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Is he too much for me?

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  • #328669
    Hennessy
    Participant

    I’ve been speaking to a guy that I really like. We’ve grown fairly close and speak on the phone every other night. We’ve met and we clicked instantly, our energies go well together.

    Whilst we’re into the same stuff like spirituality, we are opposites. I’m extremely introverted, unless I’m with the right people. Not an awkward introversion, more of a closed off. He’s very eccentric, extroverted and would do things that I wouldn’t.. eg. Model.
    I don’t know if it’s my own insecurities getting in the way telling me I’m not good enough. Not only because of his ability to be an extroverted, confident, and I don’t want to say loud, but known person, but also because of his looks.
    I don’t think I’m not pretty but I do sometimes feel like I’m not on his level.
    I’m comfortable with my quiet, introverted lifestyle and I don’t want to feel like I need to be another person for him. But he doesn’t make me feel that way, I make me feel that way. He never judges me, he’s just different.

    Could it work? Me, an introvert who doesn’t want to be known and an extrovert, who wants to be famous worldwide… Could we work?

    I’ve been hurt bad in the past and I’m scared of it happening again, truthfully. I’m scared of other girls coming into the picture as his platform grows. I’m scared of girls obsessing over him and I know they will- he’s beautiful. But I trust him enough to know he wouldn’t do me wrong. But thats what were made to think.
    I’m not the jealous type or the petty type. I’m quiet and will walk away in silence if I was cheated on. But I can’t go through that pain again.

    What if I’m investing into nothing? What if, because of our life choices, we’re simply not compatible? I support everything he does but at what cost?

    #328685
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Hennessy:

    I didn’t read anything that suggests to me that it cannot work between the two of you.  If indeed he is trustworthy (“I trust him enough to know he wouldn’t do me wrong”), it is a huge factor why a relationship with him can work.

    If his focus on modeling (as I understand it to be) is about his passion for fashion, form and movement, traveling, making money- I don’t see anything wrong with that.

    A very extroverted man with a very introverted woman (“Not an awkward introversion, more of closed off”)- I don’t see a problem with that either.

    For a relationship to work well, there needs to be Trust: the two people worthy of each other’s trust and trusting each other. There needs to be a compatibility of Values: do the two of you value monogamy, having an intimate relationship with only one partner. Then there is Lifestyle, is there a fit;  let’s say you trust him, the two of you value monogamy, but his lifestyle includes going to bars with his guy friends. After some drinking he is likely to be impulsive and forget all about trust and values, and end up together with a woman he meets there.

    I hope you can talk with him about these things and get to know him over time in different contexts  (his/your friends, his/your family maybe, his/your work context). After knowing each other well enough, then consider a relationship with him, fewer chances of getting hurt this way.

    anita

    #328713
    Inky
    Participant

    Hi Hennessy,

    In our twenties (I’m assuming that’s your ages) everyone is young and beautiful. You yourself are probably more beautiful than you give yourself credit for.

    The thing with modelling is that it only lasts for a few years. Most people peak. And I’ve known plenty of gorgeous boys develop into average looking men overnight. His cheekbones won’t be as high, he’ll grow a brow ridge with lines on his face, the dad bod will happen…

    There is a danger down the line that people won’t flock around him like they did back in the day. THAT’S when he’ll be more likely to stray.

    For right now, clearly he chose you for a REASON, and I would enjoy it.

    Best,

    Inky

    #328743
    Anonymous
    Guest

    * testing

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