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Recently separated and struggling

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  • #327045
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Momma Tink:

    What I understand from what you shared is that you are from the UK living in the US, married, dogs, no children,  moved states a year ago and purchased a home six months ago, but have no equity in it yet; husband told you six weeks ago (no arguments preceded it) that “his heart was no longer in” the marriage with you, that you “have been the most amazing wife and friend and done nothing wrong”, that the fact that you travel for work “has nothing to do with it”, and he “doesn’t speak much and will not see a councilor”.

    A financial and a separation agreement was drawn, allowing him to stay in the house while you travel for work. To understand better I ask (and feel free to answer or not): this contract, was that your idea or his? And that clause, “to stop me from invading the space he wanted”- who initiated this clause, or how did it come about?

    You shared that you passed your alcohol test today”- (for the purpose of getting a driver’s license? I am not familiar with such a requirement).

    You shared that it’s been almost a year that your mother passed away, that you don’t have friends in the state where you live, that you are are very much alone, “stuck and so very lonely”, and that you have a lot  to  say-

    – you are welcome to say all that you want to say here, to express your thoughts and feelings. I will be glad to read more from you and reply after each time you share, as long as you’d like me to do that. I hope other members reply to you as well (before and after I submit this post).

    anita

     

     

    #327077
    Valora
    Participant

    Is there anything that has been going on lately with your husband, extreme stress? Depression? Anything like that?

    Aside from that… definitely join some groups. Find some hobby groups in the area that you might enjoy, painting, sewing, even a bowling league or something. It will be a good way to both take your mind off of what’s going on for a bit and meet new people while doing something fun and enjoyable. I think you will start to feel at least a little better if you are able to make some new friends and have some social support.  I also agree with counseling groups with people who have been through similar experiences. That common ground will really help too, and you’ll likely develop friendships with those people, as well.

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