addition, asking questions like the ones I presented here have been helpful in assisting me to let go of unnecessary baggage.
The Buddha is already inside of us; it’s our job to make sure our ego and desires stay small enough that they don’t block the view.
Photo by JM Abania
About Jonathan Robinson
Jonathan Robinson is the author of 12 books, a frequent guest on Oprah, and the co-host of the popular podcast Awareness Explorers. (for more info: AwarenessExplorers.com)
Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 
Thank you for your uplifting words. So well said!
Excellent insights Jonathan! Thank you for sharing! Your post reminded me of a very meaningful quote from Ajahn Chah: “Do everything with a mind that lets go. Don’t accept praise or gain or anything else. If you let go a little you a will have a little peace; if you let go a lot you will have a lot of peace; if you let go completely you will have complete peace. ”
Good call Jonathan. I respect your courage…sometimes “big” is tiny and “tiny” is big.
Really enjoyed this, thank you!
What a nice article. It gave me some good insights, thanks for sharing.
Great Article!
Sure, most people want to be the center of fame and have a lot of money, but often times those are not the happiest people.
Often, the happiest people in the world are those that live the simple life styles. Those will lots of fame and money are superficially happy, but on a deeper level they are not happy at all and often get tired of all the nonsense.
Cheers
Hi Luca, …sounds like you know some famous people! Thanks for the kind words….warmly, Jonathan
Hi Michael,
I love that quote. thanks!
warmly, Jonathan
Stumbling across this article has made my rainy day in St. Petersburg, FL not so dreary after all! Thought-provoking and uplifting…thanks Jonathan! Peace…
this really inspired me. you had the courage to walk away from something that many unhappy people wouldve jumped at, including myself.
Haha I know a few.
Cheers for the article Jonathan!
Wow this is simply amazing. I think there are very few people like
you out there. Thanks for sharing this – I really needed this at this
time of my life. May god bless you my friend and always keep you
‘happy’!
This was eye opening… for me the part about how happiness and joy are our natural states and to just look at little kids. So true. Thank you for sharing. As a small business owner, I once had a friend who’s business went pretty big say to me, “You know you could be so much more.. etc.” And I told him I’m happy where I am, and if I was any bigger it would be more than I could handle or even want. I don’t think he understood that I wanted to be with my kids, and I actually wanted to contain my business’s growth. All he saw was dollar signs.
Great post Jonathan!
Isn’t it funny how that ego-charge show has booking agents who are filled with just as much ego.
It was a slap in the face that you chose a different route and said no to them. They being all high and mighty would have reacted in a place of ” how dare he”!
I really enjoyed your article Jonathan. I think, wealth and fame doesn’t make people happy, but neither does it make unhappy. some rich people are very happy, others are very unhappy. Some poor people are very happy, others are very unhappy.
What makes people unhappy is the illusion of: “Once I’m rich, once I’m famous… I will be happy and my life will be great”. Because, once they get there (oftentimes after years of struggle and sacrifice) they realize that nothing has really changed and they feel as empty as before.
Everyone has the ability to experience happiness right now – no matter what the current circumstances may be. It is just a mind shift, a matter of becoming aware of the great things that are already in your life and a matter of taking the focus off of what may be missing ( a bigger house, a better job, a different partner…)
The more you follow your heart & passion, the better you will feel, the happier you will be. And if while following your passion you become famous and make a lot of money, it won’t be a problem (just an interesting playground of new experiences); and if you don’t earn a lot of money while following your passion, it is not a big deal neither, because anyway you will already have what everyone so desperately wants – Happiness.
In reality, people don’t want money (money is just boring paper with some stuff printed on it…), people want to feel good, they want to be happy. It is only an illusion they believe in: When I have all that money, I can buy that big house and be happy, I can travel the world and I will be happy, people will respect me…
This doesn’t work. It needs to be the other way round: FIRST be happy and then there is a very good chance that you also get the money. When you are happy first, you will no longer be attached to the urgent need of having money and it can flow naturally.
The other way round, of gaining wealth and fame out of an unhappy state of being and then hoping that happiness will follow is an illusion and it is the main reason why there are so many unhappy millionaires.
oh, i see, I get it. look at me! I get it!
You hit the nail on the head with your post. I used to think that if I had money that I would be happy. But that is not true. I have to be happy with my life and follow my passion. I realized that once you do what makes you happy then The Universe deliver to you all the things that you need. People need to stop looking externally for happiness, and start looking internally. Great comment.