Sounds like he is avoiding you. Perhaps your frustration is because he is not taking any responsibility for your relationship, and you are looking like the “bad guy” so you don’t challenge his commitment to the relationship. You say you didn’t plan to have a child and although he is a blessing, has the fact you didn’t plan had an impact on your partner in ways that make him act out. I feel you are not getting your needs met because you are not in an adult relationship and if he will not let you talk. Write it down and give it to him and ask if he is  in fear of commitment. Ask if he sees a future for you both.Ask the hard questions, and explain why you are worrying about him not becoming serious. Is he being authentic and not just there to paddle water. I hope you get some answers.

This sounds so familiar to me except I am married to mine and we both wanted a child, but didn’t think I was able to. Then surprise!

I am a year older than my husband and I felt that he was not serious about the things I thought were important and he thought I was too serious about things altogether. Having our son made me get even more serious. He is also the best thing to ever happen to me. I can’t imagine life without our son.

I, too, was always initiating conversations and short tempered with him. I didn’t feel that either of us were getting our needs met and that it was not only bad for us but for our son to be around. I blamed him for my unhappiness. He would shut down and not want to listen to me.

Turns out that no one wants to listen to someone that is angry all the time and never has anything positive to say to them other than what is wrong with the relationship or what they are doing wrong. Turns out I was not so very mature when it came to communication with him and he did what most people would do. Shut down.

I can promise you that if you change your approach he may be a lot more receptive. If you treat him like the child you believe he behaves like then he will act that out. When I started to look at myself and really listened to how I spoke to my husband, what I was saying and what HE was trying to say then I had to take responsibility for my part in it.

If you truly believe he is not for you then you have to make a decision. If you want to work it out then you need to look inside as you meditate and decide what is important and what is really not.

Remember, if you love someone you love them as they are. If you want to change them then you do not love them unconditionally as they are.

My husband’s sense of humor is one of the things I liked about him. It is a balance. He makes me laugh when I am too serious and I remind him when we need to stop joking and get something accomplished. Then we can go back to fun.

I hope you are able to figure out what you want and need. Life is too short to be too serious. It is OK to have fun too.

A