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I’m struggling to get over nasty things my bf said about me to another girl

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Viewing 5 posts - 1 through 5 (of 5 total)
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  • October 24, 2018 at 11:01 am #233031
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Emma:

    I wish you didn’t find those messages, that they didn’t exist at all.

    You wrote: “I don’t seem to have anyone close to me who hasn’t had an awful thought about me”- I don’t understand, what people and what are their thoughts as expressed to you?

    anita

     

    October 24, 2018 at 10:35 pm #233137
    Emma
    Participant

    Well I had to move to be with my partner and i don’t have anyone close to me. I grew up where we are living but most of my old connections had bad endings or were toxic people. My parents are close and my brother who I used to be very close to but unfortunately he has a substance abuse problem he’s been battling for many years and I have had to distance myself from him as he says and does horrible things when he goes of the rails.

    October 24, 2018 at 11:51 pm #233141
    Prash
    Participant

    Dear Emma,

    What kind of resolution in this situation are you looking for? You mentioned about being upset and having doubts about the relationship that you have with him. In the 12 months since the incident how has his behavior been? You mentioned that he had written messages that contained horrible things being said about you. Has he behaved in a way that makes you think that he is still likely to do the same.

    When distressing thoughts are there the tendency is to group all negative things in life along with that. It may be better if you can treat this situation in isolation and take a look solely at the relation that you have with him and where you want to go with it.

    Don’t think of yourself as a common denominator to all the previous relationships. It always takes two for a relationship to be in a particular way. I am certain that you are neither nasty nor horrible.

    Your child is still small and needs you to be closest to being at your best possible state of mind. Hope you are able to work yourself towards that.

    Take care

     

    October 25, 2018 at 6:34 am #233221
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Emma:

    It is a bad thing that your brother was verbally abusive toward you. It is very important that you have no contact with anyone who verbally abuses you, saying offensive things to you, humiliating you and so forth. It doesn’t matter if it is family, whomever abuses you, that person shouldn’t be in your life.

    How does your boyfriend speak to you, is he respectful toward you in his words and behavior?

    (If you want to share what it is that he wrote about you a year ago, please do)

    anita

    October 25, 2018 at 1:13 pm #233365
    Feathering my nest
    Participant

    I think the others have said the right things, I just wanted to say that I’ve read what you’ve written and hope you get to the other side of your struggle soon.

     

    xx

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