“Self-care equals success. You’re going to be more successful if you take care of yourself and you’re healthy.” ~Beth Behrs
Does your job ever seem to take over your life?
Mine has, more than once, despite some drastic changes to stop it each time.
For twelve years I worked a sixty-hour-a-week consulting job in London, UK. I loved my team, and much of my work, but I wasn’t good at switching off.
Whiplash from a minor car accident initiated a chronic pain condition that grew worse and worse with each passing day.
I didn’t think I was allowed to take care of myself at work. At work, I felt my focus should be on being productive, getting more done, being the best, getting promoted, earning more—on success.
But my definition of success wasn’t bringing me happiness.
Breaking Point(s)
The moment when my chronic pain was such agony that I spent an entire conversation with a beloved team member holding back tears, not hearing anything they said, was a wake-up call.
I told myself what a bad manager I was, piling negative feelings on in addition to the grinding, constant physical hurt.
I created suffering on top of the pain.
After a lot of soul searching, I took a sabbatical where I planned to “lie on a beach and rest.”
But I took my personality with me. I never went back to my job, but within a few years, I’d created a new life, that I also loved, but I worked in 25 countries and took 100 flights a year.
Oh, and I caught strep throat seven times in that same year.
This time, when I realized what was happening, my suffering was a little less. I was frustrated, but at this point, I had developed a self-care practice. I had more tools, more self-kindness, more self-compassion.
Last year, another busy year when I wrote a book about work wellness and ran an international consulting practice, I went to the emergency room several times.
What I thought was my chronic pain had gotten so bad I admitted I needed help.
At the hospital, they decided to do exploratory surgery. And found endometritis, which had caused a 6cmx4cm cyst and spread infection throughout my abdomen. It took the removal of the cyst and a further eight days of intravenous antibiotics before they’d send me home.
I took some time off….
Now while I can’t say I’m never going to go through this loop again, what these experiences have taught me is that in order to be the best version of ourselves, it’s as critical to take care of ourselves at work as is it as at home.
It’s not just okay to take care of yourself at work, it’s obligatory.
Despite the fact our job often takes up a third of our waking hours or more, most of us feel it’s inappropriate to think about ‘fluffy’ concepts like work wellness, or self-care, while we’re working.
We’re wrong.
If we neglect habits of kindness to ourselves in this arena, our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors at work can lead to burnout, resentment, anger, or exhaustion.
Be Intentional
Bringing an attitude of self-kindness and self-compassion to work is likely to make you a better employee. You’ll have more energy to work with the difficult customers and challenging employees, or on the complex and confusing tasks that are dumped on you.
The following are ideas you can try at work to ensure you nourish yourself in that context. They are designed to be small and inexpensive. Leave those that don’t speak to you, but make the choice to include several in each week—and start today.
Simple Self-Care for Physical Work Wellness
1. Clean your tech mindfully. Take three minutes to wipe down your phone, laptop, screen, anything technological you use for work. As you do, be grateful for what these technologies add to your life.
2. Sit up straight. We all have a tendency to slump over our keyboards. Adjust your posture: pull your shoulders back and align your head with your spine.
3. Take one deep breath. Just one. But make it a good, long one. Breathe out and imagine that breath flushing through your body and going into the earth to ground you.
4. Plot a route. Plan a short (20-minute) easy walk you can take at lunch or during breaks at least twice a week. Put it in your diary.
5. Stand up. Use a box or books to lift your keyboard and screen so you can stand up to work. Vary your position during the day between standing and sitting.
6. Scents memory. Find an essential oil or item that you can smell at your desk to energise you, like mint or citrus—especially useful in that post-lunch slump.
7. Light up. Ensure your lighting is sufficient and as natural as possible, and your screen is at an appropriate brightness.
8. Step up. Take the stairs. If you work on the 30th floor, you don’t have to take every flight. Try one flight for a week, then add in more over time.
9. Add color. Wear one small item of your favourite color to work. A tie, pantyhose, socks, cufflinks, lipstick, a hairband, a necklace, earrings, bag etc.
10. Pre-plan health. Identify three healthy meals at your three most-visited lunch places. At least once a week, don’t even look at the menu, order one of those.
11. See green. Spend a few minutes a day looking at something green and alive. If you can’t see out of a window, get a plant.
12. Return to neutral. At the end of the day take two minutes to tidy clutter away and wipe the surface down. This will make the next morning a nicer experience.
13. Stretch while sitting. Roll your shoulders back, straighten each leg and point your toes, lift your arms above your head, and point your fingers to the sky. Move your body for a few seconds in a way that feels good.
14. 20:20:20. Every 20 minutes, look at something for 20 seconds, 20 feet away, to help prevent eye strain.
15. Object of solace. Bring to work an item that brings you physical comfort. A soft sweater, a smooth pebble, a stress ball—anything that grounds you in your senses and can bring you secret consolation on a difficult day.
Simple Self-Care for Emotional Work Wellness
16. Choose a soundtrack. Find a song that energises you, and play it just before you start work (on headphones!) or on your commute to put you in the right mood.
17. Focus on others. When you interact with colleagues (or suppliers, clients, other freelancers) ask them a couple of questions about themselves before you talk about you.
18. Be vulnerable. Share something small about your personal life—a hope, fear, dream, wish, desire—with a work colleague. Ask them about theirs.
19. Build connection. Ask someone new to lunch or for a coffee.
20. Take notice. Say happy birthday or congratulate someone on something they achieved on one of their tasks or projects.
21. Know your personal brand. Write down the five words (qualities, behaviors, knowledge, etc.) others are most likely to associate with you at work.
22. Push through a small emotional discomfort. Take an action you find mildly uncomfortable—talking more in a meeting, talking less, sharing a mistake etc. It will then be easier to do later when you don’t have a choice.
23. Deepen a workplace relationship. Identify someone at work you want to know better. Increase the quality and quantity of your interactions.
24. Connect to a positive memory. Choose a physical item to go on your desk that uplifts you because of its associations (e.g., a foreign coin from a holiday, a special photo).
25. Celebrate. Take a moment to celebrate (privately or with colleagues) a small work win before you rush on to the next task.
26. Create a workplace tradition. Connect colleagues with “Pizza Friday/; or “morning-coffee-and-catch-up,” even if it’s through Zoom.
27. Look forward. Always have something at work you’re looking forward to. Create that thing yourself, if necessary.
28. Build a positive attitude. Think of three things that make work great for you (a friend, a project, a client, a café you visit in your lunch hour), and write a list of these over time. Include one in each week.
29. Take the long view. When upset about a mistake you made, or something that happened, ask yourself, will this still matter to me in five years?
30.What matters? Take a helicopter view, and think about—what do I gain from this job? What does it bring me? Is there a balance between the rewards and the work?
Simple Self-Care for Mental Work Wellness
31. Use physical boundaries. Help your brain switch off via “thresholding” at the bookends of your day. Step through the door that leads into your workspace and tell yourself “I am at work’ “Step out of your workspace and tell yourself “I have left work.”
32. Find your values. Write down the things that are important to you at work and circle the top three to four. Use these to guide decisions.
33. Get feedback. Ask five people who know you well what they see as your top three strengths and development areas.
34. Improve one thing. Choose a behavior that is not working for you and experiment with doing it differently.
35. Have a walking meeting. Ask a colleague with whom you have a meeting planned if you can do this while outside and moving.
36. Get unstuck. When working on a creative challenge, set a timer and free write for five minutes on the problem.
37. Expand your perspective. Ask a colleague to talk you through how they approach a common issue you both experience.
38. Use a timer. Choose a task you do regularly where you know roughly how long it takes, and set a timer for 10% less than that. Complete the task in less time.
39. Learn something. Listen to a podcast, read a blog article or several pages of a non-fiction book at the start or end of your day.
40. Know where you’re going. Pick a small career goal and write down three actions that would get you closer to it. Complete one action.
41. Be curious. Always have something you’re learning or developing relevant to your work—a book, course, discussions, professional development etc.
42. Distance self-talk. Create some objectivity in your thoughts by talking to yourself using your name, or second or third person.
43. Make a “small pleasures at work” list. Write down the smallest behaviours (e.g., smile at a friend) you can do that bring you joy in the workplace. Include one in every day.
44. Determine a downer. What one activity do you find most draining at work? What small action can you take to make that activity just a fraction easier for yourself?
45. Enjoy the process as much as the outcome. Achieving a goal can bring delight, but the journey to get there is likely to take longer, so find ways to make the process just as enjoyable.
We Are What We Do Every Day
In the end, the actions we do most often are those that make up who we are.
If we’re going to be our best self, we need to keep self-compassion and self-care in mind at work as well as outside it.
Treat your work as an integral piece of who you are as a whole.
Break out of your loop. Pay attention to your work wellness.
Pick one of the ideas and try it today.
—
**Ellen has generously offered five copies of her new book, Your Work Wellness Toolkit: Mindset Tips, Journaling, and Rituals to Help You Thrive at Work, to Tiny Buddha readers. Offering 100 simple and super-effective exercises, Your Work Wellness Toolkit is a practical guide to nurturing yourself at work so you can feel calmer, more productive, and more energized, every day.
To enter to win a copy, leave a comment below sharing which self-care exercise above resonated with you most strongly, then email the link to your comment to Ellen at ellen@ellenbard.com with “Tiny Buddha Giveaway” in the subject line.
You can enter until midnight PST on Friday, February 18th. She’ll choose the winners at random and contact them soon after!
About Ellen Bard
Ellen Bard’s mission is to help you be your best self at work and in life. A Chartered Psychologist, she’s published two books on self-care, works with those who are too tough on themselves, and loves all things that sparkle. For the free cheat sheet: 5 Unusual Tips to Take Care of Yourself, click over to EllenBard.com.
Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine.
Out of the 45 self-care exercise suggestions that resonated with me the most was #11 (See green.). My husband and I just moved to a small farm house out in the country and I’ve been meaning to purchase several new plants for inside. Due to the wintry season still here in the Pacific Northwest, I’m hoping that a few different shades of green (and possibly a bloom or two) could help pull me through the dark, wet, gloom that has been circling our scenery. However, we just had a beautiful week of sun, blue skies and the 60s – so, not to complain too badly. I appreciate your inspiration, thank you!
Hi Ellen
Thank you for taking the time write this article – it is almost like deja vu – as I have been experiencing something close to burnout at work over a relocation to a new building with a severly diminished team (read – just me currently). One of the practices I used to have in South Africa – which I failed to bring with me to the UK is that of stepping out of the office to just breath and get some movement during the day – so I will be implementing tip #4 and scheduling outdoor breathing/moving time going foward. Again – thank you!
So integral to do these things.
Especially when you do something you love, but don’t know how to deal with the stress of acceptance.
Take one long deep breath. My favorite break when I can remember to do it! Thank you for all the useful tips.
Hello Ellen,
Thanks for sharing this curated list of self-care tips. #17 and 18 greatly resonate with me, as I often try to make better connections with colleagues by asking them about themselves as well as share my own vulnerabilties. As a manager I also practice #37 by asking colleagues to share their perspectives. Most important of all is awareness of self and self-care, to be able to care of things we care about. Thanks again. P
Hi Ellen, thank you for sharing your story and helpful self-care tips!
Have you considered cutting back on your hours and reducing the number of flights?
Particularly the amount of flights is unhealthy. Cosmic radiation exposure which occurs during flight is linked to cancer and reproductive issues. Respiratory conditions are common for those who fly frequently. This may explain how you caught strep throat. Then there’s circadian rhythm disruption to content with too.
I hope things are better now, best wishes!
Ellen, there are too many to pick one, but I will have to go with the 20-20-20. Hopefully, it will make a difference in the evening when my eyes are at rest.
Ellen,
Thanks for all these great ideas! I love the 20-20-20 tip! So easy to do and helpful! So many of these resonated with me!
Hi, Ellen, Thank you for this lovely list of helpful ideas! My favorite idea is “3. Take one deep breath. Just one. But make it a good, long one. Breathe out and imagine that breath flushing through your body and going into the earth to ground you.” Sometimes, I forget to breathe fully and when I can catch myself doing such, I make sure to take a really deep breath, sometimes more than once. I tend to feel clearer and happier.
Scents memory – I have a peppermint essential oil roll-on that I use during the “afternoon slump.” The refreshing scent revitalizes me for the rest of the workday.
Hi Ellen, thanks for sharing this abundant list! I love #31 – Use physical boundaries. Verbal affirmations work really well for me, so I find this method to a simple way to help my mind “threshold,” as you say.
Dear Ellen, thank you for this post. I really needed to see this today. I am an Educational Psychologist working for a District Office in Cape Town, South Africa. My colleagues and I each work with 24 schools in our District. It is a difficult load to manage but I love the relationships I build with staff and learners out in the field. Working for a bureaucracy and having to comply and conform to impossible standards is a nightmare! I love the positivity in your article and have printed a copy and left it on each of the 10 Psychologists desks. I would also love to share these ideas with teachers during our staff development workshops (with your permission, I hope).
Today, no. 43 on the list speaks to me….Make a “small pleasures at work” list. When working in a stressful environment and feeling overwhelmed, I forget to take stock of what makes me smile at work (e.g. the crazy antics of a colleague, the willingness of colleagues to share resources, gratitude expressed by some schools, etc.).
Thank you most sincerely, Jo-Ann Bergstedt
Amazing post Ellen and so many great tips and ideas for work self-care that we really need to focus on since burnout is so common these days. The one that spoke to me the most was: ‘Make a “small pleasures at work” list. Write down the smallest behaviours (e.g., smile at a friend) you can do that bring you joy in the workplace. Include one in every day.’ Love this idea and will definitely try and do this as I am back in the office next month for one day per week and am dreading it! I am going to share in my teams as well, to encourage them to think of things to bring joy to our workplace. So, as well as smiling, I also thought of: simple acts of kindness, going for a walk with a friend, checking in on someone you haven’t spoken to in a while. Will try to think of some more!
I chose one from each category that resonates the most, but the best thing about this list is that unlike most lists I can actually imagine implementing every item. I espelike “return to neutral,” “take the long view,” and “use physical boundaries as thresholds.”
Hi Ellen,
Most days I utilize #11 See Green and #16 Choose a Soundtrack for my own work self-care. The one I am now going to implement is #40 Know Where You’re Going
I understand the power of green space and nature to release stress and lower anxiety and music has always been my go to for positivity, mood enhancing, let it go good mo jo. Thank you for sharing this with the world and I look forward to hanging this in my office as a constant reminder that I am in power of my world, feelings, and security! 🙂
Thanks for the ideas! As someone who likes gardening and the outdoors, #11 resonates with me. My office is in the interior of the building, and I find I have to be very intentional about making sure I go outside during the day.
Thank you for sharing this. It was just what I needed on a Monday morning as motivation.
Holding the fort down on your own sounds exhausting! Hope some movement helps you shake off some of the stresses of the day as you go.
The power of repetition can help us so much in these circumstances, and bringing conscious awareness to things that just fade into the background otherwise. Thanks for sharing!
I’m really pleased – and it’s here to come back to and consult whenever you need a self-care-at-work boost! <3
That’s wonderful, and a great idea, if you put it up you can always make it a game to randomly pick a number each day or week and try one! Hope that exploring #40 helps support you as you progress.
It can be especially difficult in the Northern hemisphere in the winter months when you can feel like you never see the sun. Hope you find ways of getting some fresh air and green into the day in future.
A post it helps me remember a bit more often – you can also use a screensaver, background, picture, phone timer, or anything else that gives you a nudge!
It’s so easy to forget to take our eyes off the screen for hours, but just a few seconds can help our eyesight in the long run. Glad it helps!
That’s a fun idea to take one from each list. I love that all of them feel possible to you, that’s a real compliment to me as a writer, I appreciate it! Enjoy putting them into practice.
So glad you liked it! That’s the one I have on a post it next to my desk – so simple, so grounding 🙂
I haven’t done any flights since covid started 🙂 Thanks for your well wishes!
I hope it takes some of the strain away from them after a long day. Be kind to yourself!
Thank you for sharing – and for supporting your team with your practices. Setting examples of good self-care can only make a workplace better for everyone.
Thank you, and I’m glad it came at the right time, and appreciate you thought it was interesting and useful enough to be shared! (Yes you can share things from the site, just check out Lori’s FAQs in the About section of the website). One fun thing you can do is write one small pleasure down a day and pop them in a jar, then whenever you’re feeling tougher feelings, you can just pick one out! Good luck and thanks to you and all those you work with for the good work you do.
That time of the day can be a really tough one, sounds like a lovely kind way to help you get through it <3
I appreciate you commenting. Sounds like a good way to support you getting through the difficult darker months, but I’m glad you still get a few days of sunshine here and there!
This is another of my favourites! It can really change our focus to bring attention to this kind of tiny happiness or joy. I hope you and the team can put together a lovely list and incrementally improve your day at work a week.
I hope the list helps and gives you more ideas to support you.