Loleta,

There are strategies to separate yourself from him as you well know.

Block him on your phone and social media (or delete him).

Do not respond if he does reach you.  This can be a mindfulness exercise when he does reach out to you, you can pause, breath, and decide not to respond.

Focus on nurturing yourself, i.e., be active, be social with others, meditate, exercise.

Frankly I think it is a you are not valuing yourself enough to give him up.

I believe a good therapist does not tell you what you need to do but help you become healthy within yourself plus have tools to use to practice good mental health.

Mark

Dear Loleta:

You are welcome. But it is not only me and Mark who brought up  good points, you did too, starting with your original post, excellent points, organized, clear, making terrific sense. No doubt you did the right thing to end this marriage and relationship.

Regarding feeling sorry for a man who cheated on you repeatedly, one you can not trust because he is untrustworthy, I used to feel sorry for an uncaring, selfish and hurtful adult because I saw the hurting, innocent child locked in there. But if the uncaring adult will not access that child-within and keeps him locked away while choosing to be unloving, well, better that I stay out of the way of harm.

I hope you do socialize, enjoy the company of people, cooking, making jewelry. What kind of cooking is your favorite?

anita

Dear Loleta:

Then we experienced something very similar, the child-in-the-monster.

I am not a cook but I think I know good cooking. I prefer high protein and fiber dishes, less starch and oil, more vegetables and lean meat, meat not overcooked, medium rare, tender and juicy, vegetables retaining their individual flavor and texture, again, not overcooked, I love bread (not all bread is created equal!), lots of different ethnic foods.

anita

Dear Loleta:

Vegetables are wonderful, and make great stir fries, low calorie and high volume, and if the meat is let’s say chicken breast, it makes it moist and easy to take in. One problem with cooking chicken breast is to not have it come out too dry, which is a big challenge in the coming Thanksgiving holiday, turkey that is too dry. What people do to counter that is to add lots of gravy to the dry turkey.

What is your position on turkey/ chicken that is too dry?

anita

Dear Loleta:

This is the secrete- to sear the chicken on a hot pan so the juices stay in and another secret is to not get sidetracked and forget the food that is being grilled elsewhere. I am not cooking for Thanksgiving, my husband cooks, he is a great cook, bakes bread as well, incredible. We do  Cornish hens for Thanksgiving, fits two people, they don’t get dry being so small.

Are we sidetracked with food, sidetracked from the topic of your thread?

Florida: the beach will be lovely, I am sure. Something to look forward to, socializing and the sun and ocean.

anita