Dear Elise,

You think that he is someone you could easily spend the rest if your life with, he is always sweet to you and you have made plenty of plans for the future. If he has said those things that your friend mentioned, then he may not be thinking about the relationship the way you are. But you will never know for sure unless you ask him about it. Unless you get a clarification, it will be difficult for you to move past it.

You don’t want to confront him. Maybe you can look for ways to ask him in a way that is not confrontational. Hope the other readers are able to give you some guidance on that.

Dear Elise:

Your friend told you that he told you what she said he did and then she told you to not tell him because he told her to not tell you.

Well, she chose to tell you even though he asked her not to. She didn’t tell him that she will tell you. I suppose she figured if she tells you what he said, but you will never confront him on what he said, then she will not have to deal with the fact that she told you..

It gets complicated. To simplify it I would say this: it is okay for you to confront him with what he said, because he did say it (I assume) and she did tell you.

I figure he was miserable that night, and angry. But what if it is true that moving in with you was a purely economical decision on his part. You should know if this is true to him. I would ask him if I was you, but ask him in a non confrontational way, gently, so that he will be less likely to get alarmed and more likely to answer you honestly.

anita