Hello my friend..

 

My name is Wind.

I would like to share some ideas with you.

I only invite your curious quiet contemplation. After sharing.. Everything depends on you..

 

I share ideas straight and not just from your difficulties but for your total life..

 

Let’s begin at the end..

 

As you said.. The man say, as he leave..

‘No one will love you more than me.’

 

If your awareness was awake in your life.. In

these words you would see everything in the nature of the man.

As the Truth always appears at the end.

 

They are not the words of a man who did see or understand the life or the nature of the love.

These words are the words of man who is full of selfishness and the seed of possession cruel.

 

But because of your emotional blindness with the object (man) you feel it’s a special and so rare. You guilty and suffer and all sorts of delusional ideas about yourself appear.

 

My friend..

 

You must wake up. You are the woman of 24.

 

No man that was a MAN, who loved unconditionally and was awake and understood the heart of the woman would ever throw words like an emotional knife as his final words. Never.

 

I tell you..  From everything you describe about your life that there is not a thing wrong with you. But from your fears, your doubt, your false seeing and thinking that comes from keeping emotions attached to imaginary dreams and outcomes..

 

You fall into your own self created prison.

 

What if? What if? = You are busy in the deluded imagination of a life that is not yours. What if means it’s not you.

 

Some questions for you to ask you.

 

If you was born to only one day must die.. Then. What is the purpose of BE BORN?

 

What is the purpose of the life?

 

What is your purpose in the life?

 

Before you meet this man.. Where was all your emotions and suffering?

All your guilt is your effect from not knowing yourself and having the courage and confidence to walk the path to keep discovering your life.

 

…..

 

You shared you made a choice with another woman and from your choice you received bad effect. I see you understand and accept.

Good.

 

So from that experience you can see the Law of cause and effect. Meaning.. From you lost awareness.. And follow emotions of desire and lust you received equal effect.

Of course you pay for your mistake.

 

So now.. Do not keep any feelings with the past situation.

Only grow up your awareness to ready and awake for next situation appears.

To see past the appearance from emotions. Choose a better way for yourself in each situation takes practice and courage.

 

The more awake in Awareness you become the faster you can overcome yourself to see clearly and refuse dark situation.

You see effect in the cause and cause in the effect. (requires practice)

 

But now.. Everything that is your life is the appearance of the law of cause and effect.

Everyone.. You. Me. Each person.

 

My friend there are many spaces in the Law. You either grow up your Soul and life to change levels or you grow down your life to enter equal lower levels. Always depends on your energy, actions.

 

Must courage and self determination to grow up your life and face to face with everything that comes or does not come.

 

Now.. You volunteer yourself to become a slave to your feelings grasping in false thoughts and ideas about you.

 

I share..

 

A man sees a bird. He says it’s so beautiful and can not stand anyone else have it.

He must have it. So he puts it in a cage.

He so proud of it. Many people come and admire the bird as it sings and he talks how much he loves it.

 

My friend..

 

The bird sings from its love or to overcome its suffering?..

 

Nothing in this life is more important than your practice to grow up your Soul and discover your life.

 

Everything that comes or goes always follows the Law of if begin means on the time it must end = Of Course.

 

Everything that comes and goes belongs to the space and time..

 

But it is not you.

 

When you confuse yourself with external objects you lost yourself and fall into many unreal prisons of suffering caused by wrong seeing.

 

Why you don’t see the beauty of possibilities that wait for you?.. and just attach fears and dark ideas to an ending..?…

 

And ending is a new beginning..

 

I always share my friend..

 

Overcome yourself and you will win yourself back. Escape the attachment and you will come back to yourself.

 

One man goes = on the time another will appear. You can not say IF.

You can not know who. Or what.

Until everything appears.

 

But what you can do is begin to clear and clean your own mind of all fears about  imaginary outcomes of a future.

 

Just come back to you. Respect your Soul and life. You were not born for slavery to the behaviours of any object outside of you.

 

Grow up inside. Compassion for your life.

You think you have the time to lose all this energy for one object but you can not imagine that you are wasting seconds that can never return.

 

Clean and clear and look for good purpose in the life. Sincere with yourself. Courage in each step to see the limit of all things.

Courage to keep your eyes open and ready to discover the value of your life.

 

Sometimes our inner mirror becomes so dirty.. We lost it. But it always waits for each person to come back. Back to the pure and clear layer of the Soul.

Clean means clean your behaviour with yourself and the life. Means put down the emotion. Cut the stings of attachment and slavery to another.

 

From passing through many hells I can tell you sincerely..

 

The bright clear space within you that knows no Suffering or delusion always waits for you. There is no where to go looking outside..

 

Only come back. Come back to your original clear and bright nature. By slowly removing all the obstructions that took you away from you.

 

Patience. Sincere. Courage. Confidence..

As you go courageously in each step so to does your own faith in yourself begin to appear.

 

Every situation is an occasion to see the Laws of the life and grow up your Soul.

 

Each must choose my friend..

 

Exist like a mouse running on the spinning wheel of repeat.

Or get off it and begin to live.

 

Living requires courage. To see that the life always moves and changes.

 

‘No one will ever love you more than me.’

Said the man to the beautiful bird in the cage before he slept each night.

 

Keep going my friend.

 

Its ok.

 

Relax with the life.

 

Courage. Confidence. Practice good behaviour inside and out.

 

Great treasures inside wait you. Wait for you to come back.

 

And on  time with enough details and conditions.. Everything will open and become clear.

 

Everything will take place.

 

Thank you so much.

 

Wind.

Dear natie:

As I understand it, the relationship was good in the beginning because his role was that of an emotional child, and your role was that of a practical mother: you gave him advice and guided him on practical things, from how to wash his clothes to how to interview for jobs. But after your affair and losing your job, you became too emotional to maintain your role (“like someone else is controlling me… feeling off , moody and down”).

He did not like losing the practical, calm and collected mother role you had in the relationship, and he did not want to change his role, at least temporarily, so to  be “the parent” that you needed. He was not able or willing to be there for you, take care of you. He wanted you to continue as before: be there for him, take care of him.

In a healthy relationship, the roles should be more flexible and balanced: when one person feels very emotional, the other needs to be the calm and collected one, at least for a while, and vice versa. Seems to me that he was not able or willing to change his role so to accommodate you at your time of need. Instead, he shamed and guilt-tripped you, accusing you of .. a “narcissist.. sociopath.. toxic” mother to him, and that you believe his accusations. Could I be correct in my current understanding?

anita

• This reply was modified 3 years, 4 months ago by .

Dear natie:

You are not “the devil in this relationship.. narcissist.. sociopath.. toxic” person. Sure, it was wrong for you to have an affair while in relationship with him, and it was wrong for you to be moody and mean to him afterwards, but you are not the devil and he is not an angel.

To be clear: are you saying that you never felt shame or guilt  before you had an affair while in relationship with this man?

anita

Dear natie:

In my question: “you never felt shame or guilt  before you had an affair while in relationship with this man?”, I meant before you met him, growing up, as a child. Maybe you felt that you were supposed to be there for your mother- that you didn’t help her like you were supposed to, that you didn’t make her life better (anything at all like that)?

anita

Dear natie:

That’s okay. So, as a child, you felt overly responsible for your mother; fast forward, you feel overly responsible for this man. It does not surprise me, because adults (including myself) often keep re-living the same emotional experience of childhood, although in different circumstances.

When you brought a bad grade from school to your mother, and she was sad, did you feel.. like “the devil”, like you did something terrible?

anita