A while back I shared a quote by an unknown author that reads:
“You know who’s going through a lot right now? Literally everyone. Just be kind.”
It got me thinking about all the struggles we assume other people don’t have—because we’d never guess from the looks of them.
You’d never guess that your confident colleague struggles with PTSD from childhood abuse and neglect.
You’d never guess that your boisterous brother-in-law beats himself up because he doesn’t earn enough to get his family out of debt.
You’d never guess that your collected cousin cries in the bathroom every day because she’s overwhelmed by parenthood and scared she’s messing it up.
You’d probably also never guess how many times you’ve been someone’s lifeline, simply by being kind.
A hug, a hand, an ear, a compliment—small acts of support and encouragement like these can help someone believe in themselves and their future when they feel like giving up.
And it’s not just the gesture itself that makes a difference, though a little bit of support can provide a massive amount of relief. It’s the reminder that there are good people out there who care and want to help.
There’s little more powerful than reminding someone there’s more love in the world than hate. Give someone the gift of faith in humanity, and you’re literally giving them the world—a world of light to believe in, no matter how dark things may seem.
This is why I keep re-reading and gifting Brad Aronson’s book HumanKind: Changing the World One Small Act a Time. The kindness stories are like a palate cleanser after a tough day has left a bad taste in my mouth. They touch me, restore me, and inspire me to be someone else’s reason to believe in people.
And all the author’s royalties go to Big Brothers, Big Sisters, which means buying a copy is an act of kindness for both yourself and someone else.
I’ve written about the book several times now, so it’s possible you’re already familiar with Brad’s story. You may already know he was inspired to write this book after his friends and family rallied around him and his wife Mia during her battle with leukemia. You may also know that the book offers both uplifting stories and practical tips to make a difference in the world.
You might not know that someone in your life needs this book right now and will likely refer to it for years to come. That they may highlight passages and dog ear pages that give them a sense of peace and purpose, and maybe even pay it forward to someone else whose life will be better and brighter because of it. Someone who’s going through a lot right now, though no one would guess or believe it.
That’s the thing about kindness: it ripples in ways you could never anticipate and will likely never know. But you can know you’re being the change you want to see, and that you’re changing the world even if you don’t see it.
True to form, Brad has generously offered ten copes of HumanKind to Tiny Buddha readers, four of which I’ll giveaway here on the blog (the others on social media).
To enter to win a copy, share an act of kindness you’ve recently received or witnessed in the comment section below.
You can enter until midnight PST on Sunday, April 17th. I’ll update this post with the winners after I choose them and will also send a follow-up email next week.
If you’d like to buy a copy for yourself or a friend now (which I highly recommend!), you can grab one on Amazon here.
About Lori Deschene
Lori Deschene is the founder of Tiny Buddha. She started the site after struggling with depression, bulimia, c-PTSD, and toxic shame so she could recycle her former pain into something useful and inspire others to do the same. You can find her books, including Tiny Buddha’s Gratitude Journal and Tiny Buddha’s Worry Journal, here and learn more about her eCourse, Recreate Your Life Story, if you’re ready to transform your life and become the person you want to be.
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Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine.
Had a coworker blow up at me and a colleague in the middle of an otherwise straightforward conversation. After hanging up another co-worker came over to me and said: “I can’t fix anything or offer any words of suggestion, but I can offer a hug.” Simple. Powerful. Meaningful. Supportive.
A little girl in a shopping buggy waved to me, I waved back and she said “I like your glasses, they are pretty”. Such a small thing but after a bad day seeing that sweet little face radiating kindness and love reinforced that we are all born kind and she was brave enough to show it.
I’ve been saving my latte money everyday (no lattes for some time now) to donate to organizations that support the Ukraine. It’s the least I could do, besides praying for them.
Recently lost my fur baby of 17.5 years. That night we received 10″ of snow. A wonderful neighbor of mine offered to clear my sidewalk and driveway free of charge. It was a blessing as I was just devastated and this eased the pain a bit!
I was having a very rough day. I was walking through a shopping center and it was obvious by looking at me that I was upset. A woman stopped me and said, “Hey, honey? I don’t know what’s wrong. But I want you to know that it will be alright. The universe works things out.” Then she asked if she could hug me. That hug was the best thing ever! That was three years ago, and she’s now one of my best friends. The universe does, indeed, work things out. 🙂
I work with folks in community mental health who give their blood, sweat
and tears to support and help clients with basic necessities such as
food, housing and emotional support.
I witnessed a book author giving away his self help book to help others👍😊
I offered a hug to a crying stranger on my morning walk and she accepted. She sobbed hard and just needed someone to hold her. No words shared but we parted as friends and supporters.
A dear friend offered to bring me food after I had a very long day. HumanKind indeed!
There’s an elderly woman in my neighborhood who is in particularly bad health. Well, our property manager is rigidly strict and mandated that all lawns be to community guidelines by April 1st. So, knowing she couldn’t do anything my son (7) and I went over and did a complete spring clean up, ie limbs picked up, edged the yard, sprayed weed killer, mowed, weed eated the whole nine yards. I accepted no payment but the smile on her face later on that day from our surprise was truly priceless.
I work at a Senior Living Community. This is a age in place environment and we are all used to loosing people quite often. We become close, we become friends and we learn to love one another, not knowing when our last day may be. Two months ago we lost 3 people in one month, seemingly back to back. Everyone seemed so down and depressed… so I started passing out “You Matter” cards to all the residents. Death sometimes make people drift apart, especially when faced with their own mortality. Each time I gave one out I gave a huge hug.. and received one back . I gave one to a resident and she gave it back to me saying “You matter too”. So I gave her another. I have mined pinned on my bulletin board in my office. It’s a close reminder of how much love can be shared even in the face of death.
I received an act of kindness from a friend who saw I needed a boost and dropped off fresh flowers and a beautiful note the other day. It meant the world to me and inspired me to pay it forward by making and delivering surprise spring cookies to friends….
Just yesterday, April 13, 2022, while working(retail sales/POS) had a husband and wife stop in for the first time and the husband stopped at the POS counter and started a speaking with me so I continued with the conversation while his wife looked around. We had a good 10 minute conversation. It was slow at that moment so even I had an opportunity to simply share life things with someone as well, this was a give and receive kindness moment for all of us.
I am experiencing multiple acts of kindness as I read through all of these beautiful posts and crying tears of pure joy. For my observation…there is a very vibrant elderly couple in my building. I encountered one of them on my walk this morning. We ended up chatting for quite some time. He is a wonderful conversationalist, always has wonderful wisdom to share, and very entertaining life stories. Imagine my surprise when he thanked me for taking time to engage with him and it made his day to have such a lively chat. In that moment, I was reminded of the true power of connection. His kind words (and the “lively” conversation) made my day!
My friend called me when I was feeling so down! Somehow she felt the need to call me. It was perfect. I was feeling so overwhelmed that day and though no one cared. And there she was when I needed her. Somehow we have always had that special connection.
I gave a woman w 3 kids I met at a thrift store $100 for groceries to feed her family 💝
I was scheduled to work and someone I work with was scheduled to work that same shift but their car was in the shop. They asked for a ride and I gave it to them. I have never spoken to this person before and we just talked about life. It was nice to help someone and they really appreciated the ride.
After my dad passed I was getting rid of his manual recliner armchair he’d only sat in once and offered it for free if the person came and collected it. A couple came and told me they were gifting it to their Portugese neighbour, she was elderly and her armchair was broken but she’d not been able to afford one so had been in bed for weeks. My dad’s chair went to that last 😊
I was struggling with choosing not to take a trip with my sister because of COVID anxiety and residual PTSD from working at a nursing home during a big outbreak in 2020, and my boyfriend surprised me by taking me to a pastry shop that hadn’t even opened yet and he arranged for a private preview. It really lifted my spirits!
I’d received an act of kindness by my brother who’d paid for my gym fees.
My neighbors are not in the best of health and sometimes forget to bring in their garbage bins. I was at an HOA meeting and the Board was going to issue my neighbors with a violation notice for leaving the bins out overnight so I told the Board I would take care of it. So, now, any time I see their garbage bins left out after the trucks have been through I wheel them alongside the house. Last week, they had put palm fonds in their bin and the truck didn’t empty the bin because the fonds were sticking out, so I took over some cutters and chopped down the fonds so the garbage bin lid closed, and the trash was then taken.
My neighbor on the other side of my house has been very sick for a couple of years and due to a weak immune system has not been able to be around groups of people since COVID-19 hit. He has had to spend all the Holidays alone so I take him a plate of food and something sweet for dessert so at least he doesn’t feel forgotten.
A woman in her 60’s was approached by a large, intimidating homeless man asking for money for food. Without questioning his intentions, she handed him $20 and even took a moment to help him zip up his jacket (he was shivering from the cold). That man had tears in his eyes when he walked away.
As an empathic giver – I have hibitually given to others. Rececetly I quit my job to finally began giving to myself. I am learning to be kind to myself by taking care of my physical, mental and emotional health. In being kind to others we, empaths, must’nt forget to be kind to ourselves. Lesson: in progress. 🙂
I struggle with depression and anxiety, and before leaving my last job I was in a really dark place due to the work environment I was in, I have a friend who is also my neighbor, and we often check on each other and when we have time we try to go for a bite or just for a walk if there’s not enough; so one of those really bad days we talked and she got a little worried so she kept checking almost every day after work, and one of those nights she brought me a little self-care package, and told me that she asked the sales person for something special for a friend who was feeling a little sad and needed a “pick me up”, when she gave it to me she made me cried because usually I’m the one who does that for others even for her, and she did that for me this
time when I needed it the most, so I’m incredibly thankful for having her in my life!
I havebeen battliing a debilitating eye issue
( not curable) for nearly a year. A Dear Dear friend surprised me with a poster she sent in the mail to me..it read…
The Devil whispered , “You are not strong enough to withstand the storm. Today I whispered back, I AM THE STORM!!!
It made my day and gave me courage to face the days ahead. I love my friend for always being there for me!!!.❤❤❤
I work at an automobile dealership with some wonderful people. Recently, a local winery, Hernder Estates, had a terrible fire which damaged the venue substantially. A young couple had booked a wedding at the venue for May 15th, but obviously that couldn’t happen after the fire at the winery. The new car manager at our dealership had a company golf tournament booked at a local golf course for May 15th. He heard about the fire, and the couples dilemma, and immediately offered up his booking at the golf course for them to use as their wedding venue. He said he can reschedule the golf tournament for later in the year. The couple were beside themselves with gratitude for being able to go ahead with their special day!
My husband passed away 18 months ago and my mother 3 months ago so I’m having a hard time. I was out shoveling the driveway two days ago and had a grief burst. First, the neighbor dog came over and sat with me on the step while I cried. Then her mom came over, gave me a hug and invited me to dinner that night. They have been the most wonderful neighbors helping me on this difficult grief journey.
The kindness I received was my friend of 30+ years who just sat and listened to me. I struggle to use my voice and often come up with quite a bit of reverberating when I do. When I get to the point I “talk” about the situation and not hide it, it is huge for me.
My friend just sat and loved me, not judging or giving an opinion (and let me tell you there could have been many, many, many to be had). She let me talk out in a safe place so I could work to resolve my conflict. It is quite rare to just have a person be there in genuine loving presence.
I’m a supervisor at a mutli-client call center who takes calls and also quality monitors other agents’ calls. I had the privilege of listening to a conversation where an elderly woman whose oxygen machine had an alarm go off, scaring her to pieces as she lives alone. The agent was patient, kind, walked her through the couple of steps to fix the issue (cord came partly unplugged from the machine) and told her to call back anytime, no matter when. The woman was so thankful for the help and patience of this agent that she was in tears. (Now I’m in tears, thinking about it!) She assumed she’d have to wait for someone to show up to check the machine or for a new one to be brought to her but thanks to the agent taking a few moments, the patient got it working and felt safe at home alone again. She praised them for their job well done–as did I! <3
I saw a man on a motorcycle stop and help an elderly man cross the road.
So today we held a easter egg hunt for a childrens’ home in Johannesburg (South Africa). It was load of fun and trying to get the kids with the least eggs to find more was quite a task…. so once we were done with the hunt the kids all came to sit down under the canopy (it was hot and running made them even hotter). They were asked to all show their finds. Some had huge bag full others had one maybe two. So we addressed the importance of sharing. Reluctantly the owners of big bags start sharing but this one little boy stood out. He just gave to everyone that had 1 or 2 in their bag so much so that he nearly didn’t have any! He was 5… at that age to share cause others dont have even if it means you have nothing was just amazing to see…. we obviously made sure he also had a bag with easter eggs after sharing with everyone
My neighbor informed me my little squirrel buddy had passed away by our big tree ad she said I should “toss him in the garbage”..I held a burial ad he is a forever memory in my garden. This human also says a prayer each time I come upon a creature whilst it’s life on the road, “Thank you for making the world a more beautiful place.”
I watched someone buy food for a homeless person.
I love reading all these stories. It is helping restore my faith in humanity (a little bit).
When I was at the playground with my grandson an older boy lowered the basketball hoop so that my grandson could play. I made sure to thank the boy and let his parents know how kind he was.
My previous boss called me to let me know there was a job opening at another location.
In the checkout line at the grocery store last week, a young mother with 4 kiddos at her side and a cartful of groceries. There was a young adult male in between the mother and myself. As the store clerk was scanning her groceries, the mom started frantically looking for something. After all the groceries had been scanned the mother was in tears. Her wallet had fallen out of the diaper bag. The store was busy (5pm) with many people in line. The young female store clerk told the Mom what her grocery total was and when the Mom stated she couldn’t find her wallet, the clerk became rude and disrespectful. The mom was embarrassed, her baby was fussy, while all the store employees and other shoppers in the area stared at her. I offered to hold the baby while she walked around the store looking for her wallet. As she was handing me the baby, the young man in front of me told the store clerk he would pay for her groceries. The total was well over 200.00. The mom initially declined his offer. The young man insisted and stepped forward putting his debit card in the slot. The mother started crying even harder and asked the young man if she could give him a hug. He allowed it. Two of the young kids told him thank you also. I continued to hold the baby why her groceries were bagged up. I encouraged Mom to still take a walk around the store in search of her wallet while I stayed with the kiddos and her groceries. By the time she came back (without her wallet) the young man who graciously paid for her groceries was long gone. For all I know, this young man may have only had a few hundred dollars to his name and without hesitation he paid for a complete strangers groceries. I left the store with tears in my eyes having witnessed such a beautiful thing!
I am a Ranger in the local National Park here in England. Today, I returned to base late afternoon having been out on a litter picking exercise. In the area near our base was a family with three children; the youngest was 3 1/2 years old, the next one must’ve been about five and then the next one was perhaps 10 years old. The children saw me with my litter-pick tool and, with their parents’ consent, each one had a go at finding litter around our base. Even the youngest found some waste paper in the hedge bottom and brought it to my litter sack.
This is an act of kindness on the children’s behalf. They were being kind to the environment, to the universe, to the world that they are growing up in. The oldest boy was also exceptionally kind to his youngest brother by helping him find litter he could collect. It was a joy to be part of these young peoples care and kindness for the world they live in.
I recently went through a drive through and paid for the car behind me. It was only $8, but still felt good to do.
My in-laws surprised me one day and just showed up to take my little ones for the day so I could have some personal time – something not easily done as a busy working mama! It was so thoughtful and so needed!!
Shortly after giving birth to my daughter, I was experiencing postpartum depression and feeling all kinds of emotions, especially my inadequacy as a mother. Being stuck at home due to Covid also worsened the feelings I have of being trapped. My supervisor has been an angel. Not only did she arrange a virtual meeting with a few other colleagues so we could have an open space and discuss what motherhood was like and talk about our experiences, she also invited me and my husband to her home. We danced off our stress together and she even got me a cake that said “Best Mom” on it to remind me that I am truly the best mom for my child. I really appreciate her kindness during that dark time.
A few days ago my son reminded of a time that I was in the grocery store parking lot and gave a homeless person some of the food that we’d just bought. I had forgotten about it. We talked about being kind to those in need. That happened years ago, but randomly yesterday I was approached by a homeless person in the parking lot of that same grocery store. He kindly asked for food or money if I could spare it. I don’t know how I would of reacted yesterday, if I had not just had that conversation with my son, reminding me that it’s ok and a good thing to reach out to others when we can. With that conversation at the forefront of my mind, I gave this person a banana and a dollar. If I can help, then by all means I will help.
Watching my friend in Italy welcome a full family 2 women and children from Ukraine into her home. Her home is small but she gave up her rooms to help them. My friend has organised home education and support groups for the people and also helping them with jobs.This is beyond belief the suffering that we witness in this moment but nothing can break the love of humanity within some of us.
We recently had a ‘nominate a colleague’ thing at work where you had to nominate a colleague and give a reason for doing so and I got nominated because I had helped and supported a colleague and they wanted it recognised.
I am happy to forego the book as there are others out there more deserving, and my point really is that sometimes it is nice to see that others see what we do in the sense that it has a positive impact. And it actually helped me on a day when I was not on top form 🙂
It may be small, and maybe it doesn’t affect a lot of folks…but I make sure to smile at every stranger. You never know who needs it. Needs to be seen. Strike up a little conversation – I’ve been told by many strangers how grateful they were of such a small gesture and a little of my time.
Really wish we had more people doing this. I can relate to having these little smiles or encounters happen to me and remember every day how meaningful it was to me…helped me hold my head a little higher and make it through that day.
Some Girl Scouts were holding a coat drive outside of a mall. One of the girls’ grandmothers took off her jacket and put it in the collection bin. The little girl said “But it’s cold – you need your coat!” and the grandmother told her “someone else needs it more than I do”
We are moving to a new house in the next town over. While taking some boxes over in our car and unloading them at the house, one of the neighbors stopped by. He introduced himself and told us how nice the neighbors are. His wife had helped take care of the woman who lived in our house before she passed away. Her children also left us a note commenting about the nice neighbors. I’m so looking forward to meeting more of our new neighbors and becoming a part of this neighborhood!!
I live in a low-cost seniors building & one of my neighbours will often message me if she going out, to see if I need anything. I have mobility issues, so it’s really helpful at times. I often do the same, if I am going out.
I always try to be kind to others, but the most recent kindness that I received was at work – I found out on Monday that my manager was pushing for me to get a “bigger than average” raise, and it went through. Across the board, most employees are receiving only 2-2.75% raises annually, but this time around I received a 6% raise. I was very surprised and very grateful!
My husband and I aren’t very plant-savvy, but we have a next-door neighbor who is! Our yard is much larger than theirs, but we don’t do anything special with it because we wouldn’t know where to begin! After several conversations about how we admire their garden and plants, our neighbor surprised us by planting a line of lilac bushes along the edge of our yard, and they’re now starting to bloom!
Kindness begins at home. I’ve been an empty nester and am single for 3 years now. My kids know it’s not getting easier on me, but actually more difficult coming to the realization that after college they are not coming home but flying even further away. As thrilled as I am to see them beginning the lives’ journeys, it’s lonely. But these kinds souls always reach out to me daily. A good morning text from one, a “lava you” text from another, a random facetime, a phone call. Every. Single. Day. Their kindness inspires me.